in the river

For those sick of my recent infatuation with Pilgrim's Progress I offer you these words of comfort: tough. Ha! But in all reality, I rarely ever write my posts for a given audience other than myself. There are times, like birthdays, where I hope the special person reads what I write. Otherwise, my intent is and always has been writing to myself. Those who choose to chime in and more then welcome.

I heard the passage given below in a sermon a few years ago. I honestly don't remember exactly what text was expounded upon, but I remember the pastor quoting this. He did so with great passion and conviction. He even came to tears halfway through. It made me want to read the book in order to experience the part for myself. As I drew near to it, my mind went back to that particular Sunday. My heart grew excited while reading it. My search was well worth it.

"You must go through, [the river] or you cannot come at the gate...For you shall find it deeper or shallower as you believe in the King of the place..."

Christian began to sink, and, cried out to his good friend Hopeful.

"I sink in the deep waters; the billows go over my head; all the waves go over me!"

"Be of good cheer, my brother; I feel the bottom, and it is good."

"Ah! my friend, the sorrows of death have compassed me about: I shall not see the land that flows with milk and honey..."

Hopeful therefore here had much ado to keep his brother's head above water...Hopeful also would endeavor to comfort him, saying:

"Brother, I see the gate, and men standing by to receive us."

"It is you, it is you they wait for; you have been hopeful ever since I knew you."

"And so have you."

"Ah, brother, surely if I were right He would now arise to help me; but for my sins He hath brought me into the snare, and hath left me."

"My brother, you have quite forgot the text where it is said of the wicked: 'There are no bands in their death, but their strength is firm: they are not troubled as other men, neither are they plagued like other men.' These troubles and distresses that you go through in these waters are no sign that God hath forsaken you; but are sent to try you whether you will call to mind that which heretofore you have received of His goodness, and live upon Him in your distresses...Be of good cheer; Jesus Christ maketh thee whole."

And with that Christian break out with a loud voice,

"On, I see Him again! and He tells me: 'When thou passeth through waters, I will be with thee; and through rivers, they shall not overflow thee."

(Bunyan, John pp. 182-184)

I may have stated before that Samwise Gamgee is my favorite fictional character in all of literature. Hopeful may be a close second. We all need friends like him as we wade through the rivers we must cross. They don't offer words of their own intelligence, but those straight from the mouth of God. Only such words can open our eyes to see Him who awaits to help pull us to the other side.

loving discipline

I did not anticipate jotting down as many thoughts as I have from Pilgrim's Progress. I've heard people say it's a book every Christian should read, but now I am slowly understanding why. I could describe the book as a look into my own life.

We like to throw around the term journey when talking about our faith. It's as if the final destination is our faith. We journey and struggle in order to gain a faith, which has already been gifted us in Christ. The book tosses aside the fluffy term we use today because this journey is all about striving towards the God's kingdom awaiting those in Christ. It's a painful, strenuous, difficult, humiliating, (add any other synonym for tough) more often than not, and yet peaceful, wonderful, beautiful, comforting, joy-filled (add any other synonym for pleasant) just when we think we've reached the end of our rope. All this makes the conclusion to our journey all the more magnificent. We are promised a welcoming into the kingdom where our King awaits us.

But along the way, there are valuable lessons teaching us to press forward with the hope we have ever before us.

So he led them back to the way which they had left to follow the Flatterer. Then he asked them, saying:

"Where did you lie last night?"

"With the Shepherds upon the Delectable Mountains."

He asked them if they had not the note of directions for the way.

"Yes"

"But you did not, when you were at a stand, pluck out and read your note?"

"No"

"Why?"

They said they forgot. He asked, moreover, if the Shepherds did not bid them beware of the Flatterer?

"Yes; but we did not imagine that his fine-spoken men had been he."

Then I saw in my dream that he...chastised them sore to teach them the good way wherein they should walk...So they thanked him for all his kindness, and went softly along the right way singing:

"Come hither, you that walk along the way,

See how the pilgrims fare that go astray:

They caught are in an entangled net,

'Cause they good counsel lightly did forget;

'Tis true they rescued were; but yet, you see.

They're scourged to boot; let this your caution be."

(Bunyan, John, pp.155-156, emphasis mine)

Discipline is never fun. But anyone who hangs around children (of any age) knows it's more than needed. God calls us His children. We don't listen and quickly forget His words to us. As a good Father will, He disciplines in love for our own benefit. It enables us to walk away singing of thankfulness because God's momentary discipline saved us from the greater pain of following our own way.

battles with shame

Yea, he put me so to it that my blood came up in my face, even this Shame fetched it up, and had almost beat me quite off. But at last I began to consider that that which is highly esteemed among men is had in abomination with God. And I thought again, this Shame tells me what men are; but tells me nothing what God, or the Word of God, is. And I thought, moreover, that at the day of doom we shall not be doomed to death according to the hectoring spirits of the world, but according to the wisdom and law of the Highest. Therefore, thought I, what God says is best, is best through all the men in the world are against it...Shame, depart, thou art an enemy to my salvation. Shall I entertain thee against my sovereign Lord? (Bunyan, John pp. 82-83)

Shame is not of God's Spirit, but our enemy. It works against us to bog us down in our sin. It places the focus on us rather than our crucified and risen Lord. Sin, along with shame, must be confessed and repented of (1 John 1:9), not used as a tortuous instrument crashing down upon us again and again. Faithful said it correctly, thou are an enemy to my salvation. Welcoming our enemy, in the name of piety, never nourishes our soul.

Christian reaches the cross

I never read Pilgrim's Progress before. I know the gist of the story and various events that transpired. I subbed for my injured mother yesterday, and I saw the book on one of her shelves. I began reading to see if it's as much of a "classic" as people say it is. I'm not even halfway through, but I love the images and words used to effectively describe the struggle facing us as we strive towards our real home. I have seen myself many times in Christian, especially his failures.

Last night I read Christian's reaching of the cross. What a beautiful picture. I won't elaborate on it, but simply recite it for I think enough is said in what Bunyan wrote.

He ran thus till he came to a place somewhat ascending; and upon that place stood a cross, and a little below, in the bottom, a sepulcher. So I saw in my dream that just as Christian came up with the cross, the burden loosened from off his shoulders, and fell from off his back, and began to tumble, and so continued to do till it came to the mouth of the sepulcher, where it fell in, and I saw it no more.

Then was Christian glad and lightsome, and said with a merry heart: "He hath given me rest by His sorrow and life by His death." Then he stood still a while to look and wonder; for it was very surprising to him that the sight of the cross should thus ease him of his burden. He looked therefore, and looked again, even till the springs that were in his dead sent the waters down his cheeks. (Bunyan, John pp. 40-41)

gather me in

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!

~Matthew 23:37

After releasing the heavy load sitting upon my chest for the past few weeks God challenged me to hear some of the words He spoke to those who were dead and/or asleep. Some are encouraging, others quite the opposite. Considering I am a stiff-necked person, I am certainly going to need both. Considering Easter is a few weeks away. What better way to prepare for celebrating than to listen and meditate?

dead or sleeping

(Note of disclaimer. I am not trying to rub people the wrong way or ruffle any feathers. And I pray no one views this as sitting on a "high horse" or pedestal. I am just making observations from my own life, primarily, and the lives of many in our country when it comes to faith. It's been a struggle of mine since returning home.)

Over the past couple of weeks two passages seem to be pressing heavily upon my own heart. They come to mind during the quiet times throughout the day and in conversations with different people. For me, they are a much-needed burden as I see areas of my life where I see these two passages speaking directly. From there, I pray for them to be seen in a similar light by all who proclaim salvation as God's gift of grace through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ alone, namely those in this country.

Am I dead? Are we dead?

The hand of the Lord was upon me, and he brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. And he led me around among them, and, behold, they were very dry. And he said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" And I answered, "O Lord God, you know"...Then he said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Behold, they say, "Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are indeed cut off." ~Ezekiel 37:1-3, 11

Am I sleeping? Are we sleeping?

And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." And he took with him Peter, James, and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. And he said to them, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch"...And he came and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, "Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak"...And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy, and they did not know what to answer him. And he came the third time and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and taking your rest?"

~Mark 14:32-34, 37-38, 40-41

The more time I spent away from the "everyday-ness" of 21st century American Christianity the more my heart grieved over what I saw. The growing time gap between my trip and now grieves my heart as I see how quickly I jump right back into the stream. It reminds me I am as much the problem as anyone else. Before I can even think about pointing fingers, most of the blame falls upon my own head.

While away I saw a deeper longing for time in God's Word and prayer, genuine fellowship grounded in Jesus Christ, daily seeking out interactions with the lost to share Christ with them, heartfelt repentance over my many sins both large and small, an undeniable sense of the voice of God, and the active working of the hand of God, to name a few. I grasped Christ's words of experiencing His joy and knowing it to the fullest. My heart ached at the thought of leaving.

Since being home I fight myself to be in God's Word, agonize over taking time to pray, seek the comfort of myself more often than not, rarely engage with non-Christians (let alone seek them out), manage my sins as not being "all that bad," hear nothing, and see nothing, to name a few. I am distracted by way too many meaningless things. I convince myself the little time I have must be spent engaging in the tiny pleasures of this fleeting life. I rush through anything pertaining to spiritual growth because my time is "limited." I desire less and less of God as I seek to fill my life with more and more of the garbage handed to me on a silver platter. I am definitely longing, desiring, seeking, hungering, thirsting, and asking, only it sickens me when I get a glimpse of what exactly I am doing these things for.

Am I dead or sleeping?

Theologically, I can't be dead since by receiving Christ I received life from the Spirit. Practically the difference between being dead and asleep are trivial. Either way I am in desperate need of God's Spirit. Like the bones, I need Him to equip me with breath, sinews, muscles, flesh, and skin to give life to my body. Like the apostles, I need Him to come shake me until I arise from my slumber. Whether dead or sleeping, I am worthless. I am unable to perform any of the tasks He has graciously enabled me to do. I am living as an unfaithful and ungrateful servant whose life has been redeemed.

Are we dead or sleeping?

We burn books in the name of piety. We ignore false teaching permeating from the pulpit. We treat church as merely a social club. We lack knowledge of God's Word without seeming too bothered by it. We argue over trivial things, but let the important matters go unnoticed. We treat prayer as only for the gifted. We have no joy in our salvation making us useless in sharing with others. We fix our eyes on our needs, wants, pleasures, luxuries, and comforts at the expense of those around us. We'll do whatever it takes to get them even if it means sacrificing faith, family, and friends. We place responsibility for everything on anyone but ourselves. And I could keep going. Basically, we regard what this world has to offer with far greater worth than who our God is, what He's done for us, and what He expects from us. We are friends (bff's if you will) of this world and everything it wants us to treasure.

And along with these two passages, God brings to mind two others I know well in my head, but fail to grasp in my heart. They aren't nice encouragements for us to take our time in repenting of our sin. They are spoken in love, but God's love is clearly known to be tough when it needs to be.

But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.

~Revelation 2:4-5

I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.

Revelation 3:15-19

Psalm 73

I found a greater appreciation for Psalm 73 after hearing it in a song. I find it to be all too accurate when describing my own life and struggles. I tend to look at those around me and wonder, "Why does life apart from God seem far easier than life with Him?" All the while I am ignoring the "beastly" arrogance growing in my own heart. I am not as near to Him as I think I am. I fail to grasp His promises and see His faithfulness anew each morning. As God's holiness draws these out, my cries slowly turn to visions of how God's nearness to me is of far greater value than anything in this world.

Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.

But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped.

For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

For they have no pangs until death; their bodies are fat and sleek.

They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind.

Therefore pride is their necklace; violence covers them as a garment.

Their eyes swell out through fatness; their hearts overflow with follies.

They scoff and speak with malice; loftily they threaten oppression.

They set their mouths against the heavens, and their tongue struts through the earth.

Therefore his people turn back to them, and find no fault in them.

And they say, "How can God know? Is there knowledge in the Most High?"

Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches.

All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence.

For all the day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning.

If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed the generation of your children.

But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task,

until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end.

Truly you set them in slippery placed; you make them fall to ruin.

How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors!

Like a dream when one awakes, O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms.

When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart,

I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.

Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish, you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.