The joy of the trial

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trails, so that the tested genuineness of your faith-more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire-may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of you faith, the salvation of your souls." ~1 Peter 1:3-9

Mark Driscoll expounded upon this passage in one of the better sermons I have ever heard. The fact of the Bible being proclaimed aside, part of the impact was the method by which he delivered it, while the other was the condition of my heart. I watched this sermon in the midst of my job search last fall. I spent from the end of February to the beginning of the last school year trying to land a teaching job. Having come out of it empty, I resolved to let bitterness, frustration, and grief consume me. I saw the trial God had me in, but lacked any faith that He would lead me through it. His will was, then, to use this sermon to brake me down. I can remember watching it in the basement of my parent's house hoping to hear about how God promises to provide us with a quick-fix to all our trials. Instead, I found myself in tears by the end. My tears were those of a man broken by His sin and in need of God's mercy along with a man at the end of his strength, which is exactly where God wanted me. I firmly believe most of the growth I experienced over the course of last year was the fruit of this passage taking root in my heart.

I committed this verse to memory (though I have failed to brush up on it recently), and created an outline which I kept by my bed. I liked to look at it every morning to remind myself of the joy I have, especially when facing trials of all kinds. I placed it in my journal when I moved, but forgot to reestablish it in the correct location. Thankfully, Micah 4:12 brought this passage back my attention;

"But they do not know the thoughts of the Lord; they do not understand his plan, they do not understand his plan that he has gathered them as sheaves to the threshing floor."

The main point of this passage was a promise to Israel about the future of her enemies. God would bring them into the threshing floor where the chaff would be beaten from them. Israel, would then reap the benefits of this divinely judged threshing. Even with that, this passage can also apply to God's children. We don't know all of the plans God has for us, but we do know sometimes the plans won't be easy. It will feel like we are on the threshing floor having all our chaff removed. It will hurt, a lot. We will cry out for it to stop on more than one occasion. However, once the chaff is removed the wheat will be ready. Ready to be turned into exactly what the Creator intended it for. We can find joy in the process of our sanctification. God is conforming us more and more into the image of His Son. What is worth rejoicing over more than that?

Happy Birthday Big Guy!

Today my father (aka Big Guy) took another step on the opposite side of the century mark. I have already written about his role in my spiritual formation, so I won't rehash that argument. However, I do not want to diminish his impact as my father and friend. Therefore, I have decided to post two of my favorite pictures with the Big Guy from recent years. The first one comes from my sister's wedding roughly 3+ years ago. It may appear staged, but the cameraman simply took aim at him imparting wisdom to me while we waited for the bride-groom photo shoot to wrap up. Personally, it's one of my favorites in the history of our relationship.

For those who haven't been around my family very often, the nickname "Big Guy" may seem strange and possibly irreverent. Truth be told, it started in high school when we started playing Saturday morning basketball together. Given his 6'2" stature and my 5'7" frame, I naturally used him as my "big guy" on the court. From there it grew into my unofficial name for him both on and off the court. Plus his arms still swallow me up whenever we embrace or partake in our historic wrestling ritual. He is both literally and figuratively the Big Guy. This picture depicts the application of all the earthly wisdom he has bestowed upon me through the years. He would never let his children go to the beach without learning how to successfully ride waves. Lesson learned Big Guy, lesson learned.

that's what friends are for

(Did I just use one of the cheesiest songs of all time as the title of my post? It must have been a long day.)

Regardless of the cheesiness, I agree with the point of the song; friends are put around us for a multitude of reasons. Unlike the song, I agree with the reasons that Scripture points out more than any others. Two in particular are found in Proverbs 15:22; "without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed" and Ecclesiastes 4:12; "a threefold cord is not quickly broken." God graciously reminded me of these two truths through a simple text-message from one of the brothers in my band (band of brothers not musical group).

To preface the text message, I will recall the post about the book I was reading about hell. I finished the book two nights ago, but I can't escape the second of the two themes. The first theme addressed how our view of God and the work of Christ are enhanced because of the doctrine of hell. Hell points to the full reality of the holiness of God, while also reminding us of the amazing grace we receive through Christ. (Emphasis added for the sake of my mother who loves this word.) This theme alone could take up a multitude of posts. The second theme presents the response of all Christians to the reality of hell; committed to sharing the good news of the gospel because that is exactly what it is! As God reveals the extent of His holiness and grace, our desire should be for others to experience them as well.

The Spirit has been grinding this idea into my head and heart over the past two days. He has been bombarding me with names and faces of friends and loved ones outside of God's saving grace. Instead of time spent sleeping, I have been burdened to spend more time praying for those I know (and those I don't) to have the veil lifted from their eyes. On Tuesday night, He convicted me to email one friend in particular. I have known this friend since high school, but failed to be the salt and light Christ calls us to be. I felt excited about the idea, and promised to do it in the morning (first mistake) or later in the day (second mistake). By the time Wednesday morning rolled around, I successfully "unconvicted" myself to write the email. Feeling rather discouraged, I brought up the situation to my band of brothers at our weekly Bible study. They committed themselves to praying that I would not only listen to the Spirit, but act upon His leadings. One friend, however, decided to push the envelope even further.

First, he verbally rebuked me in a gentle, yet firm manner. I don't remember the exact words, but they were along the lines of "stop listening to yourself and just do it!" Simple yet profound. As I let those words bounce around in my head, I put the issue aside for the night as another friend needed my attention. Being the "absent minded professor" that I occasionally am, I went through the entire day without giving a thought to writing the email. Thankfully my friend did not. Within 10 minutes of coming home from work I received a text-message from him. It wasn't long or even overly persuasive. The screen simply read, "email your friend yet?" Without another word, I jumped on my computer and starting writing the email. What is more, my mom called while I was in the middle of writing to share some prayer requests of her own. When she was finished I felt compelled to share what I was currently doing with her. Being the wonderful, God-fearing woman that she is, she prayed with me over the phone that I would be given the words to say and the grace by which to say them. All in all, I finished the email and had my roommate look it over to ensure I was speaking the truth in love. As of now, it has been sent. I am simply waiting for the reply, whatever that might be. Until then (and after), I thank God for friends. For when my plan was just my own, it failed miserably. But when I decided to seek my "many advisers," it produced much fruit.

The Road Ahead

Over the month of January I wrote two posts which touched upon my future endeavors (look and see). As of right now I am not in any clearer standing than I was last month. However, I have had the blessing of talking with family and close friends about where they might see God leading me. While they haven't given me a clear direction, the conversations have been fruitful and encouraging. The words they have shared with me continue to drive me to the throne of grace where I can find wisdom, peace, and, eventually, my answer. This week was especially beneficial as God forced me to slow down and turn all my attention to Him. The two snow days I was blessed with this week were spent reading, praying, studying, and listening to my Father. It was as if I received two Sabbath days right in the middle of the week. Once again, I did not receive any clarity of the road ahead, but I did receive numerous challenges and reminders to let God be the One who is in control.

I learned that my road ahead looks like this:

It's dark with low visibility and ample opportunities to stumble. Why do I consider this a lesson, let alone an encouraging one? God reminded me of one simple truth; I can't walk this road relying on my own strength. If I try there will be a large, face-down snow angel right in the middle of the road. Where I can't see, He can. Where I can't stand, He will. Where I'm lost, He leads. If my road was a straight and perfectly smooth surface, He knows I would convince myself to be my own guide. This road, while difficult and strenuous, will prove a blessing as I trudge down it with Him.

Matthew 6:30-31, 33-34 says, "But if God clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious about anything...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

My Father will not start me on this road only to be abandon me when things get tough. At times I will follow in His footsteps while at others He will have to carry me. Either way, my needs will be provided for. When I believe and begin acting upon this (for belief without action is nothing but empty talk) I will focus less on the road ahead, and more on my God who is leading me. The road will seem less of a burden because I will be able to see the beauty on display all around me.

Revelation 3:14-20

Last year I read a good portion of The Valley of Vision due to the fact that I was only substitute teaching. I would bring it with me to the classrooms and read it during my prep periods. I would jot down certain lines that stood out to me or reactions I had to what was said. The more I read, the more I desired to dabble in poetic writing myself. I wrote a collection of different poems which usually came about from my Bible reading or sermons on Sunday mornings. They aren't anything to brag about, but I do enjoy coming back to them every now and again. There are certain ones which speak directly to specific areas of my life. Unfortunately, my current schedule keeps me very busy, so writing is not one of my top priorities. I am hoping to get better at squeezing in times to use writing as a form of meditating on God's Word. This poem is one of the last ones I wrote and it's title is the same of the title of this post. I listened to a message on this passage of Scripture, which shed new light on a passage I always thought I had understood.

I wish to hide from His righteous stare

For when I am found my heart is laid bare.

This bareness leaves me feeling naked and exposed

And He quickly reminds me that He already knows.

The light of His eyes burns down to my core

Where the beast of pride stands guard at the door.

Here it is fed and given life to survive

And the glory of self has allowed it to thrive.

It pursues its own interests and seeks it own praise.

Instead of trying to fight, I submit to its ways.

I boast in myself for the things He has done

And am convinced I no longer have need for the Son.

I say I am rich when in fact I am poor.

I am wretched, naked, blind, and pitiful once more.

The deeds of the faith are lukewarm and a waste

So out of His mouth He spits me with haste.

But there in my filth I am not left alone

For He still loves me and calls me His own.

He gives me garments of white to cover my shame

And the riches that come from sharing His name.

He rubs mud on my eyes to restore my sight

Then moves to my heart where He's ready to fight.

He opens the door and throws out the beast

To make room for Himself and a magnificent feast.

Now before Him I stand with my heart open wide

But this time I'm willing having no need to hide.

the blizzard of 0'10

Last night and into most of this morning the snow fell continuously. It took a while to get ourselves out from underneath the behemoth amounts of snow, but we are able to move about freely at this point. Now with the typical nature of this blog, you might expect an exposition comparing snow to being dressed in white through the death of Christ. While I do appreciate viewing the snowfall in this light, I also recognize the simple pleasures it brings. Snow (especially larger amounts) is best for reliving the days of my childhood. This particular storm was ripe for activities such as tunnel-building. The first step is to create a hole and slowly work your way further into it (ala Jordan)...

After a good deal of wiggling, heavy breathing, and multiple failed attempts your tunnel should look like this (barring any unforeseen collapses)...

Once you have slid yourself all the way through, you can let the neighbor's kids play in your tunnel while you entertain their dog, Hunter. He took a little while to warm up to us, but eventually we all became good friends...

Oh the wonders of the snow!

Why would I read a book centered on the doctrine of hell?

You may or may not have noticed one of the readings I am currently in the midst of. The book is entitled Hell Under Fire. It expounds upon the doctrine of hell, and why it is crucial to the Christian faith. In all honesty, I have no idea why I purchased this book. I was in religion section of Borders meandering through the titles when this one jumped out at me. Prior to this point, hell was a not a topic I would willingly choose to gain a firmer understanding of. Part of it was ignorance (which is rarely ever bliss) while the other was fear of what people may think about a guy who desires to learn about eternal suffering and judgment. These notions were challenged right away when I read the book's introduction; "no doctrine stands alone...take out the doctrine of hell, and the entire shape of Christian theology is inevitably altered."

At first I wasn't sure how to take this seemingly bold statement. I had gotten this far with an "out of sight, out of mind" mentality towards hell. Because Christ saved me from it through His death on the cross, I saw no need to dwell upon it. The authors of this book emphatically state the opposite. They litter each chapter with verses speaking to the reality and purpose of hell. It's not necessarily the most fun I have had reading a book (some biblical texts are tough to swallow), but the glimpses of God I have seen are awe-inspiring. "These truths should drive...God's people to their knees in worship." God has revealed a deeper longing for heaven, and the reality of spending eternity in His presence. It's where my regenerated heart yearns to be. He has also reminded me of the extent of His grace poured. Knowing the full extent of what He has redeemed me from leaves me feeling humbled and grateful. I cry aloud with Jonah, "salvation belongs to our God."

However, we insult the name of Christ if the doctrine of hell only leads us to a place of (corporate)worship (since all of life is to be an act of worship). A deeper grasp of the nature of hell should drive us into the presence of God in order to reach out to the lost. "These truths should motivate us who know the Lord to love, pray for, and speak with unsaved persons concerning eternal destinies." Hell should remove any and all sense of the fear of man many of us (especially me) suffer from. The condition of lost souls would trump how intact our feelings are. We wouldn't view hell as the "ugly stain" of the faith, and therefore be less likely to bring it up. Instead, we would be more urgent to speak the truth, which reveals the fuller depths of God's grace. It doesn't mean fire and brimstone sermons on street corners, but it does require a willingness to speak up. The Bible's portrayal of hell is as a contrast to heaven. Everything wonderful and glorious about heaven is horrific and terrifying in hell. The fullest extents of love, joy, fellowship, and freedom (and so much more) are contrasted by the fullest extents of anger, grief, isolation, and bondage beyond imagination. We should be just as willing to talk about hell as we about heaven. Each one magnifies the other. If our goal is to love and reach out to the lost as Christ did, we need to declare the realities of hell as He did. His willingness to be blunt about God's judgment should motivate us to be bold and leave out the "double hockey sticks."