How awesome would it be if God gave us signs for which path to follow like this one from a hiking trip in Utah last summer? It's simple yet obvious, leaving no room for questions.

Or how about one to let you know how much longer you have until you have reached your destination, wherever that is? It encourages you to keep plugging away because you know where the finish line is.
Or maybe a warning for what is around the next bend? It says the way is hard, but at least I can prepare myself for what I am about to face.
Sometimes God does reveal His will to us in ways like these. Of course I wish He would do it like this all the time, but His ways are higher. As Jeremiah humbly states; I know, O Lord, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps (10:23)...For as the loincloth clings to the waist of a man, so I made the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah cling to me, declares the Lord (13:11). With my time off over the summer, I pray God will teach me to humbly follow and helplessly cling.

the loss of a friend

The week thus far has been a rather emotional one. For the first time, all the emotions are not related to what is going on in my classroom. There, I continue to plug away as I realize how worn out I am by all that has transpired this year (another post about that topic will be written in the next few weeks).

The emotional twist started with my journey home over the weekend. Whenever I am around my family emotions are always involved. I got to spend time with my sister, niece, dad, younger sister, cousins, aunt, uncle, and briefly, mom. It was a good time of reconnecting and enjoying being with each one of them. I am always reminded how much I take my family for granted whenever I come home to an empty house or am spending time with friends who have not been blessed in this particular way. I am left to once again thank my Father for all the rich blessings He has lavished upon me.

As ridiculous as this is going to sound, the highly anticipated end to my favorite television show also brought on some unexpected emotions. LOST have taken over my Tuesday evenings since my freshman year of college when it all began. Over the years, Tuesday has become a night of fellowship with friends on a consistent basis. It has also helped to establish new relationships with folks out here, which has been good for me. Aside from the need to now put forth more of an effort in attempts for fellowship, the show itself tugged at the old heart strings. For those who have never watched and, therefore, don't understand, LOST focused on the relationships between characters for the duration of its airing. You learned to love every character over the course of six years, and the way they chose to end the show did justice them. At times, I found myself holding back a couple of tears or swallowing a large lump that had formed in the back of my throat. Personally, I enjoy whenever television or movies can do this effectively. I welcome it whenever I can.

Those two items aside, the real emotional draw of this week revolves around the title of my post. First, I want to preface it by saying I do not mean to belittle anyone who has lost a genuine friend. I lost one when I was three, but can only remember crying and asking my parents when I would get to play with him again. I am close with plenty of people who have lost loved ones and do not want to poke fun at their struggles to cope. This week's loss is nowhere near the same level, but still significant.

On Monday, our family lost our lovable companion, Snickers. Nothing drastic, just simply the affects of aging.

Now I personally get annoyed whenever people refer to their dogs as a member of the family or with any other human terms. Snickers was not a human. She was not my 4th sibling or my parent's 5th child. She was exactly what I said she was, a lovable companion. She wasn't very fond of other people (especially poor Jordan), but she loved her family.

We got her when I was in sixth grade (I think), and last year was the most enjoyable time I have ever had with her. When I would come home from substituting, she would greet me at the door, tail wagging with delight. At night, I would head down to my "office" in the basement where she would follow. While I typed away at everything and anything, she would lay at my feet content. If I got up, she would follow until I found a place to sit. The best was when you pulled out a blanket because she would get excited at the opportunity to lay on top of it with you. As cheesy as it sounds, Snickers always made you feel like you were important (maybe because she couldn't eat, drink, or go to the bathroom without me). She wasn't overly big on snuggling unless it was on her terms. But when those moods came, I couldn't help but smile. I have a lot of family memories which include her somewhere in the picture, whether it's wrestling with my brother to see who she would come to the aid of (always him) or decorating her with all the Christmas present leftovers. Even those who didn't want her in the first place or grew tired of her down the line found some pleasure in her being around. Unlike what the movie says, I don't believe she's in heaven, but that's not important. She was simply another gift God blessed our family with. It will be weird when I head home, and she is not around, but that always comes with any loss no matter how small. The Big Guy will just need someone else to snuggle up with on the floor, which is why he's got grandkids, I guess.

Personal Day

I took a much-needed day off from school on Friday. I entrusted my students to one of the capable substitutes, and headed back to my stopping grounds for an extended weekend. The first stop on my personal day was south Philadelphia. I hadn't seen my sister and niece since Easter, and I was itching to spend a good deal of time enjoying their company (Aaron too, but unfortunately he had to win some bread). Thankfully, Lydia was more than thrilled to see me, despite not having been around me for almost two months. We spent the morning playing with her cups, touring the market, reading books, engaging in a few games of peek-a-boo, and relaxing. This allowed Danielle to get some chores done around the house, and, hopefully, enjoy someone else playing the role of Lydia's personal entertainer.

When she went down for a nap, I enjoyed the blessing of being with my sister. I haven't given a full post on her like I have Rachel, but the blessing she has been to me is just as vital. Once upon a time, I considered us to be the least close of the four siblings (at least in my mind). I had the brother-bond with Ryan, and younger-bond with Rachel, but nothing to fall back on with her. Sure, we got along fine and had fun. However, I can't think of any significant moments with just her and I. Her moving changed that dynamic rather quickly. First it was college, and then to Nashville. Her absence helped me see how I took her close proximity for granted. Over the years many phone calls, emails, and occasional visits have been made. As a result, both she and Aaron have branched out beyond sibling status to close friends. Being older, I seek the wisdom they are willing to provide. God uses them to encourage and challenge me to daily step out in faith. In addition, they are simple folk like me who really enjoy fostering relationships which are genuine and, occasionally, messy. (sorry Danielle I have no pictures with us post-pregnancy since you tend to be the one behind all the photos)

After Danielle and Lydia escorted me to the subway, I embarked on my journey to Citizens Bank Park for a little Phils-Sox Friday-night style. Part of the tickets included getting the opportunity of being on the field during batting practice. It was a great experience just being on the field watching the athletes do what they are good at. One of the first things we got to do when we arrived was meet the Phillies skipper, Charlie Manuel. Now, I like to poke fun at the guy for the way he frequently stumbles over his words. Truth be told, he is a surprisingly cordial man who loves to talk anything baseball. The Big Guy and I obliged him by engaging in a fifteen or so minute conversation about the Phillies and his attempts to lead them to another World Series title. He was genuinely interested in our musings, and I thoroughly enjoyed the brief time.
As batting practice commenced, my favorite Phillie, Shane Victorino, stopped by to sign the young fan's shirt. He needed a marker, so I quickly offered the one Rachel stashed in her purse before we came. As a reward, Shane stopped by to talk with us and sign a couple of things. We got four balls signed as well as Rachel's shirt and my jersey. I know I am 23, almost 24, but there is something kiddish in me that stills enjoys seeing my favorite athletes in person. Now, however, I can enjoy them for what they are: talented men using the gifts God gave them regardless of whether or not they recognize it.

All in all, my first personal day of the year was full of blessing and fun. I got to play uncle, brother, fan, and giddy youngster all in one day. Awesome!

know...how?

I began writing a post last Wednesday after meeting with my band of brothers, but quickly abdicated it due to writer's block. This afternoon the haze lifted after receiving an email from a close friend. The topic of both occurrences centered around knowing God. My band of brothers wanted to know God better in order to understand more of what He says in His Word while my friend wanted to know God in order to become more intimately in love with Him. Both are very God-honoring requests which bring us back to the question, "how do we know God?"

The Bible unfolds a two-part answer to the question: Christ and the Word (but aren't they synonymous?). Yes, the two are in fact one (John 1:1). But even in saying that there is much to unpack. Jesus Christ is the place to start if we want to know God. Why? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father...Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. (John 14:9, 11). Jesus emphatically declared Himself to be one with the Father again and again throughout His earthly ministry. He is where we see the fullest extent of the Father's humility, grace, love, mercy, compassion, wrath, jealousy, glory, holiness, sovereignty, provision (to name a few), and much more to be revealed when He comes again.

Suddenly the question changes to "how can we know Christ?" Unfortunately a lot of people will tell us in order to know Christ fully we must walk in His shoes. While walking in the footsteps is great, it only leaves us with ability to know Christ as our perfect example of how to live this life. A perfect example is not enough for salvation. What we need is atonement before we can even start to dream about living. Thankfully, the Word has been given to us to reveal the Christ who is our atonement which enables us to follow His example. The Bible is where we find all that we need to know about Jesus Christ. You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me. (John 5:39). Genesis through Revelation reveal Jesus Christ. We learn who He is, why He came, what He did, what He is doing, and much more as we work through the pages of the Word of God.

Once again the question morphs; "why do I read the Word of God?" For most of my college career, I read in order to gain biblical knowledge and apply. I mean, isn't application the goal behind reading? Don't I want to see the ways in which God's Word can shape my life (1 Timothy 3:16)? No and yes, respectively. The Bible does have the power to shape and change, but only because it is the very word of the only, true God. The words change us because of the One behind them. Therefore, we should approach the Bible with the intent of learning all we can about our God, first and foremost, and experiencing the truths of what He reveals in our lives. We should want to know Him! The application comes as we know Him more intimately, and then desire to become more like Him. He is faithful to show us Himself if we ask Him to each time we delve into His Word. Living in His presence will show us more than we need to see about ourselves. Our response will be a cry for mercy and the fruits of living for the known God.

the reckoning

I stole this from one of the blogs I currently visit, but I couldn't help it. Andrew Peterson's new single, The Reckoning (How Long), has been released to provide a taste of his new album due out in mid-summer. Over the course of my musings, I have touched on some of his songs given their richness of Scripture and honest emotion. His latest single is no different, and it touches on some of my questions over the past year. It presents the age-old question, "how much longer do we have to wait for the Day of Reckoning?" The song wrestles with the struggles of walking through this sin-encompassed life while clinging to the joy and grace offered through Christ. The questions his lyrics ask are the same ones I pray over on a daily basis. The promises the words bring to light are also the ones God reveals to me in His Word.

I don't have the permission (or technological know-how) to post the song, so I suggest you find it somewhere and give it a listen. To help encourage you, here is a taste of some of the lyrics:

And I know you hear the cries of every soul tonight
You see the teardrops as they roll tonight
Down the faces of saints
Who grow weary and faint in your fields

And the wicked roam the cities and the streets tonight
But when the God of love and thunder speaks tonight
I believe You will come
Your justice be done, but

How long until this curtain is lifted?
How long is this the song that we sing?
How long until the reckoning?

Most recently these words, spoken in many of the Psalms and prophets, have become my words. My classroom, alone, is filled with tears, the reaping of wickedness, loneliness, depression, and much more I am unaware of. By the end of the day I feel weary and faint trying to tackle each one while filling heads with the knowledge deemed necessary. I wish with all my heart that I wouldn't have to muddle through these effects of sin day in and day out. (I have enough of that in my own life). It hurts my students as well as me to see it. I know Christ is coming back to redeem everything to Himself, but it's painful to wait and watch. The only thing I can do is rely on the strength God provides while placing my full trust in His promises. Only then can I endure and be exactly what these students need.

And I am standing in the silence of the reckoning
The storm is past and rest is beckoning
Mighty God, how I fear you
How I long to be near you, O Lord

How long until this burden is lifted?
How long is this the song that we sing?
How long until the reckoning?

And I know that I don’t know what I’m asking
But I long to look you full in the face
I am ready for the reckoning

My hope lies in one day the storms of this life passing and eternal rest being found in the presence of my Savior. I will be near Him, physically, for all of time. My "how longs" will be turned into unending "hallelujahs!" As the old hymns say I will still declare "it is well with my soul" because "Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow." But am I ready for this now? I love Peterson's line about not knowing what he is asking, because none of us do if this is our prayer. We have no idea what the Day of Reckoning will include, only a glimpse. However, we still shouldn't be afraid to ask for it. It's what our regenerated hearts inside us have been screaming for since the day of our salvation.

Happy Mother's Day

To all the mothers; I pray you have a blessed day being honored and appreciated for everything that you do. I especially want to wish a great day to the three mothers closest to me: a seasoned veteran, a 6-"monther", and an expecting. In honor of my mother, I have chosen to post two of the best pictures ever taken of us.

Having had the privilege of learning under her tutelage for both my 4th and 6th grade years, we naturally share a close bond. She is easy to joke and have a good time with while also being very pleasant to talk to. This past year she has truly been a blessing through her insight as a teacher. I have called her many times on my rides home to ask for encouragement and prayer with my students. She listens and offers wisdom thanks to her experiences in the same field. She challenges me to continue praying for my students each and every day regardless of how much I may not like them at the moment. She has labored with me through my first experience as an educator. My struggles this year have brought an unexpected blessing of enriching our relationship (it's funny how God works like that). She isn't perfect, but I know of only One who is. She is worthy to be honored for "she opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue...a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31: 26, 30)
Aren't we just beautiful?

Triathlon fun

Team G4 (G for green and 4 for our lane) competed this past Saturday in Messiah's team triathlon. For two of us, it was our first taste of the triathlon experience while it was one of many for the seasoned veteran.

Given my high school career, I swam the 800 (1/2 mile) while Chad biked the 12.2 miles and Jordan ran the 5k. My goal was to swim my portion in 11 minutes or under. I "trained" for two months (March and April) with a late push the final two weeks prior. My work apparently paid off as I successfully swam a 10:31. I got out of the pool satisfied and feeling rather well. The rest of the morning I spent watching my teammates perform their respective portions of the race.
Special thanks to our honorary coaches, Danny and Jeremy, for cheering us on throughout the morning. Also to the man behind the camera (he chooses to remain nameless) for capturing our new annual event.