Merry Christmas

Veiled in flesh the God-head see

Hail the incarnate deity

Pleased as man with man to dwell

Jesus our Emmanuel

Hark the herald angels sing

Glory to the new born King!

I pray you all enjoy celebrating the day with family and friends.

a new lesson

The school year is not quite halfway through, but the Christmas break provides an excellent time for reflection. It has been a trying first year with numerous ups and downs within the same week. I have been brought a long way since school started on August 31, and I know there is still a long way to go. I am excited to see God's hand of grace continue to work in the lives of my students and me. The glimpses I have seen leave me with nothing but awe and gratefulness for God's faithfulness. My biggest lessons thus far have definitely been patience and love. They typically go hand-in-hand which has been a tough thing for me to grapple with. I either feel as though I am loving my students but lacking in patience or being patient with them but lacking genuine love. As we reach this point in the school year, the Spirit has done a marvelous work in my life, but the work is nowhere near complete. There is ample room for growth in making my love mimic the radical love that joyfully drove Christ to the cross.

Just this week, however, I received a glimpse of the next lesson God has in store for me, more specifically my love. It stems from Romans 12:9 where Paul says, "hate what is evil, cling to what is good." Hating what is evil brought to mind "Hosanna" by Hillsong where the refrain reads, "...show me how to love like you have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks yours..." To be honest, I can hate evil as well as the next guy. I'm not saying I am perfect, but that I have learned to hate the sin still prevalent in my life. I also do a good job of hating the sin in the lives of others (sometimes too good of a job). This is where I need to allow my heart to start breaking.

Sin breaks the heart of God as much as it invokes His righteous anger. As a Father, He daily watches His children leave what is good and true for things that can never satisfy. I am not a father, but, knowing my own, I can imagine the devastation this attitude can bring. God wants the best for His children, and His heart breaks as they decline His offer. This is the attitude I need to put on display for my students. Yes, they are not my children, and I don't want them to be. However, my initial reaction to their mistakes should not be anger and frustration, but a broken heart. My desire should be to see them live as God originally intended them to and grieve when they fail. This will not only keep a proper perspective on God, but also keep me much more patient and compassionate. And these two qualities are what most of my students long for because they have never tasted it; the salt of Christ.

Is it really better to give than to receive?

That saying gets thrown around a lot this time of year. Parents quote it to their children, pastors to their flocks, and everyone else to anybody they come in contact with. I was indoctrinated into it at an early age, but never really believed it. This week changed all that.

On Sunday, our youth group had the privilege of taking gifts and other necessities to local families in need. The senior class raised the money, and then designated how they were going to spend it. A friend and I took a group of excited high schoolers to two locations. The first was a sister of the youth worker in the church who we were told, "could care less about anything having to do with God." We disclosed our purpose for being at her doorstep, and she gracefully took our gift. She then asked if we were also caroling, to which I said "absolutely!" We asked for a request from her because we wanted it to bless her more than it would us. Surprisingly chose O Holy Night, which happens to be one of my favorites. The range gets a little heavy, but my years of choir came flooding back. We sang the best I have ever heard a group of high schoolers plus two leaders sing. Her face beamed with joy as we moved on to our next location. Unfortunately, this particularly family wasn't home at the time so we did not get to experience their jubilation. However, having been warned of their situation it brought joy to know that it would be there waiting for them when they returned home.

Last night, my band of brothers (our fancy name for our Bible Study) and I helped out underprivileged families in my school district. Earlier in the fall, we were looking for ways to reach out a helping hand as an act of service and demonstration of our love for Christ. I checked out a program in my school where food and other necessities are donated to poorer families. We offered a donation as well as our time when the boxes needed to be delivered. At the end of the school day, the woman runner the program asked if I could get my buddies to deliver that night. I squirmed, but told her I would make a few phone calls. When all was said and done, five of us loaded three cars with fifteen or so boxes of food. With only a limited knowledge of the area (me), a TomTom (Danny and Chad), and intuition (Jordan and Ryan) we took off. While the locations were vastly different, our experiences were the same. Families were bringing out every member to greet us. With smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes, they expressed heartfelt gratitude. God was gracious enough to allow me to visit three of my students, which was more of a blessing to me than it was to them. It gave me a deeper understanding of what circumstances my students are dealing with as well as a more genuine love for them. It was at those houses where I left with tears in my eyes. To top it all off, one of the students ran up to me at school today saying, "thanks for bringing us the food last night."

Now I would love to say I will be content from this point forward, but I am not that naive. Instead, I will simply say it truly is better to give than to receive. For even when we give, God graciously allows us to receive blessings from Him.

Sounds of the season

I am fairly open about my love of music. Silence is not typically a friend I want to spend a significant amount of time with. Whenever I know an extended period of "quiet" time is drawing near I find music to fill the void. In college I avoided the library for that very reason. Why would I search out a place where the very purpose of it is to drown out all surrounding noises? That is just sheer torture! My rambling tangent aside, the Christmas season only intensifies my infatuation. I can listen to nearly any genre of music during Christmas, even country (if done well). Christmas is the only valid excuse I have to listen to music nearly 24/7. It's awesome!

My elder sister graciously shared a few seasonal selections with me over Thanksgiving, which I quickly gobbled up. I have been joyously listening to them for the past two weeks. However, three albums can only go so far. Plus, my collection has been exhausted to the point where I can only use it as a change of pace. I needed something more to satisfy the hunger in my ears for more Christmas music.

Once again my sister came to my rescue, only she doesn't know it yet. I was "stalking" (You can try to use any other adjective to tone down the true purpose of Facebook, but I am humble enough to admit the truth.) her on the aforementioned social networking system when I saw her friend mention Pandora for Christmas music. To be honest, I always held out against Pandora because I was afraid I might find new artists I couldn't say no to when it comes to purchasing their music. It's not that I don't want to make the purchase as much as it is I really should put the money elsewhere at this point.

Too make a long story short, I experimented with Pandora...and got hooked! The Christmas possibilities are endless! I have listened all this week, and have yet to skim the surface of all the Christmas tunes there are to hear. I am either singing my heart out along with the classics or listening with a smile on my face to new friends. I don't know what I am going to do when Christmas passes, but for now I couldn't care less.

God with us

Given the glorious season that is upon us, you will hear the name Emmanuel significantly more than usual. It was the name given to Christ in Isaiah and fulfilled when He "became flesh and dwelt among us" (John 1:14). As a kid, I remember singing a lot of songs mentioning Christ as Emmanuel. These were both songs of the Christmas and traditional/weekly worship varieties. I never really gave any thought to the name besides Christ entering into our world as a man. (And I don't mean to diminish the miracle of the incarnation by any stretch of the imagination. Redemption doesn't happen without it!) The name seemed only to bring meaning around Christmas when we focused on the incarnation in the nativity scene. At that point in time, God entered the realm of the finite to make His dwelling amongst His creation. Emmanuel was now a reality.

What I always failed to comprehend about Jesus as Emmanuel was the lasting effect of "God with us." Yes, two thousand years ago God was with us in the flesh. (How awesome/scary/humbling must that have been for His family, disciples, and anyone else who saw Him?) Today that is not the case. I am not typing this with a physical Jesus sitting next to me. However, the implication of Emmanuel goes much deeper than the physical presence of God. Through Christ, God could now reside inside the hearts of all who called upon His name.

At first glance, that seems less flashy than God actually being physically present with us. I mean look at all the things Christ did while He was on the earth! However, His presence on the earth was not enough to fix the epidemic of sin. The real problem was that God, because of His holy and righteous nature, could not be with us. (Read Romans to get the fuller picture and explanation.) Sure, in Christ, He could be in our physical presence, but we still had no part with Him. Christ, Emmanuel, made it possible for us to be with God. He bridged the immeasurable and uncrossable gap sin had placed between Creator and His creation. He fashioned our hearts into living temples of the Most High God. Christ was/is the means by which "Emmanuel" can be accomplished.

I love the nativity scenes commemorating when Emmanuel was in our midst. They are even better when I remember how and why Emmanuel left our midst, but remains Emmanuel today.

full of thanks

I forgot to post an official Thanksgiving greeting yesterday because my day was rather full and busy. I do not have enough room or words to write down all that I am thankful for. Plus, it would get real boring rather quickly. Instead, I will show you my favorite thing about my break thus far. Spending time, yesterday, with my entire family is a close second as I always enjoy being with them wherever and whenever. However, the addition of the 5th lady in my life (mom and 3 sisters being the other 4 as of right now) propels this event to the top. It doesn't seem like much, but I had a blast. At first, I was afraid I stole her daddy's thunder. He quickly reassured me that this was not the case (I saw a picture later on, and she does seem much more content with him, as she should). So I will simply cherish my new role as uncle, and add it to the blessings of being a son, brother, friend, teacher, and whatever else God has planned for me.

more musical musings

A few posts ago I confessed my love of music and its ability to sum up life at any given moment. Last night I got to experience this reality once again. Given the short week due to Thanksgiving, I stayed at school later than normal in order to get as much work done as possible. The school day itself was long and frustrating, so working late was not the most enjoyable thing I could have imagined. On the ride home, I threw on my Worship playlist like I do most days only this time something seemed different. I don't know if it was the darkness of the evening, my being tired, or a desire to find peace where I know it exists but I was listening (and singing of course) with a waiting expectancy. It was as if I knew God would speak to me as I sat alone on my drive home. I had no idea what it would be until "The Desert Song" by Hillsong was nearing its interlude (for those who don't know I am currently on a Hillsong kick, and highly recommend them). The overall truth of the song fits my classroom struggles, but this part hit the "nail on the head."

"All of my life

In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship."

As I embark upon my first significant break of the year I recognize the many seasons I have experienced thus far. In general, it has been a season of struggle and hardship, intermixed with joy and encouragement. The song reminded me how well I worship during the easy times, and how poorly I sing during the struggles. It's not a problem specific to me, but most Christians. We find it easy to bring praise when things seem praiseworthy, but nearly impossible when things are unpleasant. There is a truth that we can find cling to in both situations. The very fact that God's sovereignty and lordship are never affected by the ups and downs of my life is some of the best news imaginable. It reminds us why He is God and we are not. Nothing in this life, good or bad, diminishes His status as Lord and King. This gives us a comfort and place of shelter to run to when we grow weary. As the song says, it gives us a reason to sing and worship regardless of our current situation. I am slowly learning to cherish this truth in my own life. It is a truth full of blessings when we let it sink in, especially when times are tough.

say uncle...

Seriously! I have joined the ranks. My day went from good to great in a matter of minutes with this announcement. My sister and brother-in-law welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world this morning. Unfortunately, I will not get to officially introduce her to Uncle Derek until next week, but I couldn't be more excited! I look forward to the years of spoiling her rotten (without the knowledge of her parents of course), and teaching her all the wisdom I have gained over the years (and boy do I have a lot). In all seriousness, I am overflowing with joy at seeing the faithful hand of God at work in my family. We have had our fair share of ups and downs, but God has pulled us through each time. He has remained faithful, even when we were faithless. This day has been a long time coming, especially for the happy parents. My joy intensified as I listened to Aaron show her off to me over the phone with Danielle chiming "good girl" in the background. You might not find two happier worshipers than these two right now. What is more, I think of them raising this beautiful girl to fall in love with Jesus Christ, the lover of her soul.

a letter of encouragement...literally

At the end of another chaotic day in Mr. Coyle's neighborhood, I went to my school mailbox to retrieve any notes with my name on them. There was the typical teacher magazine, lunch money notes, and other odds'n'ends. However, at the bottom was a letter from a lady living in Susquehanna township (for her sake, I will refrain from revealing her name). I have never met this lady, but, after today, I would certainly like to. She introduced the letter by telling how she read about my hiring in the township newsletter. She saw I graduated from Messiah college and took a leap of faith. This leap of faith was God reminding me, once again, that He is a faithful, loving, compassionate, and gracious God.

"He (God) has called me to commit to pray regularly for you throughout this school year...My initial prayers have been centered on your personal relationship with Him-that you would be growing stronger and deeper as a Christian...I will continue to pray for you and your class during the year as God leads me. However, if you have a specific need, request, or praise that you would like to share with me, feel free to get in touch with me..."

To be honest, I am still in speechless awe of our God. My heart is in a hybrid state of amazement/shame. The amazement is in the sheer idea a stranger writing me a letter to express her desire to pray for my students and me (and boy do we need it!). In addition, God is showing me that despite how much bigger He is than my petty struggles, He still actively cares for them. The shame stems from my lack of trust in God to provide me with the comfort and encouragement I need. Also, what would it take for me to take similar leap of faith to encourage a believer I have never met? Again, speechless. My ultimate response was this: praise of the Father through thanking my new friend. In my email back to her, I simply told her (in these exact and more words, of course) what Paul said to the church in Philippi;

"I thank my God every time I remember you" (Philippians 1:3)*

*This verse also applies to all those who are diligently bearing me up before the throne of grace each and every day; I truly covet your prayers.

the theme of my song

For those of you who don't know, I love music. I love the sounds, blends, lyrics, voices, and everything else. I a firm believer that good music can make a mediocre movie/TV show good, and a good one great. It is why I love Scrubs as much as I do. The show probably isn't the best ever, but the music does such a good job of capturing the emotions of the moment. Music has the ability to say a ton, sometimes without using any words.

I always play my iPod on shuffle. I like the level of surprise that comes with listening to things at random or out of order. Now this doesn't mean I never skip songs to get to one I like, but there's nothing wrong with dictating every now and then. I especially like shuffling when I listen to worship music. For some reason (though we all know the real reason), I always hear a song that fits right into something I read in the Bible or some issue I struggle with. The song will either encourage or challenge me depending on what I am in need of most. Yesterday, I was driving home from another tough day where my joy was waning, when the song "Closer to You" by Mark Schultz flooded from my speakers. To be perfectly honest, I want this song to be played/sung at my funeral. The entirety of it fits better for that occasion, but the first verse was for my (not a typo) here and now;

Closer to me I'm tired and I'm weak
Every breath within me is longing just to be
Closer to You
So I face the road ahead
Cause I know there's no comparing
To what's waiting at the end

So let the rain start falling where it will
And I will run through this valley
Just to climb to that hill
And if they ask why I'm smiling
After all I've been through
It's cause I'm just a day closer to You

If you think I am saying how ready I am to be taken away you would be right. But that does not make the thought morbid or depressing. In fact, it is one source of the Christian's joy. Because each day we finish here is one day closer to us receiving our True Love and heart's deepest desire, we can find joy no matter how horrible the things around us are. It doesn't mean I walk around waiting to be taken away for that would be abdicating my responsibility as an ambassador of Christ. It simply means holding eternity in plain sight as I struggle to make a difference in the world through the good news of the gospel.

i've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart...where?

As a child, this song was a personal favorite of mine. You couldn't really sing it without smiling, laughing, or somehow putting the wondrous joy on display. Plus, there were a bunch of other verses to add, which made the joy last longer than your usual song. People of all ages knew the song and would sing it like they were a child once again. No matter what season the church found itself, everyone could always dig down deep and find the joy to help sing. Unfortunately, it hasn't been working for me.

It would be an outright lie if I said my life is just overflowing with joy. At this moment in time, joy is one of the desirable things I have having trouble finding. It is not a case where I am not looking for it, though it might be where I am looking that is the problem. To me, my classroom appears to be a place of constant chaos. Even when we experience small victories, they are quickly outdone by larger defeats. Aside from my feelings of failure, I am overcome with a sense of depression and sorrow. At the end of the day, my energy and patience are spent to the point of exhaustion. With this lack of energy (both physical and spiritual), joy is nothing more than an enigma. I can search the ends of the earth for it, but I will never grab hold of it.

Our God tells us a different story. It is one that humbles me whenever I read it, because it puts my faith and trust on trial. It is the story of Jesus Christ. I won't go into details, but I will tell it the way Hebrews does in Chapter 12;

"looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" (v.2)

Jesus found joy in going to the cross! This is revolutionary and altogether humbling. I know the reason behind the joy was the Father's glory in the salvation of sinners, but it doesn't diminish His joy while living through the pain. I can't find joy in something I where I don't know whether the outcome will be favorable or not. Christ knew the outcome would be horrible (the worst torture a man can be put through), and yet He found joy in the midst of it. This puts my trust in God to shame. I doubt His ability to fill me with the joy I need to make it through, when I have the ultimate test of His faithfulness right in front of me. I guess the real solution lies in the first phrase of Hebrews 12, "looking to Jesus."

every man's need

"Man2Man" was the title of the sermon I listened to during the worship service on this beautiful fall morning. As you can probably guess, it was directed towards the men in the congregation though it was entirely applicable to the women as well.

The pastor wanted to address a growing problem with the men in our day. It is a problem I stare in the face every single day with my students, particularly the gentlemen. For a variety of reasons our world lacks strong, masculine, and Godly men. Too many husbands and fathers abdicate their responsibilities for the meaningless pleasures of this life without any regards for the havoc it is reeking upon families. Most of the boys in my classroom are absent of fathers or have had such a bad experience with theirs that the thought of any male authority figure is repulsive to them. Unfortunately, this problem infects the church as well as the culture around us. Christian men shy away from their responsibilities in the home and church. Our children know nothing about the God we serve and what Christ has done to enable us to serve. We have failed to live out Deuteronomy 6 in our families. As a result, children play the "God-game" as long as they live with their parents, but quickly abandon it when they move out. The sermon challenged the men to embrace their God-given masculinity by looking to Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Elijah, David, Peter, James, John, and, ultimately, Jesus as our examples. In movie terms, these men would be the action stars only with the ability the act. They were tough, strong, and rugged leaders, who could laugh, sing, serve, and weep. In order to become like these men, we must recognize two glaring needs: a spiritual father and a band of brothers. Each man had one, which is why they were used by God in such powerful and life-changing ways.

The application, for me, was not finding people to play these parts. By God's grace, I have already been blessed with a spiritual father and a band of brothers. Unlike many male Christians today, my spiritual father was/is my biological father. He put his faith on display for my siblings and I to see everyday. He read and memorized Scripture, talked openly about his faith, sang joyously (which most men are afraid to do), served, wept (also a fear for most men), and led graciously. He wasn't perfect by any means, but he introduced me through word and deed to my Father. I know a number of young men who have turned outside their family for spiritual guidance because the failures of their Christian fathers. While the men who stepped in should not be overlooked, it is a grievous sin (on the part of fathers) that they should be depended upon for their sons' primary spiritual formation. So while God is glorified when other men fill in the gaps, His glory is tainted when fathers are the cause for those gaps.

My band of brothers formed rather quickly my freshman year in college. Halfway through the first semester, we started a Bible study where we could grow and challenge one another to be more like Christ. This continued over the next four years with new members coming and going each year, but the core remaining the same. In the midst of those gatherings laughs were shared, tears (mainly mine thanks to me being my father's son) were shed, walls were destroyed, and comforts lines were blurred in the name of brotherly love. Last year I was absent from the band while I lived at home, but the bond remained intact thanks to commitments of prayer, emails, and phone calls. It was in that year when I realized my I had taken for granted the Godly men placed in my life to help me grow in my knowledge and love of God. For a lot of men, this seems contrary to what the world tells us. We live in a world where only the strong survive, and the strong men are those who stand alone. They don't need anyone or anything because it is a sign of weakness. Sadly, many men in the church embrace this very attitude. They refuse a band of brothers for fear of being vulnerable and exposed. They view sharing your thoughts, struggles, pains, and joys as feminine, when they are exactly what Christ and his band of 12 apostles did every single day for three years (and this group consisted of a carpenter, fishermen, and other manly men). The issue again comes back to the absence of a father to demonstrate these aspects of the Christian life for them in everyday situations.

Because God has graciously met these needs in my life, the sermon took on a different face. My call is not to find a father and band of brothers, but to follow the example of Christ (Mark 3:13-14). Christ was a spiritual father who helped form a band of brothers. If God blesses me with the gift of a wife and children, my responsibility will be clear as day. Deuteronomy 6 will be my mission statement until the day God calls me unto Himself. However, even if He chooses to withhold those gifts, my mission statement does not change. I am to make it my calling to aid in the spiritual formation of the younger generation. I need to exemplify by word and deed what Christ desires of me thanks to His sacrifice on the cross. Hopefully, it will encourage them to band together with intent of growing in Christ and being fathers to the fatherless.

Of course, I couldn't end this post without a word of gratitude to my spiritual father and my band of brothers. But I do not want to leave out anyone else who has been a secondary spiritual father over the years. I have had many, and I thank God for each and every one.

In the valley...

Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,

Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,

where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights...

Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up... that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit...that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown... that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;

Let me find thy light in my darkness, thy life in my death, thy joy in my sorrow, thy grace in my sin, thy riches in my poverty, thy glory in my valley.

~The Valley Of Vision

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your weary souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

~Matthew 11:28-30

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength (rock) of my heart and my portion forever.

~Psalm 73:26

"There is a time for everything"

That phrase is from Ecclesiastes 3:1. The second half of the verse says, "and a season for every activity under heaven." Right now, it seems like the only activity I have time for is teaching. Everything else takes a back seat, whether I want it to or not. However, there is one activity I am learning to enjoy now more than I ever did before: sports.

For those who know me, you must be thinking "well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, then I don't know what is!" I love sports: always have, always will. They were the foundation for my relationships with my father, brother, and other male friends. From there, grew a deeper appreciation for and fellowship with one another. However, my Achilles heal was how seriously I took that which I claimed to enjoy. My brother can tell you about many phone calls I made to him "from the edge." When my teams lost, I took it personally. I wanted nothing to do with anyone, because I needed time to be by myself. My love for sports morphed into a ugly worship of them because my identity was wrapped up in them instead of Christ (Romans 8:14-17). Thankfully, the Phillies won the World Series in 2008.

No you're thinking, "wait, how does that make sense?" The answer lies in that memorable October night sitting in my parents family room. I do remember the significant plays of the game, Harry's call of it on the radio, and the wild celebration afterwards. But the part I remembered most was my dad. I was filled with more joy seeing the huge smile spread across his face. I don't really know if the smile was because of the end of a long championship drought, but it didn't matter. Seeing the joy on his face, removed any care for what put it there.

Since then my attitude about sports has changed significantly. I still love to watch them all, but amongst friends and family (it adds the sheer enjoyment of fellowship to the excitement). I enjoy playing fantasy football (it helps me stay in touch with those who are not necessarily in the area). My family runs a suicide league over the course of the NFL season, which is loads of fun (we trash talk in love and laugh about it when we are able to get together). The fullest realization of this came last night as three of us watched one of the most exciting Phillies (and baseball for that matter) games I have ever seen. Clutch hitting and late-inning rallies never get old. But they're just another gift I have grown to take for granted when my focus should be on the Giver.

my lament

Today was not a good day. Everything that could possibly go wrong seemed to head that way right off the bat. I talked with family and friends to lament my frustrations, but found little relief. I was about to call it a day when I grabbed my Bible. (Why this is my last resort I don't know.) Here is what our God spoke to me through His Spirit, which I hope encourages you:

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth." ~Lamentations 3:21-27 (ESV)

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen" ~Ephesians 4:20-21

call me Gomer

My sister and brother-in-law introduced me to singer/songwriter Andrew Peterson when they lived in Nashville. I thoroughly enjoy his music, more so because the lyrics are genuine, profound, and, sometimes, uncomfortable. My favorite song of his is called "Hosea" as it recalls God's call for Hosea to marry an adulterous prostitute named Gomer. It was originally my favorite because it reminded me of where I was before Christ reached out to save me. However, I am convinced now, more than ever, it is my favorite because it tells MY ongoing story. You can call me Gomer.

Every time I lay in the bed beside you, Hosea, Hosea, I hear the sound of the streets of the city. My belly growls like a hungry wolf and I let it prowl till my belly’s full. Hosea, my heart is a stone.

Please believe me when I say I’m sorry, Hosea, Hosea, you lovable, gullible man. I tell you that my love is true till it fades away like a morning dew. Hosea, leave me alone.

Here I am in the Valley of Trouble. Just look at the bed that I've made: badlands as far as I can see. There’s no one here but me, Hosea.

This epitomizes my relationship with Christ. He is the faithful husband, and I am the adulterous prostitute. As He pours His love into me, I am wondering the "streets of the city" looking for something more tangible, but less satisfying. When I come back, my actions show grief, but that grief fades next morning. He still receives me only to watch me fall away over and over again. Hosea says it like this (and pardon the language, but God's Word is not shy), "For a spirit of whoredom has led them astray, and they have left their God to play the whore" (4:12). Recently I left my God in a spirit of whoredom searching for the gods of perfection, acceptance, and relevance. My classroom is not at all what I intended it to be. I fail over and over again, and I grow anxious over how I appear to the rest of the school. I neglect my identity as a child of God and co-heir with Christ. Instead I get wrapped up in my desires to be a perfectionist who has the adoration of those around him. Now, as this god of mine has proven to be nothing more than a pile of rubbish, I am lost. Even the things that were in check, are in an out-of-control tailspin. While I know running back into the arms of my Father is what I need, I continue to whore myself around to other unsatisfying things. This is where the song reminds me of my Father:

I stumbled and fell in the road on the way home, Hosea, Hosea. I lay in the brick street like a stray dog. You came to me like a silver moon with the saddest smile I ever knew. Hosea carried me home again. Home again.

You called me out to the Valley of Trouble just to look at the mess that I've made, a barren place where nothing can grow. One look and my stone heart crumbled--it was a valley as green as jade. I swear it was the color of hope. You turned a stone into a rose, Hosea.

My Father, the faithful husband, goes in pursuit of me even while I am in the act of adultery! When He finds me half-dead and spent on worthless gods, He carries me back to Himself. He has every right to leave me in the street after all I have done to Him. Thankfully, His grace, mercy, and love overcome my unfaithfulness.

I would love to say I am at the point, where my heart is made new, and I declare my faithfulness to Him alone. In all honesty, I have just been carried home, and shown the realities of my corrupt heart. I understand my actions were not the root of the problem; my heart is. My heart has grown callous and stone-like despite of God's grace. He is beginning the process of turning it back into flesh, which is painfully hard. I have to let go of the gods I have been carrying for most of my life, because there is no room for them with Him. My eyes are opened, and the Spirit is now leading. I haven't revealed the end of the song yet, because I am not there. It offers me to hope of what will happen and the strength to persevere through the pain and hardship.

I sang and I danced like I did as a young girl, Hosea, Hosea. I am a slave and a harlot no more. You washed me clean like a summer rain and you set me free with that ball and chain. Hosea, I threw away the key. I’ll never leave.

I want to start my first post in a while with a shameless plug. For those of you who don't do so start reading 4thanddone.com. It is my newest favorite blog, and happens to be authored by my brother. It's all about sports (mainly football), but his musings are both worth reading and hilarious at the same time. It always promises to get me laughing because I am one of the few people who truly appreciate his humor. It reminds me of the laughs we shared as kids, which were numerous...

...Actually, my plug serves as a nice segue into today's ramblings. Teaching has kept me extremely busy over the last couple of weeks. My free time is spent planning, grading, and thinking about doing those things. Thankfully, God's grace continues to sustain me despite my tendency to lack perseverance.

As a part of His grace, I was able to make the long (1:40 is long to me) trek home as we celebrated the coming birth of my first niece/nephew. Physically, the weekend was exhausting. My aforementioned brother ran the male members of my family into the ground with 3 hours of basketball followed by 2 of football. My body is still sore, but the time spent was well worth it. Spiritually (emotionally, or whatever you want to call it), the weekend was fulfilling. For me, there are few things in this world better than time with my family (extended as well seeing as my cousins also joined the festivities). We may fight and argue, but those soon fade as we laugh, play, encourage, and enjoy our time together. As we have gotten older and distances further, the time proves sweeter as we push through shallow pleasantries straight towards God-designed fellowship. God fills us with what He created us for through the love displayed when we are together.

In spite of the joy I experienced over the weekend, I still came away with a sense of grief. Why does the family of God not reflect how I interact with my family? What is so different about a biological family that makes the spiritual family less significant? Some say it is because of the wide array of opinions, perspectives, and backgrounds represented in the body of Christ. While I acknowledge these, a biological family struggles with them as well. Ask any member of my family about one particular issue, and you will get a variety of responses. We butt heads all the time without letting our love falter (though it can get pushed to the brink).

Ephesians 2:19: So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone,

This isn't another call for unity, because I think those calls miss the heart of the issue. Instead, it is a call for a building inspection. We have built immaculate houses with inadequate foundations. If, and when, we establish Christ as our cornerstone, meaningless arguing within the family of God (established through the life, death, resurrection, and glorification of Jesus Christ) will cease. We will look for opportunities to foster familial relationships demonstrating horizontally what we already are vertically. Will we agree on every jot and tittle? No. Will every time together be sweet? No. Will sin be wiped out? No. What will happen is fewer splits over personal convictions and more sharpening of biblical doctrine. We will experience the fellowship God created us for along with fellowship we all desperately desire. Who knows, maybe we will actually believe it when we sing "I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God..."

three-day weekend

Unlike a traditional weekend, I am only on day two of rest and relaxation. School is off tomorrow, which means I get to stay home. While the day will most likely include lesson planning, grading, and many other teacher related activities, it will be a much-needed day of rest. I am almost one month into my first year (a post about that will be coming shortly), and I am already learning to enjoy and seek rest. God, graciously, made us beings who require rest whether we take it or not. In addition to physical rest, I am enjoying the spiritual rest that comes with the weekend. Being able to worship on Sunday mornings with other believers is truly a blessing I have come to take for granted. It encourages and satisfies like nothing else can. Along with corporal worship, the weekend provides plenty of time to commune with my Savior: to bask in His love, joy, peace, and comfort. The responsibility falls on me to pursue it because the offer is always on the table.

"when God shows up"

Apparently people like to say this a lot. I can't say how many stories I have heard where people describe things as going a certain way until "God showed up." I understand their point, but I never really liked that saying. It implies God being somewhere else, when His Word promises He won't. I think the more appropriate quote should be "God grabbed my attention." Or in my case; "God knocked me topside the head."

Ever since I moved, I have been looking for a church to become a part of and experience community with. My search led me to a handful of churches, but each one did not meet my expectations (hopefully you are more discerning than I was, and, even now, recognize my foolishness). In my arrogance, I acted like an athlete in the middle of a contract dispute; I held out. I took my self-centered attitude into every church with the intended purpose of finding its faults. Unbeknownst to me, my heart became hard to God's grace being displayed through these bodies of believers. My heart had become like Pharaoh: callous towards the blessings of our God because they weren't what I wanted. I took this heart with me to church this morning ready to fight.

I attending a service this morning where worship was the theme of the worship service. I brought my attitude in with me, assured that everything I would hear had already been impressed upon me. I would be told that God is the center of all our worship, leaving all our preferences and criticisms void. I would be encouraged to contemplate the vastness of God in order to drive my posture in worship. Finally, I would hear how worship incorporates all aspects of our lives, not just special occasions. As a matter of fact, Psalm 145 and Revelation 4 were the passages of the sermon, and they reiterated my assumptions. I had successfully listened to the sermon and convinced myself everything shared through the Word received a "check" in my gradebook. I was getting ready to leave in the same manner I came in; then God knocked me topside my head.

Graciously, the church decided to do most of their worship, in song, after the sermon. They wanted a chance for God's people to respond to His Word. I began with the half-hearted singing I took up before the sermon, still convinced of my righteousness. They started the second song, which I was completely unfamiliar with. I had to go from fake singing to a fake contemplation over the words. It was in this song, that God did the knocking. Honestly, I don't even remember any of the words, the style, or anything else about the song, because it wasn't the song that "knocked me over." It was our God overwhelming me with just how BIG and GLORIOUS He truly is! I stood bare before His throne with only my arrogance and pride to show. I was Job when God said to him, "Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me." And like Job, my mouth was rendered useless before Him.

But in His mercy, He granted me forgiveness. He did not leave me there, but drew me unto Himself through my Savior. In that posture, I worshipped the way I was created to. My heart acknowledged that, "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable."

on man...

Today was pretty much a terrible, rotten, no good, very bad day (for those who know the book by a similar title). My patience was pushed to the brink, and, thankfully, the Spirit kept me from going over the edge. I don't know what it is about some of these students, but I wish I did. Obviously, they need to experience the love of our Savior and the miraculous change He can orchestrate within. Sadly, my job description does not allow me to do that with my words, just my actions. I am left only (and by only I do not mean to minimize the role and effectiveness of prayer) to pray each and every day for these youngsters, and try my best to be Jesus to them because I fear it may be the only experience they ever have with Him. It's excpetionally hard on days like today, but on my way home I was reminded that it can be done.

How many times have I pushed God's patience to the brink? (Technically the answer is zero, because He is long-standing and merciful) As I rode home listening to whatever worship songs my Ipod would play, I was overcome with the sense of my own rebellion towards God. Even with a new heart and mind, I still act significantly worse towards my Savior, than my students act towards me. I know the Truth, and often times choose to act against it. I have experienced the grace and love, but neglect to let it saturate my relationship with Him. If I can get so frustrated with the students who talk back and refuse to listen, how is it that God can continually be faithful when I run away and take His blessings for granted? Grace. Where would I be without grace? It is what has saved me and what continues to sustain me each and every day.

an athlete who got it right

For those who didn't know, David Robinson (center for the San Antonio Spurs) was inducted into the Hall of Fame yesterday. He was (and is) my favorite athlete of all time. In a day where most athletes have little regard for those who are watching them, David reconciled his faith and the wide world of athletics with humility and passion. Listen and watch his Hall of Fame speech, and you will hear a man walking in accordance with the Spirit. It's a breath of fresh air for all of us, whether we are watched by millions of die-hard fans or twenty four energetic fourth graders.

what a week and what a God!

Just when I thought things could not get any crazier, the second week of my teaching career ended. Things started off with my car singing her last song leaving me frantically searching for a new mode of transporation. In addition, a number of the young gentlemen in my class had taken advantage of my laid-back approach, and my patience was wearing thin. It seemed like this week would never end. I was frustrated, stressed, and exhausted.

Thankfully, I began rereading the book Unfashionable to get a deeper look into how we, as Christians, are called to live drastically different lives for the sake of the lost. One of the chapters I read explained the need for Christians to be angry people. Not angry at what is being done to them, but angry at what is being done to our God;

"God-centered anger is when you get angry because God has been
dishonored and his ways have been maligned."

I immediately thought this was the answer to my classroom situation. I needed to get angry because these kids were not honoring our God. Then I read this,

"God centered anger is humble...Until you first feel the grief and
anger over your own imperfections, you dare not show grief and anger
over the imperfections of others."

Wow! The problem wasn't necessarily my kids; it was me. I wasn't angry because the kids were not successfully being image bearers of God, I was angry because they weren't following my rules. I took this to heart as I went before the students on Thursday to confess my failures at helping them grow and showing them how through my example. As a result, Friday was one of the better days of the year thus far. I got off my high, self-involved horse to view my students the way God has called me to. I am learning to hate what He hates and love what He loves as I work with these students.

To top it all off, God continued to demonstrate His faithfulness to me. My car came back from the shop running the same way it ran before I broke down last weekend. I am no longer in need of an immediate automotive upgrade, so I can be more patient to find the best deal for my current situation. But to keep my head level and eyes fixed, God has once again demanded my full attention. He has graciously allowed a minor physical ailment to remind me of my weakness and His surpassing strength. Thank God for His amazing grace!

Working in mysterious ways?

My first week of teaching is now in the bag, and the second week is upon me. I already know the challenges facing me, along with the lessons I need learning in patience. Sadly enough, the first week made me feel pretty good. Why is feeling good a bad thing, you ask? Unfortunately, my tendency is to take my feelings of things going well and place full stock in them staying that way. I lose focus of my need for God as I take advantage of His blessings. I start to plow ahead without any regard for what He desires or what His will is. As a result, God starts to work in mysterious (humbling might be the better word because they aren't really mysterious) ways to adjust my mindset. This time around, God recaptured my attention by testing my trust in Him. Basically, my car is finally showing the signs of her age (almost 20 years) after breaking down on route to Keuka. I have some money to buy a new car, but nowhere near enough to avoid any kind of loan. My plans to finish off this year with a chunk of change saved has altered drastically in a matter of 48 hours. However, I feel like this is a blessing in disguise. Before I even got a chance to let money (this is my first real job) get a hold of me, God grabbed me first. He is making sure my trust is devoted to Him alone, and He remains the Lord of my life. It isn't the way I was hoping to start off the year, but I know it was just what God wanted all along.

...and there she is! It has taken me more time than I ever wanted to spend, but she is finished (actually there is much more I will be adding next week, but she's good enough for display). On Monday morning those desks will be filled with twenty-four fourth graders of all shapes and sizes. I am excitingly anxious for the upcoming year and getting to interact with each and every one these youngsters. My hope is, as I teach them, they will be able to teach me more about our great God (Matthew 11:25-26). And it is because of Him, I am here willing to be used for His glory.

(If you were wondering about the back right corner by my desk all I can say is yes those are my old posters. My classroom would be incomplete if it were lacking in the display of various sports paraphernalia...and a sweet looking globe)

wait for the Lord

The title-quote is from Psalm 27:14. It has been my meditation for the past week as I am anxious about the start of the school year, finding a church, getting settled, and everything else sitting on my plate. In the midst of my active waiting, I came across one of my pictures from Utah, which brought to mind a promise of God to those who come to Him and wait. It is a well known promise I often overlook, but its truth resounds nonetheless:




"He leads me besides still waters. He restores my soul." ~Psalm 23:2-3)

for no one desires to comment his own dunghill

I was going to make a post today with the intent of tooting my own horn in the name of spiritual growth, but, thankfully, my pride tripped me up before I could get there. Instead, I simply want to post the quote that serves as my title and a response to that title from the book of Puritan prayers called, The Valley of Vision. It serves as a smack in my own face, and demonstrates the selfishly unwanted and scary truth of what it means to be at the foot of the cross. So, in light to my love of a dunghill:

"Thou blessed Spirit, author of all grace and comfort,

Come, work repentance in my soul; represent sin to me in its odious colours that I may hate it; Melt my heart by the majesty and mercy of God;

Show me my ruined self and the help there is in him;

Teach me to behold my Creator, his ability to save, his arms outstretched, his heart big for me.

May I confide in his power and love, commit my soul to him without reserve, bear his image, observe his laws, pursue his service, and be through time and eternity a monument to the efficacy of his grace, a trophy of his victory.

Make me willing to be saved in his way, perceiving nothing in myself, but all in Jesus:

Help me not only to receive him but to walk in him, depend on him, commune with him, be conformed to him, follow him, imperfect, but still pressing forward, not complaining of labour, but valuing rest, not murmuring under trials, but thankful for my state.

Give me that faith which is the means of salvation, and the principle and medium of all godliness;

May I be saved by grace through faith, live by faith, feel the joy of faith, do the work of faith.

Perceiving nothing in myself, may I find in Christ wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, redemption."

what ever happened to forgiveness?

For those who haven't heard (though by now that seems almost impossible), Michael Vick signed a contract with the Philadelphia Eagles yesterday. It is his first step towards getting his life back on track, or at least moving in the positive direction. The first thing I want to say is that regardless of personal feelings towards Vick and his actions, I can't help but feel a little bit glad about his second chance. True discipline is not meant to embarrass or destroy, but restore the individual back to where they were before their fall (as God does with us). I am not saying Vick has everything back on track, because that would imply I know more than the rest of you when I don't. I am just saying that thus far, his discipline has achieved its intended purpose; the rest is on His shoulders. I am hopeful for his situation because I can already see the effects of his mentor Tony Dungy, a Spirit-filled man, playing out (If you haven't read his memoir Quiet Strength, I would encourage you to do so).

Probably the more frustrating and sad aspect of this entire ordeal is the response from many in the surrounding Philadelphia area. Watching the news and reading stories has led me to believe that we have lost the ability to forgive those who seek repentance (and be ready to for those who do not). Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." It is true that Vick engaged in a cruel and disgusting act by orchestrating a dog fighting arena. However, he has suffered the consequences for his actions, and he is actively seeking to redeem that which he can. Plus, are any of us any better than him? Paul said in I Timothy 1:15, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst." This coming from the second most renown individual of our faith (Christ obviously being the first). I think the problem is that we (and when I say "we", I certainly mean "I") really don't believe what Paul says. We are the only ones who know what goes on in our own hearts and minds. We see the dirt and filth whether we chose to address it or not. Our problem is we are too busy pointing at others when they fall that we fail to see the ugliness in ourselves. This leads to a judgmental attitude that lacks the ability to forgive those who slip up along the way. We think we somehow deserve forgiveness because we are not as bad as the other guy, when in fact we are just as far away. Maybe if we took to heart Christ's words about forgiveness, we might react the same way the angels do when a sinner repents: with a joyful heart at the evidence of God's grace in others.

faith like a child

It's been a rainy day here in Ocean City, MD after a beautiful week of sunshine and intense heat. This has left for a lot of time to sit around and relax indoors as opposed to in the midst of sweltering heat. This has allowed me time to reflect on my moving forward once this vacation ends. In a little more than two weeks I will be embarking upon my career as a public educator. I am excited about the opportunity of having a classroom of my own, while also anxious about the work and my overall effectiveness. Seeing this day coming for the past three months, my time with God recently has involved a significant amount of faith refining. I have asked Him to work out the dross in my faith, and He has faithfully answered each and every one of those requests. Ironically, the most intense refining has been occurring over my vacation (particularly with my interactions with one of my fellow vacationers).

In Matthew 18:3 Jesus says, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Thankfully, this verse has been made a harsh reality as I have spent many hours this week with a very special three year old. Typically, we like to think of this image depicting children as fully trusting those in authority over them all the time. The child I have been blessed to be around this week has given me a clearer picture. His faith is not without questions. Actually, it is quite the opposite. He has a question for just about everything under the sun, and he is never afraid to ask it. Could this be the faith God is calling us to? Could He be saying that while we think we aren't as bad as this child, we are actually much worse? I think to some extent this is what God is saying. I also think there is another aspect I tend to overlook.

Faith is not blind. We are not called to leave behind wisdom and knowledge for the sake of the plunge. Instead we are called to seek wisdom through God and His Word. However, there are times when God does call us to simply lay aside all our questions and follow Him. In the case of my three year old friend, it is usually during the simplest tests. He is filled with questions when everything doesn't make sense, but he is ready to follow when everything seems simple. The funny thing to me is that I tend to behave in the opposite manner. I will let go of my desire to lead when the path seems unclear. I fear getting lost, and gladly want God to blaze the path. However, once the path becomes more clear I want control back because I think I can find the way. For some reason when the everything is laid out clear in front of me, my faith in God weakens. I expect Him to help with the big things, but fear He leaves with the small. This concept never crosses the mind of a child, which is what I believe God is trying to say. We can't ever think we are mature enough to do anything without God, no matter how simple the task may seem. Obviously, the faith of a child is filled with questions and unsurety, but they always come back to the faithfulness of those caring for them. Thankfully for Christians, God is still throwing a perfect game.

why the blog?

Before I get too far into this, I must send out two disclaimers. The first is never in a million years did I think I would be blogging. I was thoroughly opposed to every shape and form of blogging I had ever experienced. However, in light of my recent defeat at the hands of Facebook, I now go all in with this blog. Second, I must give credit to my sister who started her own blog which challenged and encouraged me to do the same. This blog is mostly for myself, but I hope that at times it may encourage those who read it or at least get them thinking. I don't care if they agree or disagree as long as it elicits some reaction on a deeper level...

With that said, welcome to my blog! It is a culmination of the last two years needing to be put down in writing somewhere other than my journal, along with anticipation for the year ahead. To give you an update, I am starting my second year out of college and am getting ready to embark upon my new career in a matter of weeks. The journey to this point has been marked by trial, laughter, tears of sorrow and joy, a lot of prayer, reading, and meditation, and daily struggling to grapple with the plans God has in store for me.

This leads me now to the title of my blog. Peniel is the name Jacob gave to the place where he wrestled with God, and then lived to see another day. For those of you who don't know the story, I encourage you to read Genesis 32:22-32 for yourselves. In quick summary, Jacob is about to meet his estranged brother Esau (who he expects has every desire to kill Jacob) with his entire life investments alongside him (wives, children, livestock, servants, etc.). He goes off on his own and wrestles God, in the form of a man, demanding to be blessed. In the end, he receives his blessing (a new name) as well as a dislocated hip to remind him of his struggle. (Now to find out the rest of the story, I want you to go read it instead of me spoiling it for you). What this particular story has to do with me is nothing more than it generally sums up my experiences with God over the past two years: wrestling which leads to blessing.

The reality of the passage never really set in until I read Psalm 10 last week. The style of this Psalm is repeated often throughout the book (Psalms 13, 17, 22, 55, and others), and it is a style that fascinates me every time I encounter it. These particular Psalms all depict the writer (whether David or one of the many other writers) in the midst of an intense trial that includes some level of suffering. As they suffer, these men find out what it means to really wrestle with God and His promises. In the midst of the pain and suffering, they go to God with questions such as, "Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" Now to most of us, these words seem judgmental and irreverent. How can finite man accuse God of silently standing by? The answer is because they aren't accusing God of anything. The only thing these men are guilty of is falling before the throne of grace and laying themselves bare before their King (which is never easy to do). They ignore the self-righteous and religious call to clean ourselves up if we expect to enter into God's presence, and choose to come before Him in whatever condition they find themselves in. And this is where the wrestling begins...

Now the writers take it one step further, calling God to action on their behalf. They claim His promises revealed through His Word and character about saving those in need (Zephaniah 3:17). Like Jacob, they desire a blessing, but are unsure of the manner in which it will be provided. Sometimes it may be deliverance from the trial, while other times it may be continued comfort along the way. Either way, the wrestling is not done in order to get God to do what we want, but to conform our will to His good, perfect, and pleasing will (Romans12:2). We never wrestle God with the hopes of winning, but with the expectation that He will wreak havoc on our will. We cry out the same words of the father of the possessed boy in Mark 9:24, "I believe; help my unbelief!" And now the amazing work of grace becomes evident...

Each of these Psalms ends with a loud exclamation of the greatness of our God. They have seen the fruits of their wrestling with God, and the aligning of our will to His. "O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear" (Psalm 10:17). Were these men necessarily delivered from their struggle and trial? No, but they saw afresh the workings of God's grace and reality of His promises. This world is filled with pain, sorrow, and struggle, but God will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13). This fact alone does nothing more than draw us closer to the Father with a heart full of praise and adoration for the God of our salvation, both in this life and, especially, the next.

So what I leave with now is a challenge to myself and everyone else who finds themselves in a season of trial or victory. My challenge is not to be afraid to wrestle with God. If I am completely honest with myself, I am excited, and yet afraid, of the wrestling I will be doing over the next year with our sovereign God. It will be painful and humiliating, but I am assured that it will be more than worth it. Throughout the pages of the Bible we see men (and women) such as Jacob, Joseph, Ruth, Esther, David, Mary, Jesus, Paul, and many others wrestling over the plan God had laid out for their lives. It isn't wrong to wrestle as long as our motive is to be changed and not accuse God of injustice (because God is anything but unjust given our nature and track record). It isn't easy, as I am continually learning, but God promises to bless those who earnestly seek after Him...as long as we willingly step into the ring.

*As a side note, not all of my entries will be this long or involved. Hopefully, they will somehow draw back to this idea (given the name of the blog), but sometimes they may not. I might include humorous stories, words of encouragement, inspirational pictures, or anything else I may feel like. As I stated above, my desire is simply to get us thinking differently about faith, and how it plays out in everyday life.