Holy Wednesday

(Jesus' High Priestly Prayer from John 17)

The Mediator

Everlasting Creator-Father,

I have destroyed myself, my nature is defiled, the powers of my soul are degraded; I am vile, miserable, strengthless, but my hope is in thee.

If ever I am saved it will be by goodness undeserved and astonishing, not by mercy alone but by abundant mercy, not by grace but by exceeding riches of grace;

And such thou hast revealed, promised, exemplified in thoughts of peace, not evil.

Thou hast devised means to rescue me from sin's perdition, to restore me to happiness, honour, safety.

I bless thee for the everlasting covenant, for the appointment of a Mediator.

I rejoice that he failed not, nor was discouraged, but accomplished the work thou gavest him to do; and said on the cross, 'It is finished.'

I exult in the thought that thy justice is satisfied, thy truth established, thy law magnified, and a foundation is laid for my hope.

I look to a present and personal interest in Christ and say, Surely he has borne my griefs, carried my sorrows, won my peace, healed my soul.

Justified by his blood I am saved by his life,

Glorifying in his cross I bow to his sceptre,

Having his Spirit I possess his mind.

Lord, grant that my religion may not be occasional and partial, but universal, influential, effective, and may I always continue in thy words as well as thy works, so that I may reach my end in peace.

Holy Tuesday

(based on Jesus washing His disciples' feet)

Humility in Service

Fill me with an over-flowing ocean of compassion, the reign of love my motive, the law of love my rule.
O thou God of all grace, make me more thankful, more humble;
Inspire me with a deep sense of my unworthiness arising from the depravity of my nature, my omitted duties, my unimproved advantages, thy commands violated by me.
With all my calls to gratitude and joy may I remember that I have reason for sorrow and humiliation;
O give me repentance unto life;
Cement my oneness with my blessed Lord, that faith may adhere to him more immovably, that love may entwine itself round him more tightly, that his Spirit may pervade every fibre of my being.
Then send me out to make him known to my fellow-men.

Holy Monday

(Working out of the anointing of Jesus)

The Deeps

Lord Jesus,
Give me a deeper repentance, a horror of sin, a dread of its approach
Help me chastely to flee it, and jealously to resolve that my heart shall be thine alone.
Give me a deeper trust, that I may lose myself to find myself in thee, the ground of my rest, the spring of my being.
Give me a deeper knowledge of thyself as Saviour, Master, Lord, and King.
Give me a deeper power in private prayer, more sweetness in thy Word, more steadfast grip on its truth.
Give me a deeper holiness in speech, thought, action, and let me not seek moral virtue apart from thee.
Plough deep in me, great Lord, heavenly Husbandman, that my being may be a tilled field, the roots of grace spreading far and wide, until thou alone art in me, thy beauty golden like summer harvest, thy fruitfulness as autumn plenty.
I have no Master but thee, no law by thy will, no delight but thyself, no wealth, but that thou givest, no good but that thou blessest, no peace but that thou bestowest.
I am nothing but that thou makest me, I have nothing but that I receive from thee, I can be nothing but that grace adorns me.
Quarry me deep, dear Lord, and then fill me to overflowing with living water.

Holy Week

For Holy Week I am going to try and post meditations/prayers from The Valley of Vision for each day. They are solely for me, but if they are a blessing to you as well then may all praise be to the Father. My desire is for God to lead me to the foot of cross to grieve over the cost of my constant and daily rebellion, yet find grace and forgiveness. From there, I can go out rejoicing in the victorious power of my risen Savior.

Palm Sunday: God Honoured

O God,

Praise waiteth for thee,

and to render it is my noblest exercise;

This is thy due from all thy creatures,

for all thy works display thy attributes

and fulfill thy designs;

The sea, dry land, winter cold, summer heat,

morning light, evening shade are full of thee,

and thou givest me them richly to enjoy.

Thou art King of kings and Lord of lords;

At thy pleasure empires rise and fall;

All thy works praise thee and thy saints bless thee;

Let me be numbered with thy holy ones,

resemble them in character and condition,

sit with them at Jesus' feet.

Writer's block

I have been experimenting with more writing recently as a break from all the reading I typically engage in. While the thoughts seem coherent in my head, they never seem to make it very far on the page. Therefore, I choose to post the lyrics to one of my favorite songs in the history of music. I don't know if it's an old hymn or not, but the people of Indelible Grace (and my sister) who brought it to my attention have done well. I learned to play it on the piano during the immense amount of free time I had last year, and reintroduced myself to it last month. The song best captures a genuine struggle of the soul while reaffirming the promises of God. There is a beautiful blend of intense sorrow and glorious hope in each verse. My writing tends to lean one way or the other. I find it comforting to know while pain is real our God is ready and waiting.

Dear Refuge of my weary soul

On Thee when sorrows rise

On Thee when waves of trouble roll

My fainting hope relies

To Thee I tell each rising grief

For Thou alone canst heal

Thy Word can bring a sweet relief

For every pain I feel

But, Oh, when gloomy doubts prevail

I fear to call Thee mine

The springs of comfort seem to fail

And all my hopes decline

Yet gracious God where shall I flee

Thou art my only Trust

And still my soul would cleave to Thee

Though prostrate in the dust

Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face

And shall seek i in vain

And can the ear of Sovereign Grace

Be deaf when i complain

No still the ear of Sovereign Grace

Attends the mourners prayer

Oh may i ever find access

To breathe my sorrows There

Thy Mercy Seat is open still

Here let my soul retreat

With humble hope attend Thy will

And wait beneath Thy feet

Thy Mercy Seat is open still

Here let my soul retreat

With humble hope attend Thy will

And wait beneath Thy feet

Alright so this isn't exactly what I can see when I look out my window or go outside today. It's a picture from Zion National Park where I went last spring/summer with my brother and sister-in-law. However, the picture could pass off as the first day of spring. The skies are pure blue, clouds nice and fluffy, and green trees begin to show signs of life. While I thoroughly enjoyed the large amounts of snow we received this winter, I am enthusiastic about the spring. There is something special about the warm air and cheerful sounds of the spring. As Solomon said, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1), and that season is spring!

Oh the madness!

Second to the Christmas season (and maybe summer), NCAA March Madness is the most wonderful time of year! I have adopted the wonderfulness into my classroom just to share the beauty. Each child randomly selected 3 teams (evenly distributed by seedings of course) who they will follow over the course of the next two weeks. Hopefully it gives them something else to get excited about besides my teaching. If not, I will at least get the satisfaction of filling out a really large bracket. Awesome!

Be powerless

Given the title, I think it is safe to say any chances I had at motivational speaking are now over. People will not look approvingly upon how viewing ourselves as powerless can be one of the best things we for us. But then again, my aim has never been to motivate people so I should have no problem sleeping at night.

Why would I rejoice in, let alone consider, the idea of being powerless. The reality rests in the fact that powerless is exactly what we are. It is what God's Word (both the Bible and Christ) states as our condition.

"...for apart from me you can do nothing" ~John 15:5

Now here is where the debate begins over what exactly the "nothing" refers to in this verse. True, Christ is talking about our ability to bear fruit of eternal value. Without the working of the Spirit because of what Christ did on the cross, we are incapable of bearing fruit. This is clear throughout Scripture such as Jeremiah's comparison of our righteousness to filthy rags or Paul's rehashing of Old Testament prophets in Romans about no one being righteous. We need Christ to redeem our filth for His glory because all of our attempts have failed miserably.

However, the deeper reality of this verse is that we really can't do anything apart from Christ. John makes is very clear in the first few verses of his gospel that Christ took an active role in creation. He takes it one step further by declaring all creation would cease to exist if Christ was removed from the picture. Apart from Christ (both believers and the lost) nothing is possible. The breath of every living thing is utterly dependent upon Him. We are at His mercy every single moment of every single day. And what should our response be to our dependence upon Christ for both physical and spiritual life? How should we react to our vulnerability and complete powerlessness?

Amen!

Wait, Amen? In a world where I am told to harness the strength existing deep inside of me, how can I embrace my call to be powerless? The answer lies in four humbling verses from the prophet Isaiah to the leaders of Israel,

Shall the axe boast over him who hews it,

or the saw magnify itself against him who wields it?

As if a rod should wield him who lifts it,

or as if a staff should lift him who is not wood! ~Isaiah 10:15

God created us to be the tools, not the ones who use them. Because of this, power only comes to us when we are in His hands. We are only useful as we allow Him to wield us as He wills. Otherwise we are as powerful and useful as a hammer hanging in the shed. Sure, it may look nice and flashy, but it is nothing more than decoration. As we succumb to our pride, we echo the sentiment of the hanging hammer. We are still the climax of God's creation, made in His image, but we have no ability to experience what a image bearer was really created for. Our pride has no power to take us off the shelf in order to start hitting some nails. That can only happen when we humble ourselves enough to let God pick us up and be the one to start swinging. For one, it is what He originally created us for. It also guarantees we will never miss the mark.

Our call is to stop listening to the self-esteem psychobabble our world eats up. I have seen its effects in my classroom. As things start to go well, I listen in to convince myself of how well I am doing, and my head swells with "positive self-esteem." According the God's Word, self esteem is nothing more than pride shed in a positive light (talk about an oxymoron). He has graciously taught me this the hard way. As soon as my head starts to swell, he quickly puts me back on the shelf where I find out exactly how "well" I do there. It's His way of reminder me that self-esteem is disgusting, while Christ-esteem is glorious.

What is love?

This is an article I wrote last week during my "snow" day. My roommate is a part of the leadership team for one of the young adult groups at church, and he wanted something to post on the group's blog. I really enjoyed the entire process of writing it. I wasn't originally going to post it here, but the topic of love came up in a conversation I had with my sister and brother-in-law. Christians are called to love both the family of God and the lost. The problem comes is knowing exactly what it looks like (sorry about the length):

I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Instantly you are thinking one of two things: Valentine’s Day was last month or how much bitterness does this guy have built up? Quickly I want to respond to those two points. First, I know I am two weeks late, but “it’s better late than never,” right? Besides, isn’t love something we should be pouring out 365 days a year? Second, I have no bitterness towards old loves who may or may not have broken my heart. My defense goes back to the first point about making love a priority all year long. However, there is one thing I appreciate about Valentine’s Day. It causes us to take a good look at what it means to love our spouses, families, friends, enemies, and everyone in between.

What is love? According to February 14^th, it means fancy dinners, lavish jewelry, chocolates, cheesy cards, candles, and the like. I’m not “hating” on these things. I really like good food, chocolates, and the occasional tear-jerking greeting card. They are all good ways to express our love for one another, but, in and of themselves, they are not love. In fact, I would argue against many of the things we do in the name of love (thanks Bono). They all have the propensity to scream out “I love you,” but they often fail to live up to the expectations.

In the book the Power of Words and the Wonder of God, Paul Tripp states, “You don’t define love by a set of abstract concepts” (Piper, Taylor, et all, pp. 39). This makes love vague, subjective, and void of any real value. The way I choose to show love can be just as effective as the next person’s method of choice. There is no standard by which we can measure true love. Abstract concepts are the reasons why all sorts of heinous sins are “justified” on the basis of being propelled by love. Just look at the Pharisees in Jesus’ day. He called them “whitewashed sepulchers” for fostering injustice and tyranny all in the name of loving God and His people; “This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me” (Matthew 15:8 ESV). Their attitudes echoed many of ours today. I am permissible to do whatever I want as long as I claim love as my motivation.

Thankfully 1 John 4:7-12 gives us a detailed glimpse into the reality of love. He makes it painstakingly clear exactly what love looks like. However, in our fallen nature, we still have been able to find ways to make love abstract and without meaning. We will proudly quote verse eight, “God is love” to the unsaved around us thinking such a statement places a concrete stamp on love. Are we wrong in claiming God as the very essence of love to be truth? Absolutely not! Where we are wrong is in our break down of who God is in the minds of the lost. To them, He is nothing but an abstract concept. Declaring one abstract concept to be the source of another abstract concept makes as much sense to me as my high school calculus course (let’s just say D is not just the first letter in my name).Our job as ambassadors for Christ, to both our spiritual family and the lost, is to show God’s love as being the most concrete reality on this earth.

This is where we need to read past verse eight of 1 John 4. Here, John drives home the preverbal nail. He leaves no room for abstract concepts because he makes love out to be something far better than words or, even, actions. “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins (v. 9-10 ESV). As Paul Tripp bluntly states, “love is an event, and that event is the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ” (pp. 39 emphasis mine). Every physical and verbal display of love is fueled by the reality of this event.

And what concrete depiction of love does the cross of Christ give us? First, love is a willing sacrifice of self. God gave of Himself by sending Christ into the world. Christ gave of Himself by letting go of His eternal glory (Philippians 2) to become a man. Are we willing to give of ourselves as a reality of our love? Could we sacrifice our own desires for others? Second, love is redemptive. The cross is the story of redemption. God, in love, overcame our mess in order to bring us back to Himself. John called it living through Him. Is our love able to redeem the ugliness of others? Are we willing to swallow our own pride in order to make good out of a bad situation, even when we had nothing to do with it? Third, love does not demand reciprocation. Sure, we serve God as a result of His love for us, but our service is not to pay back what it cost Christ to die. Our service is out of response for the fact that Christ did die. The love of the cross graciously floods others with love without expecting anything in return. Are we willing to love even if it means going unnoticed or being taken advantage of? Do we operate out of a “what have you done for me lately attitude?” Finally, the cross teaches us that love and merit are not synonymous. What is more, love works in spite of merit. Our merit earned us eternal judgment and separation from God (Romans 6:23). But God chose to love us in our sinful state (Romans 5:8) with an everlasting and gracious love. We can live under the peace of knowing that regardless of how much we may have screwed things up, God’s love is greater. How well do we let our love look past the sins of others? Are we able to love someone regardless of the things they have done to us?

Love is not abstract. It is as clear Caribbean waters, visible all the way to the depths. As Paul says in Ephesians 3:18, we can know what love is. To be more specific, we can know “the breadth, and length, and height and depth” of the love of Christ made evident on the cross. So maybe instead of Valentine’s Day being exalted as the day of love, we should replace it with the day when love was made an event. The day when all of history and prophecy reached its climax and God’s voice thundered from the heavens; “This is love!”

O me of little faith

Friends are gifts from God. I think my mom had a picture frame or quilted frame with that exact quote on it. I always found it to be somewhat cheesy. Of course, no one is going to come out say friends are a curse, but aren't friends sometimes more trouble than they are worth? Sadly, I used to be of that mindset. I would listen to my sister and brother-in-law talk about the numerous relationships they established while in Nashville, and how much they would miss them once they moved to wherever God wanted them. While I was happy for them, I did think they were a being a little bit over-the-top about the quantity of quality relationships they had. I mean how many close friends does someone need? Thankfully, God has used this year to remind me of how He created me to be in relationship with other people, not a select few.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the fruits of having a close group of friends in close proximity to me this year. I can get together with them at a moments notice whether for encouragement and/or prayer, or for the purpose of fellowship. It's something I sorely missed having last (no offense mom and dad). I know they have helped me grow in ways I couldn't have imagined, and hopefully I have been able to do the same for them. I am realizing that one of the criticisms I had of my sister and her husband is now one of the aspects I enjoy the most about living where I am.

Recently, I have been able to do a good job of convincing myself how everything I just mentioned is going to change. New relationships forming, marriages happening, jobs switching, and other realities of life have made things somewhat different than they were in the beginning of the year. I have had less time with certain groups of friends, which has brought back some of those lonely feelings I struggled with so often last year. As I have had more time to myself, I have been convincing myself how much things will be different. Being the dramatic person that I am, I was successfully able to say with absolute certainty, "it might be time to start looking for new friends," or "maybe I won't be out here as long as I thought." First off, neither of those are wrong. I should be continually looking to add relationships where I can grow with others. I should also be willing to not be "so grounded" that I refuse to let God be the one leading. However, the framework of these statements says a lot about my trust in God's provision. Truth be told, I think God may be showing me how I still tend to take a blessing of His and elevate it higher than He designed it for

Even in the midst of this lesson, God remains faithful to me. He is showing me how limited my faith is by having the very friends I was convinced would be lost forever pour themselves out to me. Just today alone, I have been invited to play games, eat dinner, eat breakfast, watch Lost, and, even, partake in a team triathlon in May (I would be the swimming leg of course). If that's not a slap in the face of my faith in God and my friends, I am afraid of what might be coming. Sure, the ebbs and flows of life will alter relationships, but our God will sustain them in accordance with His will. My job is to enjoy them for as long as they last by giving God the glory in and through them.