new reading

Traditionally, I avoid books pertaining to becoming successful. I guess I view them as "self-help," which I am not a real fan of. I know what happens when I try to help myself in my own strength. I always prefer reading books about biblical truth or ones geared for entertainment.

I picked up Leaders Who Last during my last week in India. I figured I should at least read some material about leadership if I am to faithfully follow God's call into ministry. The author, Dave Kraft, has been involved in training Christian leaders for nearly forty years in addition to serving as a leader at various stops along the way. He says his life's mission is to train effective Christian leaders since most burn out before reaching the end.

The most recent chapter dealt with the issue of leaders needing to be passionate. Kraft observes too many Christian leaders trying to lead void of any passion.

"Passion is contagious. Passion will have more of an impact than personality...[passion is] a genuine joy that flows from a leader in love with Jesus Christ...Passion is a God thing, not a personality thing...different Christian leaders have different combinations of gifts and different personalities, but are all passionate because they are deeply connected with God and his purpose for their lives...Passion needs to be recaptured in all its fullness within the ranks of Christian leadership."

I'm not in a position of leadership at this present juncture. But my prayer is for God to be instilling a passion within my heart for the day He places me in such a position. Christ was a man of great passion. His passion was for the glory of the Father and seeing His will being done on earth. I also pray for all leaders (and all Christians too) to have the passion that is a genuine joy that flows from a leader in love with Jesus Christ.

what we can learn

On the one hand, being surrounded by temples and mosques can be extremely uncomfortable. For me the discomfort had nothing to do with my physical safety. Each and every day I traveled amongst Hindus and Muslims alike exchanging smiles and pleasantries. The only worry I had was for those who might try to clean my pockets without my knowledge.

My discomfort rested in the various practices these two groups engaged in as a part of their worship. It's very different to say the least. Loudspeakers beckon people to come. Chantings can be heard as people pass by. Huge festivals are thrown where all sorts of activities take place. Animals are used for an assortment of different purposes. People dress in the garb of their particular god. It's all very public and unusual for a person such as myself. And along with the discomfort comes a sense of sadness as these people do their best to appease their god and earn his/her favor. If anything it just reiterated why God called me to serve for a time and LCMI permanently.

But I believe a sense of shame and guilt also added to my discomfort. Christianity is all about the freedom we have in Christ because of what He did for us on the cross. Christians love to speak of this freedom when comparing ourselves with the other religions of this world. We sing songs and talk about how Christ's love has freed us from the religious obligations and rituals. And with this freedom we believe we can go about our lives void of any religious responsibility.

Have you ever woken up to the sound of the 5am prayer call from the local mosque? It happens every day. Have you ever traveled to the temple to pray? Most do it every single day. But our response is, "we don't have to do these things because our relationship with God is based upon grace not works." True. But do we want to do such things? Would we ever welcome waking up at 5am to pray to our Father? Do we ever go to church simply to pray, especially during the week? Doing these things doesn't earn us any extra love, but doesn't it express hearts overflowing with gratitude for what God has done for us?

Have you ever had someone identify your faith by merely looking at you? It's a part of their every day life. When people enter your home do they know without a shadow of a doubt just who it is you serve? It's plastered all over their walls. Again our response is, "we don't need to wear anything or post something because God desires our hearts far more than our physical expressions." True. But should we desire these things for our lives? Do we want people to know we belong to Christ just by looking at us? Would we be comfortable with people walking into our homes and immediately identifying God as the source and aim of our worship? Such things won't grant us more blessings, but shouldn't our hearts rejoice at the thought of being identified with Christ in all that we do?

We love to declare religion as empty and void of significance, because it declares works to be the means by which we approach God. While true, this doesn't make the works meaningless and lacking in value to the life of the Christian. If anything we should be eager to perform our works since we were saved unto to them (Ephesians 2:10), and we see our faith proved by them (James 2:26). Daily reading the Bible, daily praying, regularly going to church, giving regularly, fasting, meditating, and the many other disciplines we like to label as "religious" are not necessary for our salvation. Christ is. But they are absolutely essential to our conformity to the likeness of Christ and daily worship of our God who saved us according to His grace.

And if we are here to give glory to God by being more like Christ, shouldn't we be willing and eager to make them a daily and frequent part of our everyday lives?

ah the human body

Over the past two months I tried to do some amounts of exercise. I tried a workout on the roof, but the mosquitoes got the best of me. Sanjay and I went on walks every now and again to maintain blood flow and muscle movement. The girls would play various things in the front of the house, which I would join in when I was home.

I ran the sports camp which gave me some amounts of exercise by means of Frisbee, volleyball, dodge ball (yup no gym class rules in India), and relays.

I played cricket, which, unfortunately, is not too physically strenuous.
We played soccer at times, which, thankfully, was physically strenuous when you play like soccer your father in college.
But even with all that I am terribly out of shape. I meant to get back on my running schedule as soon as I got home, but I lack the discipline. This morning was my first time back on the horse of Saturday morning basketball. I had no lungs, received a dead-leg on my first shot, jammed my finger, took a forearm to the nose, fell down frequently, and demonstrated a lack of playing for the past two months extremely well.

It's good to be home!

to talk or not to talk

Numbers 25 can be a tough passage to swallow. It details Israel's idolatry, God's anger, and one Israelite's decision to openly oppose God's Word in the sight of the the entire nation of Israel. And we haven't even gotten to the hard part yet. The beginning of the chapter ends with Phinehas, Aaron's grandson, driving a spear through the openly rebellious Israelite. As if that isn't hard enough, the second section depicts God blessing Phinehas for doing what he did.

Now I want to be clear I am not advocating any Christian injuring or killing anyone because they fail to honor God. That's called assault/murder. Assault/murder is a sin and a crime. Numbers 25 is not telling us this normal behavior for God's people. Numbers 25 is a depiction of the zeal all God's people should have for His name. Hear what God has to say about Phinehas,

"Phinehas...has turned back my wrath from the people of Israel, in that he was jealous with my jealousy among them...and it shall be to him and to his descendants after him the covenant of a perpetual priesthood, because he was jealous for his God." (vs. 11& 13, emphasis mine)

I've been reflecting of zeal recently in light of the release of certain book from certain well-known pastor and author. I have not read the book. I read multiple reviews of the book, both positive and negative. A friend of mine purchased the book in order to gain a better understanding of this individual's view. I plan on borrowing it once he's finished. But from my research I do know the book presents a serious challenge to the gospel of Jesus Christ in the name of providing "clarity," "understanding," and "conversation."

A lot of people feel the same way about this particular book. It does not hold to the sound words Paul spoke of in I Timothy 6:3, II Timothy 3: 14, and Titus 2:1. As a result, the book has been labeled heretical for it's attempt to strip the cross of Jesus Christ of its significance, power, and beauty by many God fearing individuals.

And, recently, these individuals have received some slack for making such comments. Phrases similar to "God doesn't need us to defend Him" and "we should engage in conversation instead of judgmental statements" are being thrown around like baseballs in Florida. While there are certain instances where these phrases apply, I believe Phinehas teaches us something different.

Yes, God doesn't need us to come running to His defense, but He expects us to stand up for His honor and glory. As far as I am concerned, this book tries to do a great number to the honor and glory of God all in the name of tolerance and conversation. We should be jealous for God's name when people start ruining the gospel of Jesus Christ which is the declaration of just how great God's name truly is. Shrugging it off as something merely a handful believe is not honoring. Do we remember what Christ did because God wasn't being honored in the temple?

And as for engaging in conversation, I have no problem bantering back and forth when it comes to secondary issues. Yes, we should be able to talk with one another over predestination vs. free-will. You can be a Christian while holding to either. We should discuss infant baptism vs. believer's baptism vs. immersion vs. sprinkling. We should peacefully converse the particulars of the faith. But when someone within the faith wants to declare something spoken out against multiple times in God's Word, I don't see a glaring need to sit down and discuss over tea. Paul spoke out often against various individuals proclaiming a different gospel. He did not inquire of a sit-down gathering first. He called them out.

God's name is worth all honor and praise. We should be examining our own efforts to give His name it's proper due. From there we should be jealous for His name as Phinehas was. The exaltation of God's name sent Christ to earth in order to die. What are we willing to do for God's great name besides sing and smile?

yes but...

Human beings love the word but. We use it in productive ways such as drawing a conversation back to its original point or refocusing attention. Unfortunately, it also serves as our way of getting in a last word or adjusting the scales in our favor. Due to the latter usages but can be utterly heart breaking.

In each of the four camps, the primary goal was presenting the gospel clearly. Our hope, as it should be, was for the campers to accept the gospel being presented. Obviously we have no power to do this for anyone, so we rely upon God's Spirit to work in each and every heart. While I do not want to pass over the many God brought unto Himself (each is worth a celebration in heaven), my heart broke at some of the responses.

"I want to accept Christ, but... only if my child is healed...it won't sit well with my family...my friends will make fun...it will anger my god...I have to [fill in the blank]."

Now I don't mean to make light of some of the realities facing these individuals. In a Hindu society threats from family and friends can be terrible. But Jesus spoke to all our buts in Luke 9:62 when He said, no one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.

And His words don't merely apply to all those "riding the fence." Christians love to throw out their fair share of buts as well. Sure, we've placed our faith in Christ. Sure, we love Him. Sure, we do our best to glorify Him in all we do. We just hope and pray He doesn't ask anything more of us. And when He does?

"I would love to, but...I can't afford to right now....I don't really have the time...my plate is already overflowing...I'm not a big fan of being stretched...those are not my gifts...I don't have the necessary funds to make such a commitment...I really don't want to...and the list goes on.

These responses are just as heart wrenching. Christ is not looking for us to join His kingdom only to enjoy the blessings, which are truly wonderful and too many to count. We aren't called to be spoiled princes and princesses. He wants willing servants ready to stand behind to plow and push. Following Christ is a life-encompassing pursuit designed to last all the days of our life. Maybe the world around us is waiting for us to lay aside our buts (the other spelling might apply too) because they want to know if following Christ is really worth losing the things of this world.

song for my theme

I purchased a popular worship song shortly before traveling to India. As I've stated before, I thoroughly enjoy music of all kinds. I wanted something to listen to on my traveling to and fro as well as the down times. Little did I know it would become somewhat of a theme song for my time in India. The song is rather simple, but the God made the truths came emphatically alive as I saw His hand at work.

water you turned into wine, opened the eyes of the blind

there's no one like You, none like You

into the darkness You shine, out of the ashes we rise

there's no one like You, none like You

our God is greater, our God is stronger

God, You are higher then any other

our God is healer, awesome in power

our God, our God

and if our God is for us then who can ever stop us

and if our God is with us then what can stand against

God demonstrated His power, exclusivity, and strength in ways I fail to put into words as I try to share about India. Each was physically demonstrated over and over again for my eyes to witness. As I listen to the song now, tears want to burst from my eyes because I had the blessing of seeing firsthand just how much our God is greater than all others.

But the truth of the song is also my biggest struggle in coming back. Back home it's harder to see God's greatness on clear display outside of my own life and those willing to share how God is working with me. I don't know if it's because we don't really believe, don't want to see, could care less, or are too easily distracted. What I do know is there really is no one like and nothing that can stand against Him.

adjusting

I'm still adjusting to life back home. My body is slowly getting there. There are times when I feel as though I will fall asleep right where I am standing. My stomach also is lagging behind a bit. It likes to tell me I am full when I really am far from it. On the spiritual side I'm in a bit of a daze. I'm still not completely sure how I am supposed to respond to what I experienced. But God is good and by His grace I will be able to communicate everything in time.

Until the aforementioned time I share these random photos which make me laugh as I look at them.

How many times does a vehicle actually ask for you to blow your horn at it? In India, every single truck does just that.

I actually like this photo more than find it humorous. The monument was a few miles from the airport, so planes flew by each nearly every 5 minutes. I wanted to capture a shot before we left, and I got this one on the way out.
I watched this particular hen work its way into room. Then when it got there it just sat down to stare at the bed. It made me laugh so I took at picture.

waking up

Waking up this morning seemed a bit odd. There was no hustle and bustle of three young ladies getting ready for school. There was no cleaning lady sweeping my room (sometimes while I was sleeping). There was no sound of car horns and sellers on their bikes. When I open the front door, the trusty guard (and stray) dog, Brutus (named by yours truly), won't be there to wag his tail while running away from me.

Neither will his loyal sidekick, Double Stuff (Oreo was lacking in creativity), who looks like he could use a good bath and trip to the vet.

It is good to be home. I forgot how much I love a really soft and warm bed. I am looking forward to seeing many friends and family once again. But unlike my trip to Africa in 2007, India became my home to a certain extent. I found myself enjoying the routine I established. I was there long enough for the shock and excitement to wear off. I experienced what many can't experience because their stays are too short. I established familial and friend relationships which used to be a part of my everyday life.

As I move forward in the days ahead, I know I will be back in the swing of things fairly quickly. March Madness will peak my interest along with the coming NBA playoffs and start of the baseball season. I will go to work once again to try and improve my financial status before I start paying new bills for seminary. I will fellowship with friends and family regularly, enjoying every minute of it. But I pray there may still remain a longing for the people God brought so close to my heart over these past few months. I guess I sort of have a taste of Paul's frequent desire to see people, while serving where God placed him. God has placed me here, and here is where I desire to be for as long as God wills. But it doesn't mean my heart won't miss the places where I have been.

the sweetest goodbye

I begin my long trek home at 2:30AM Indian time. My flight to London leaves around 7AM. If all goes according to plan, I should be back in the Commonwealth a little before 10PM Eastern time. It will be a long day of travel and little sleep.

I leave here with a heavy and grateful heart. Heavy as I leave the many wonderful people I have come to love and serve with. Grateful as I look back upon all that God has done in the lives of the people and my own heart. I will not understand the full blessings of this trip until I am long removed from it. But I thank and praise God for each and every moment of it, even the humbling and challenging times.

As I leave I carry with me the prayers of those whom I had the privilege of serving God alongside. They are truly humble servants of God taking their part in seeing God's kingdom grow throughout India.

I also take along the prayers of beautiful family who graciously opened up their home to me these past two months. They are a testimony to God's faithfulness to those who obediently respond to His calling.

There are so many others I will miss as well. Unfortunately, I don't have one large group shot of all of them. They include campers, counselors, pastors, other servants, and many more who God allowed me to work with and minister to. I leave singing the classic song of the faith to close my time in India.

Count your blessings name them one by one

Count your blessings see what God has done

Count your many blessings, name them one by one

Count your many blessings see what God has done!

To God be the glory!

lessons in food

I like to eat. It's one of my favorite past times. I grew to enjoy eating more as I began to cook. I had the opportunity to experiment in creativity because I was the only one eating the finished product.

Coming to India I wanted to walk away with the ability to cook at least one dish for myself. I know I could always go to an Indian restaurant, but I'm cheap. Well I have had the opportunity to watch and take part in a few creations. I'll need to stop by an India food store before creating at home, but I think I should be able to complete them satisfactorily.

I am coming home prepared to recreate two different types of curry (with a potential for one more) and chipatti (pretty much a flour tortilla, but different). I also come home prepared to teach people how to effectively eat with their hands. The locals around here have been impressed with my ability to do so as easily as I do. I just tell them it's like reverting back to my childhood.

Along the way, I have also shared some of my cooking experience as well. Back in February I made pink-vodka sauce with crab meat for dinner when Sanjay and Keren were too busy to cook. It's a staple in Coyle eating folklore, and it has now joined similar ranks with the Dalavai family. Likewise I have shown some of the wonders which can be done with eggs when making an omelet. They were already aware of most, but I gave ideas for ways to add an extra "oomph" when needed.

Last night was most likely the most entertaining food knowledge I dished out. Upon arriving in January, I leaked out my appreciation for the fruit of the sea. I used to dislike sushi, but grew a thorough enjoyment for it in recent years. Well, they wanted to take me to a sushi place before I left in order to introduce them to it.

I ordered 8 spicy tuna rolls and 8 sushi. The sushi had two of each fish: sea bass, tune, salmon, octopus (I didn't want prawns so they gave me this instead). Everybody ate one roll. The girls were not overly enthused, but the older ones ate the entire thing. The sushi was received even less warmly. Only Sanjay and Keren were eager to try. Sanjay liked, while Keren did not. Regardless it was a joy to watch them try and eat the sushi because I felt like it's been what people have been doing with me for two months.

Oh the wonders of food!

intitial thoughts

We, as Christians, have a significant problem when it comes to the news. No, I am not talking about which news source provides the most accurate information. Personally, they are all flawed. I have had conversations with people about the news media which grow heated for reasons I am still not sure of. If I like CNN (which I do) it has no bearing on my spiritual maturation. It does not announce my political affiliations or personal opinions on "hot" issues. It simply expresses my preference for gathering information about the happenings in the world.

Getting back to my original point, Christians (in general) react very poorly to news, especially pertaining to the pain and suffering caused by disasters, natural and man-made. As I read the Japan story yesterday, I found the first reader-posted comment troubling. The individual quoted Matthew 24:7 and left.

Christ did tell us to be ready. He told us to make sure we are not "asleep" when He comes again. What He didn't tell us was to announce to the world "the end is near" every time disaster strikes. It seems as though a lot of Christian responses to Japan and the political unrest in Middle Eastern areas are the same; everything is getting worse and worse so let's just call it as it is.

Where is our compassion? Where is our love for the lost? Where is the hope offered through Jesus Christ? Where is our commitment to prayer?

We have been entrusted with the only good news for those living in this corrupt, broken, and painful world. Declaring the end of all things is not the good news we have been entrusted with. Jesus Christ dying on the cross for our sins is. Him paying the penalty for our sins by absorbing the full cup of God's wrath is. Christ rising again on the third day overthrowing the reign of death is. Placing our faith and trust in these things to receive eternal life, which is our hope as we labor through this life, should be what we are sharing with those hurting.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too."

~2 Corinthians 1:3-5

We have received comfort from the God of all comfort. We should be quick to share it with those around us. For we have been comforted in order to share the comfort we have received with those in need.

king of lizards

It looks like all my Discovery Channel viewing has finally paid off as well as my excursions into the deep forests of Pinebrook Bible Conference as a child.

Is he/she a beaut or what?

Sorry about the blurriness of the picture. We were trying to take it as we rounded a bend. It was taken during our trip to Delhi back in the middle of February. But even with the poor focus, I am quite confident the large object to the left is still visible. It is a 30+ foot high statue of one of the Hindu gods. Prior to this point, I had not seen one larger than roughly five feet. And since coming back I have yet to seen anything close. It reminds me a bit of the large statue Rack, Shack, and Benny (thanks for helping with the spelling Veggie Tales) were commanded to bow down to by Nebbu K (more props to those vegetables). Once the shock of such a large statue wore off I found myself disgusted, but not in a God-honoring manner. My mind thought "who would worship something such as that."

As I have dwelt upon my reaction to the idol and the grandness of it I wish my reaction would have been a bit more appropriate. Yes, the very existence of the idol is an attempted slap in the face of our God. I am not compromising there. It is giving glory where it doesn't belong. God does not look lightly upon it, and neither should we. But my job is not to condemn but pray for God to open their eyes. He will get the glory He deserves in His time.

What I really felt God wanted to challenge me with was my own arrogance. I don't worship physical things. I wish I could say I only worship God. Unfortunately, I (and God much better) know my own heart. My idols are not that large and outspoken. Mine are much smaller and harder to find. They don't like to stand out because when they do I take notice of them. I confess their presence in my life, and I allow God's Spirit to remove them. God used the presence of an idol to reveal the presence of my own idols. I can deny their residence in my heart, but it doesn't get rid of them. Only God's Spirit can do that. And I pray He is doing every single day.

let the children come

I had no control over my camera on Sunday. I gave it to my friend Daya who took shots at will. It wasn't until we were on our way home that I was able to peek at his work. I was hoping he captured a wonderful blessing I received at the conclusion of the service.

After the benediction everyone began greeting those around them and mingling as most do on any given Sunday morning. They sat me on the stage for the whole thing (not where I would have chosen, but it's alright). As I stepped down a handful of people began swarming around me. Naturally I thought it was because of my skin color and being a guest for the morning. When I saw it was a handful of young girls (upper elementary to middle school aged) I figured they wanted to shake my hand, giggle, and go on their way. The camps I attended taught me this is how they warm up to me, at least that's what I tell myself. Well I could not have been proven more wrong.

If you look at the above picture, just think of all the young girls you can see plus two more coming to see me. After shaking my hand (I was right to a degree) each girl asked me to pray for them. With two experiences under my belt I grew accustomed to people coming to be prayed for after the service. This was the first time children were the ones coming forward. Right now exams are running the lives of most students (elementary up through post-graduate). The girls wanted me to pray for the exams facing them as well as God's blessing and strength in their lives. I was more than eager to do so. They knelt down before I started, so I joined them. I thanked them for letting me pray for them as a group of boys filled in the empty spaces they left behind.

I do want to say I love praying with all people, not just children. But there was something about these kids seeking out prayer which stuck with me as I traveled home. Besides my parents, I can't remember asking anyone to prayer for me growing up. Looking back, I wish I had. The children didn't get pushed by their parents or forced because of a sense of duty. They had needs which they wanted prayer for. I even noticed them bounce over to Sanjay after praying with me. We joked about how every child was prayed for at least twice between he and I. But as we joked, I thanked God for showing me how much I don't even ask others to pray for me. Sometimes it's pride while other times embarrassment for what I am asking for. The children in this church didn't care. They wanted God's help and were active about seeking it out as best they could: prayer.

third time's a charm?

I have yet to upload the pictures from yesterday to my computer. Therefore I have no objects for your viewing pleasure. Instead I will have to describe yesterday, and then post pictures at another time. I will not indulge in everything about the experience because the pictures I am thinking about displaying center around what I want to share. Now you have something to look forward to.

Yesterday was my third time sharing God's Word. The first two times went wonderfully well. I felt prepared and excited about the passages God placed upon my heart. The delivery also went off without any glitches. I felt the relay between my interpreter and myself was smooth as well as the natural flow of the message. Afterwards people expressed being encouraged by the Word that was shared. Each time I walked away feeling as though God was honored and the people edified.

I had no such confidence walking into yesterday morning. Whereas my preparation time the first two times was more than adequate, this time around seemed severely lacking. The business of the week piled up quick leaving me less time to plan. By the time I arrived home, my mind and body were too wiped to begin studying. On top of that the passage I originally had planned was leading me nowhere. When Thursday rolled around, I finally scrapped the idea for a new one. Unfortunately, Friday night was the prayer meeting leaving me only Friday (at the office) and Saturday (in the morning). By the grace of God I completed my outline by Saturday evening. I was finished, but was not feeling overly excited about the coming morning.

I slept very little Saturday night. When I am stressed/anxious/worried (which I know I am not supposed to be) my mind won't rest. My body pleads with my mind to let go, but my mind is a very stubborn fellow. This wrestling was my nightly experience my entire senior year of college as I stressed over what God wanted from me upon my leaving. So due to my inability to sleep I spent a good deal of time praying for Sunday's message and anything God brought to my mind (which ended up being a lot). Again by God's grace I was able to fall asleep to such a good extent I slept through my alarm by fifteen minutes. Thankfully I have the "Clark Kent" ability to get myself ready in roughly ten minutes.

We traversed two-plus hours to the local church where I still felt as unprepared as I did the night before. My focus waned during the worship time as I pleaded with God to somehow give me enough material to glorify Him. The sermon itself seemed choppy. My interpreter and I did not appear to be on the same page. The church itself was incredibly warm since the power had gone out leaving fans nonoperational. I actually think I caused some folks to fall asleep under the weight of my sermon and heat. Thankfully it all ended, but not before feeling like I had spoken for an eternity. I realized God spoke to my heart, at the very least, so I was able to worship Him through the rest of the service.

Afterwards I felt discouraged about how I thought the message went. Once again, by God's grace, He showed me something far different. A handful of people approached saying how encouraged and/or blessed they were through my message. Apparently God wanted to use yesterday to teach me an extremely valuable lesson. I am not the one who makes His Word accomplish what it wills. That job belongs to the Holy Spirit alone. Where I thought God's Word was "aided" by me during the last two sermons, God wanted me to see it was His Spirit the entire time. I was just the instrument through which He spoke. It's easy to go into a message relying on God's Spirit, but then myself when it seems to go well. God wanted me to learn relying on His Spirit happens both before, during, and after. It's not a switch I can turn on or off.

such great faithfulness

Last night the LCMI (or JP, for Jeevan Parivarthan, which means "life change" on Indian soil) held an evening of prayer at the church of two of the staff members. The board in Pennsylvania is holding a "day of prayer" for the ministry today (Saturday), and we wanted to join with them for a period of time. Unfortunately Indian Saturdays are extremely busy as people never seem to be around. Seeing as the even was more last minute, we didn't have enough time to make the necessary contacts for people to either show or sign up for a certain time slot. Therefore setting aside a two hour block of time was the best solution. Praise the Lord for the many praying for LCMI today whether as a group or individually at various points throughout the day!

The meeting's turnout was encouraging. Half were either staff, counselors, or pastors who have worked with the ministry in some facet. The other half, thank the Lord, were pastors or other folks interested in learning more about LCMI for the sake of partnering with. Together we prayed for God's hand of blessing to continually be at work in the life of this particular ministry. The staff put together a prayer sheet with various requests about all the needs of the ministry, its staff, and all the people who have been touched by it (campers, parents, and counselors alike). It was a wonderful time of demonstrating our dependence on God to move this ministry where He wants in order for the name of Jesus Christ to be spread and exalted.

Before the time of prayer began, we wanted to acknowledge and praise God for His work thus far (both 2010 and the early parts of 2011). The prayer sheet, a slide show, and songs were shared to highlight just how much God has done. People are learning about salvation through Christ and responding. Physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of children are being met continually. More and more opportunities to minister are presenting themselves.

Prior to the entire event, David uncle (the orchestrator of the evening) asked if I would share a "special song" in the beginning. Now I do tinker around with the guitar, but I stay within my realm of comfort. I rarely learn new chords unless they are unbelievably easy. I use the capo way too much (or at least Jordan says I do) because it makes the songs easier. I also have a strict "I don't play for anyone" policy. It started in college to prevent me from being one of "those" guys who uses the guitar as a means to entice the ladies. Today it's because I am not that good and like to play and sing in private. Originally I planned on declining to the notion of a song. It went against my policy. But during the Special Needs camp, the counselor who usually plays heard me playing and asked me to take over for him because he was tired. Shamefully, I refused, but God convicted me later on to accept any such offers that would come up in the future. And of course God called me to hold up my end of the bargain.

I brought along four songs, but wasn't sure which I would use. I wanted it to be less of a performance because I wanted the attendees to be able to use it as a time of worship through song. Well the guitar was electric (I play acoustic), and there was no capo in sight. Therefore I had to go with the only song I had which did not require one. I kept it very simple, not getting to artistic or crazy. The song is supposed to be slower, which aided my ability to play it at a mediocre level. But as I played, I found myself basking in the truths of the song. I sang it as a song of thanksgiving for what God has been doing in my life just over the past few months. At the very least, I walked away renewed and grateful for the faithfulness of my loving God.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee:

Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,

As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

Summer and winter and spring time and harvest

Sun, moon and stars in their courses above

Join with all nature in manifold witness

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,

Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow

Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy Faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

so many choices

Coming here, I hoped to leave with a clear, ironed-out plan. I wanted God to ignite my passions for one particular avenue. I prayed He would give me a lifelong blueprint for my life of ministry. Well, I got the opposite. Surprisingly I am perfectly fine with that (and I pray I will maintain such an attitude).

God definitely has used my time here to ignite my passions. Only I didn't know how many things He would make me passionate about. First and foremost being His grace. I've written about grace many times, and I thought I understood it well. While I recognize there are still significant aspects of it which I will never comprehend, studying Romans (chapter 6 especially) for my sermon allowed God's Spirit to show me how much I missed the point. But not only did He show me, He graciously impressed a further understanding upon my heart. The hymn really isn't lying.

My heart was not ignited in every area as much as fanned. I love kids. While the office time has been enjoyable, the most joy came while ministering to the children. I started to relearn this at the beginning of the year when I found myself still in the classroom. While teaching academics was not a passion, interacting and building relationships with kids was. Here I got to experience it to a greater degree. I am looking forward to seeing how God will use my passion for kids as I return home.

Teaching the missions and Bible classes fanned my love of teaching. As I prepared for the lessons, I thanked God for the education I received. I had people say my progressions were natural as I moved through the lesson. I felt the children were able to understand and engage. God showed me my travels to get to this point were no accident. My high school years saw me flirt with teaching, college had me learn it, graduation saw me practice it, and now God is showing how to use it to tell people about Him.

Similar, and yet different, preaching intrigues me as well. I love the preparation that goes into it. I find God preaches to me first before I can even begin to think about preaching to anyone else. He used to time to expose my flaws, break me down, and then build me up. As a result, the preaching has a more personal flavor to it. Now I understand every sermon will not go this way solely because my heart will remain hard at various times. But the chance to pour out what God has poured into me is something I am interested in delving further into.

One thing I also learned last year, which I forgot until now was my passion for hurting children. I love all kids. They can be sick, healthy, poor, rich, or anything else. I still find them entertaining to be around and a joy to engage with. My one struggle last year revolved around being powerless within the classroom to help students in agony, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. I didn't get the chance to dive right into meeting such needs here, but simply playing and talking with kids to see them smile made me want to do more. I saw myself get angry at people taking advantage of, neglecting, and abusing them. I shed tears over them because of the pain facing them and the joy they found in Christ.

These are not the only things which God showed to stir my heart. There are others. I know God will continue to change my heart to ignite over other things as well. It's part of our becoming more like Christ. Christ wasn't passionate about one thing. (Well technically He was: the Father's will and glory. But it manifested itself in a multitude of ways like healing, teaching, rebuking, serving, etc.). God may use one of these, all of these, or none of these for the ministry He wants me to serve Him in. I will say it has been a joy to watch God shows me the depths (both good and bad) of my heart over the past two-plus months. I still have just under two weeks left, and God is probably not done with this aspect of my heart just yet. To be honest, I'm a bit excited to see just what He has in store.

sins of the fathers

I am not a husband. I am not a father. I have zero experience when it comes to loving a wife, lovingly raising children, and leading a home. I have strong desires to one day get such a chance should God desire it for me. But I am going to share some thoughts about that which I know nothing about based on experience. However, God's Word trumps experience. In it He tells all men how they are to conduct themselves as husbands and fathers. Therefore while I lack the experience, I am not lacking in the truths God has revealed about the two most important roles any man can have.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
~Ephesians 5:25, 33

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

~Ephesians 6:4

"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

~1 Timothy 5:8

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord"

~Psalm 127:3

"Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful.:

~Song of Solomon 1:15

These are merely a few of the many verses pertaining to husbands and fathers. The last is a reminder of how husbands talk to their wives and pour out their love for them in speech as well as deed. There are other encouragements for husbands in Solomon's book as well, but since this is a family blog I'll leave it to the readers to study those on their own.

My reasoning behind posting the above verses about husbands and fathers has a bit to do with my own desires, but more with some struggles for me as of late. The special needs camp was emotionally rough for me. One father (another showed up later) attended the camp as most are absent in general from the lives of their wives and children. It's very difficult to watch these individuals struggle daily without any support (financial, emotional, physical, spiritual) from those expected to lead their homes.

To top it all off, one of the counselors from the camp entered the hospital last night low on blood. She suffers from anemia, but is severely malnourished as well. Apparently, her father takes just about all of his paycheck to the local bar where he drinks it all away. The mother is left to work a physically strenuous job (which she can't everyday) just to put food on the table. Given her lack of funds, the family (two siblings in addition to the counselor) only eats rice with some chili powder in it. Vegetables, fruits, protein, fat, and other essential nutrients not served at the expense of the father's drinking habits.

While visiting her at the hospital my mind considered the above verses and the numerous men I encountered (through their wives and children) over the past week failing miserably. But the hardest part is how these men aren't even trying to succeed. This is where God's Spirit is teaching me to keep my emotions in check. Feeling angry over the immense pain caused by these men is not wrong (Ephesians 4:26). We just need to be careful that our anger doesn't lead us to sin. My flesh wants the anger to lead towards judgment and slander instead of prayer for these men and their families. My anger should also lead me to praying for all husbands and fathers, both those I know and don't. As Mark Driscoll likes to say, "marriage is for men, not little boys." Unfortunately, many are living as little boys with no clue to the immense responsibility they have to lead their families. Paul's warning in the verse from 1 Timothy is no a laughing matter. My anger must also lead me to evaluate my own life. While I am not a father, I can be instilling healthy practices and habits for when that day comes. Because I do not want to be anything but the man God's Word calls all men to be in relation to Him and the families He blesses them with.