closer to home

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes.

Romans 3:15-18

I've read over these verses nearly one hundred times. Typically I do one of two things with them: examine how my own heart would look awfully similar if not for salvation and the power of the Holy Spirit within me and observe where I see these truths still playing out. God's Word is not ancient. It may have been written thousands of years ago, but the truths are timeless. All people are sinners. They are not all on the same level, because some people are far more evil than others (most of your historic dictators for example). However, we are all evil nonetheless.

Now I can remember losing a number of people in our community over the years. Diseases, accidents, and other tragedies are not foreign. They are one facet of the evil on this earth. They are a result sin's corrupting effect on all life. They aren't easy to deal with either, and I do not want to diminish the pain and sorrow accompanied with these.

But today the horrific evil, which I tend to identify only existing elsewhere, showed up next door. This type of evil goes right back to the verse I listed above. It's the result of a deceitful and sick heart, a lack of fear for God, and feet swift to avoid peace. Tragically, a ten year-old girl was kidnapped, assaulted, murdered, and thrown in a local dumpster last night. Stories such as these are heard throughout this world and equally horrific. But when it moves closer to home it becomes harder to swallow.

Since college my life has almost revolved around kids. I have worked as either a summer camp counselor and swim coach ever since the summer after my freshman year. I taught two years as an elementary school teacher. One of those years was as a substitute locally which frequently brought me to the school of the young girl. I can't say I remember her clearly, but her face seemed familiar even though she was a first grader that year. I went to India to share the good news of Jesus Christ with children of all ages. And now my passion is to work with youth to see them grow in their love for Jesus Christ. Today's tragedy hurts more than any other I have experienced outside my family and sphere of close friends.

I cannot fathom the motive of the individual, nor how a heart could grow that sick. I cannot fathom the pain of the mother, grandmother, relatives, friends, classmates, teachers, and everyone else who knew her. I cannot fathom what this precious one endured when she should have been home eating dinner. I'm grieved and angry. My heart wants justice, but struggles against vengeance. I know the end of the wicked is sure, like Job, my eyes tell me the wicked prosper.

But I (and I pray the family and close friends too) can cling to our God:

• Your God reigns (Isaiah 52:7).
• Behold, to the Lord your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it (Deuteronomy 10:14).
• The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18)
• Behold, I am making all things new (Revelation 21:3-5)

sports radio

*Sorry for the length, I didn't notice until I was finished how long my rant went*

I tune in to sports radio on occasion. It usually happens when a story breaks which I find important or interesting. There are also the times when my Ipod is not playing usually because I am not driving my car (rare) or the radio offers nothing pleasing to my ears (not rare). In these circumstances, I may stop in for a quick listen before moving on. Today, I did just that.

Now I don't want to throw out any names, but the timing of my tuning in could give away the journalist I heard today. But for those who know Philadelphia sports radio, I heard one of the two of the most popular and controversial gentlemen seeing as their programs cross paths for a time. I don't enjoy either of the two for reasons I will keep to myself, and listening in today didn't not help my personal opinions.

Apparently, Phillies pitcher, Roy Oswalt admitted to working heavy machinery during his departure from the team for Mississippi to check in on his community after the heavy storms moved through. He may have also gotten involved in some manual labor, which is never good for people with back problems in their medical history. Anyways, he was recently placed on the DL with back problems after missing a week while tending to his family. But before that news broke out, he admitted baseball was somewhere between points three and four on his priority list. His family occupied the top spot with his community close behind. He confidently stated walking away from baseball would be an easy decision for him should he have to choose.

Given the two pieces of news together, the particular sport's voice decided to get angry at Mr. Oswalt for (essentially) being irresponsible and disrespectful to the Phillies management, team, and fan base. In the gentleman's opinion, Oswalt's leaving was justifiable but he stayed too long, violated his contract, and sent a bad message to fans. In his words, athletes hold special jobs where they are held accountable to fans who pay to see them perform. By messing up his back and claiming the ability to walk away from baseball, Oswalt was not holding up his end of the bargain. Now fans who paid money won't get to see him for at least two weeks. Instead, Oswalt could have gone down to Mississippi, surveyed the damage, and used his millions to pay for the clean-up while he rejoined the team. Getting his hands "dirty" was wrong and irresponsible. He closed his argument by stating how even normal occupations don't let people leave for that long without inquiring some sort of a penalty, especially if they come back worse for the wear.

Simply put, this argument made me mad. First, why do we treat athletes as if they are super-human? And I mean this both in the positive and negative sense. In Oswalt's case, why are we surprised when a husband and father stops entertaining people in order to care for his family? They're human beings not robots. Isn't that what many of us claim is missing in our culture? We want men engaged in their families, just not the ones who happen to be athletes. That makes us suffer. I mean if I don't get my sport's fix, how will I survive?

Second, why do fans act like they own their athletes? Sure they make a lot of money we all wish we could make. And yes, the majority of them spend it like kids at a candy shop. The athletes of the teams I follow do not owe me anything. They don't need to pledge their allegiance to me, win me a championship, or even entertain me. They need to perform to the best of their ability as image bearers of God just like the rest of us.

Third, shouldn't we applaud Oswalt for being willing to sacrifice for the sake of his family? He isn't going to lose millions, but the team is mad and people are questioning his commitment. In essence he will suffer (to an extent) for doing good. 1 Peter talks about this exact issue a lot. Suffering for such causes is praise worthy and honoring to God. Are we willing to do the same especially if our families are suffering?

And my final point, what does our priority list look like? What impressed me even more about Oswalt was the fact that his family was fine. The house had minimal damage, but he stayed behind to help his community. Not only was his family before his profession, but almost everyone else was as well. He talked about visiting neighboring towns to check in on the damage after seeing his town wasn't too heavily damaged. I'm glad he didn't just send money for the mop-up because I think our culture thinks money is always the solution. In times of pain and crisis, financial gifts will be needed and should be joyfully given. But most of the time, those suffering need the physical presence of people who care. They want someone to talk to, hug, cry on, and sit with them. It appears as though Mr. Oswalt did just that.

I don't hate sports. I was bummed when the San Antonio Spurs got beat up by the Memphis Grizzlies. I exuberantly screamed last night when the Detroit Red Wings scored three unanswered goals to stay alive in their series. I am following closely to the NFL labor dispute, because I want to see if Cam Newton is the Panthers answer at quarterback. And I hope Roy Oswalt gets healthy soon because he is fun to watch and an important part to the Phillies hopes of winning. But there is a serious problem; we do worship our teams and athletes as gods. We pledge our undying devotion to them, hand over fork-loads of money, and sacrifice a lot (health and wealth) to see them succeed. And when they "fail us," we get angry with them for not giving us what we want or think we deserve.

For some reason, I feel the stories in the Bible are not as ancient and disconnected as we try to make them.

mothers

For all mom's both young and old,

We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers.

1 Thessalonians 1:2

Thanks for all you faithfully do for your husbands and children. I pray your devoted service is not neglected here, but rest assured it is valued by our Father in heaven.

Happy Mother's Day!

sin of idolatry

I have 2 1/2 chapters remaining in Doctrine, What Christians Should Believe. It is significantly shorter than the longest book I have ever read, but my progress through it has been staggered. It's been on my "in the midst of reading" shelf for more than six months. At least ten books have come and gone from when I started until now. It's not that I find it boring or uninteresting. It's merely a slower-paced read considering the heaviness of the subject matter: every single primary issue concerning Christianity.

The chapter I find myself working through revolves around the idea of worship, particularly what it is and why it is necessary. They quote Harold Best's definition of worship to frame the rest of the chapter; worship is the continuous outpouring of all that I am, all that I do and all that I can ever become in light of a chosen or choosing god (pp. 340). As you can see, the definition isn't geared completely towards the worship of God, and that's intentional.

Every human being on earth has two options placed before them: worship or idolatry. True worship takes the above quote and places the triune God of the Bible at the end. Idolatry takes the above quote and places everything else at the end. True worship is beautiful, while idolatry is horrific. Either way all human beings are worshiping something or someone.

Now Christians (myself included) can easily read the definition with approval because we go to church, read God's Word, pray, serve, and, in general, live lives which physically carry an expression of our worship. But God repeatedly tells His people, worship is a matter of the heart. The outward can deceive man easily. God, on the other hand, plants His gaze upon our hearts. And our hearts are where idolatry feeds and grows.

Doctrine quotes an exposition of Luther about the worship verses idolatry. It's rather tough to read, but an honest barometer of how whether we worship the true God or commit idolatry with worthless idols.

"...to have a god is to have something in which the heart entirely trusts...Thus it is with all idolatry; for it consists not merely in erecting an image and worshiping it, but rather in the heart...Ask and examine you heart diligently, and you will find whether it cleaves to God alone or not. If you have a heart that can expect nothing of Him but what is good, especially in want and distress, and that, moreover, renounces and forsakes everything that is not God, then you have the only true God. If, on the contrary, it cleaves to anything else, of which it expects more good and help than of God, and does not take refuge in Him, but in adversity flees from Him, then you have an idol, another god. (pp.346)

suppressing the truth

It seems as though I am in the midst of a sin kick. By kick I am not referring to an increased desire for sin (by God's grace), but a greater awareness and Spirit-induced exposing of indwelling sin. It also helps when Romans is the particular book I am in the midst of studying. It's hard to read it without coming away with a deeper sense of just how sinful I am.

And yet telling me the extent of my sin is not the end. I am clearly told what my sin is, and it's embarrassing to say the least. Romans 1:18 says, "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth."

Obviously, my sin warrant God's wrath. There is no denying this when you read through the pages of Scripture. Recently I have read multiple "biblical scholars" try to remove God's wrath and eternal punishment with an argument overflowing with spiritual arrogance. They claim sin in this life cannot be counted against us for all of eternity. For them life is too short for our mistakes to damn us away from God's presence forever. And at times, my life mimics these outrageous claims. Thankfully, Romans 1:18 stands in direct opposition to them. Our sin in this life more than warrants our forever separation from God and bearing His holy and just wrath.

And why is this so? According to Paul it's because my sin is a blatant attempt to suppress the truth. I take what creation, my conscience, and God's Word reveal about Him and tell the world it isn't true. It's my act of rebellion where I declare God a liar. And just what truths does my sin suppress? Technically all of them, but I'll just name a few for the sake of time and space.

• God is wrathful (v.18)
• God is holy (v.18)
• God is righteous (v.18)
• God is knowable (v.19)
• God is a God of revelation (v.19)
• God is powerful (v.20)
• God is God, the One and only (v.20)
• God is Creator (v.20)
• God is honorable (v.21)
• God is worthy of thanks (v.21)
• God is immortal (v.23)
• God is glorious (v.23)
• God is truth (v.24)
• God is to be worshiped (v.25)
• God is to be served (v.25)
• God is blessed (v.25)

Am I comfortable responding with a loud "liar!" (which is what my sin is) to these truths? Do I have the fortitude to tell God He is overreacting to my sin? Do I really think "I only suppressed the truth during my short stay on earth" will hold sway when I stand before God, if I am even able to stand? Why is it when people such as Isaiah and Peter fell down at the feet of Jesus when they saw their sin compared to His glory?

These are the questions God's Spirit has been stirring up in my heart. He wants me to grasp the full severity of my sin, in both the physical and spiritual realms. I am not merely slipping up or making mistakes. I am actively suppressing the truths of God. There is no escaping it. This is the reason why He tells us to respond to sin by turning from it and back to God (repentance).

And here is where while the kick is more than uncomfortable at times, it helps unearth just how amazing God's grace truly is. Despite the blasphemous claims my sin makes, God still openly extends His forgiveness to me. He doesn't toss me aside, but remains close through Christ. He shows me a fuller extent of the truth behind who He is.

unforgettable (but is that a good thing?)

On Sunday night/Monday morning I was in the crowd at the 14-inning marathon between the Mets and Phillies. For those who haven't heard, this particular crowd made headlines for their reaction to the news of Osama bin Laden's assassination. Chants of "USA! USA!" went on for nearly an inning, and intermittently afterward. I re-watched the television account, and I don't believe it did justice to the cheers. The loudest the crowd got was in between innings when the entire stadium finally hit the same notes. I am not going to go into a long response or argument, but simply share some reactions to the evening.

• I doubt I will ever forget last night. It is one of those "where were you?" moments people love to talk about years later. To be honest, I felt goosebumps when the crowd finally got in unison. It was something to witness.
• It's amazing how quickly we can turn off meaningless animosity towards one another, only to turn it back on even quicker. Fans from the two sides don't like each other. I can remember a game I went to in college where I shamefully joined in the open (by verbal means) animosity (my brother still gives me grief about it to this day). But as the news broke out, people pushed aside the petty (and sports allegiances, while not bad, are about as meaningless as you can get) to grasp hold of something larger. Unfortunately, the next time the teams face off fans will be beating one another's faces in, cursing back and forth, and spewing border-line hatred all because of a difference in team preference.
• The Mets handled the situation with class, while the Phillies were an embarrassment to their fans (never though I would see the day). Neither side knew what was happening until after the game. The Met players praised the crowd for cheering and even wished the game had stopped to commemorate the moment. The Phillie players (for the most part) acted like it was no big deal. Some even went on to acknowledge the failures of the Phillies offense as a more pressing issue at the time. Really? I love sports. I really do. But when does a game ever outweigh what happens in real life? Sports are never primary, and maybe we should stop treating our teams and athletes like they are.
• To be honest, I wasn't sure how to react. To an extent I joined in the jubilation. A chief enemy to the sanctity of all human life and holiness of God was removed from his position of power. Justice, which will be perfected upon Christ's return, was done. Governments are placed upon this earth by God. He grants them the authority they have. They administer justice and sometimes justice comes by means of the sword (Romans 13:4). It was also hard not to relish in the feeling of unity sweeping through the stadium. And yet, I held back from sharing the full jubilation. While I believe justice was done, it doesn't give me the liberty to rejoice over the death of anyone, regardless of my opinion of them. God desires for repentance, not death (Ezekiel 18:23). This doesn't mean God won't bring about the death of certain people (Sodom and Gomorrah or Ananias and Sapphira) immediately for their sins as means of His justice. But it also doesn't mean I can rejoice in the death of the individuals. I doubt Abraham and Peter did when they saw God's mighty hand of justice and wrath. They rejoiced in the removal of evil by God's gracious hand, but not in the losing of a soul. Instead they trusted His will as sovereign and good. And that is what I can rejoice in always.
• Somewhat unrelated but I don't know how I feel about "God Bless America" being sung at sporting events. And after hearing an famous artist sing "How Great Thou Art" at a country music show, I feel more uncomfortable. I say this very carefully for two reasons. First, I have no business questioning the motives of the artist singing the songs because, for all I know, they may treat it as worship to our God. Second, I will admit that last night the rendition was truly beautiful and fitting for the news which would come later on. But I still can't help but question our motives for singing such songs. For the most part, our country has done everything within its power to remove God from this land. The people (both in power and out of it) want almost nothing to do with Him. As we discussed in Sunday School, people want to reject the face of God, but still receive the hand of God. We want all the blessings without any of the implications of following Him. We want a genie, not the living God. If I am truly honest with myself, there are times where I am no different from our nation. I pray without ceasing for God's hand of blessing without any regards for praying to see His face so I can better serve and worship Him. When I am calling out my country, I am really calling out myself first, understanding my own heart needs drastic change before I can even dream about seeing it "out there."

muffins and cookies

Two favorite books from my childhood revolve around woodland creatures and baked goods. Since becoming an uncle I have had the privilege of reacquainting myself with them when I am with my niece and/or nephew. As a result, I have learned If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and If You Give a Moose a Muffin are far truer than the author probably intended.

For those unfamiliar with these literary works (and I think there is at least one more book with the same basic story) the story is a warning. In the case of the mouse, once he has a cookie he will certainly want milk as well. From there he will want to do other things such as get a haircut, take a nap, and draw pictures to name a few. In the end, he will come back to the cookie starting the cycle again.

In the case of the moose, once he has the muffin he will certainly want jam as well. From there he will want things such as a sweater, a knitting kit, and art supplies to name a few. In the end, he will be reminded of how much he wants a muffin bringing everything full circle.

In a nutshell, these books are excellent examples of my sin. At first I only want a muffin or a cookie. It's nothing drastic, just a small taste to feed my appetite. However, once I get it I am not satisfied. The object was only fulfilling while the sweetness attacked my taste buds. Therefore I go searching for something to go with it. When I get whatever it is, I find the sweetness only lasting a short while. Eventually I am running around like the mouse/moose trying anything and everything to satisfy my desire. With each and every item my dissatisfaction grows and grows instead of dwindling. In the end, I end up back where I started without any sense of satisfaction and a greater hunger than before. Where I thought giving in here and there would help quiet my appetite, it actually made it grow screaming louder and louder.

James spoke of this in the first chapter of his book. "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death" (vs.14-15).

Giving in to our desires does not help solve the problem. It actually makes it a lot worse and more difficult to overcome. It's like eating the first Lays potato chip, when we know it's impossible to eat only one. It's the first step down a very steep and slippery slope.

For this reason, God's Word emphatically warns Christ's followers of the dangers of our sin. They aren't little hiccups, but attempts by our enemy to destroy us. They aren't merely typos we can go back and delete later on. They are traps meant to start the cycle addressed in James 1:14-15. They are meant to be the small pebble tossed harmlessly into the serene pool.

Let us be wise then and heed the advice of God's Word. When it comes to sin we are to: turn from it (Psalm 34:14), hate it (Psalm 97:10; 119:104), keep it from our eyes (Psalm 101:3), abhor it (Romans 12:9), flee it (1 Corinthians 6:18; 10:14; 2 Timothy 2:22), put it off (Ephesians 4:22), not let it be named among us (Ephesians 5:3), stand against it (Ephesians 6:10-20), put it to death (Colossians 3:5), have nothing to do with it (2 Timothy 2:23), lay it aside (Hebrews 12:1), resist it (James 4:7), don't conform to it (1 Peter 1:14), put it away (1 Peter 2:1), abstain from it (1 Peter 2:11).

And these are merely a handful.