The pastor wanted to address a growing problem with the men in our day. It is a problem I stare in the face every single day with my students, particularly the gentlemen. For a variety of reasons our world lacks strong, masculine, and Godly men. Too many husbands and fathers abdicate their responsibilities for the meaningless pleasures of this life without any regards for the havoc it is reeking upon families. Most of the boys in my classroom are absent of fathers or have had such a bad experience with theirs that the thought of any male authority figure is repulsive to them. Unfortunately, this problem infects the church as well as the culture around us. Christian men shy away from their responsibilities in the home and church. Our children know nothing about the God we serve and what Christ has done to enable us to serve. We have failed to live out Deuteronomy 6 in our families. As a result, children play the "God-game" as long as they live with their parents, but quickly abandon it when they move out. The sermon challenged the men to embrace their God-given masculinity by looking to Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Elijah, David, Peter, James, John, and, ultimately, Jesus as our examples. In movie terms, these men would be the action stars only with the ability the act. They were tough, strong, and rugged leaders, who could laugh, sing, serve, and weep. In order to become like these men, we must recognize two glaring needs: a spiritual father and a band of brothers. Each man had one, which is why they were used by God in such powerful and life-changing ways.
The application, for me, was not finding people to play these parts. By God's grace, I have already been blessed with a spiritual father and a band of brothers. Unlike many male Christians today, my spiritual father was/is my biological father. He put his faith on display for my siblings and I to see everyday. He read and memorized Scripture, talked openly about his faith, sang joyously (which most men are afraid to do), served, wept (also a fear for most men), and led graciously. He wasn't perfect by any means, but he introduced me through word and deed to my Father. I know a number of young men who have turned outside their family for spiritual guidance because the failures of their Christian fathers. While the men who stepped in should not be overlooked, it is a grievous sin (on the part of fathers) that they should be depended upon for their sons' primary spiritual formation. So while God is glorified when other men fill in the gaps, His glory is tainted when fathers are the cause for those gaps.
My band of brothers formed rather quickly my freshman year in college. Halfway through the first semester, we started a Bible study where we could grow and challenge one another to be more like Christ. This continued over the next four years with new members coming and going each year, but the core remaining the same. In the midst of those gatherings laughs were shared, tears (mainly mine thanks to me being my father's son) were shed, walls were destroyed, and comforts lines were blurred in the name of brotherly love. Last year I was absent from the band while I lived at home, but the bond remained intact thanks to commitments of prayer, emails, and phone calls. It was in that year when I realized my I had taken for granted the Godly men placed in my life to help me grow in my knowledge and love of God. For a lot of men, this seems contrary to what the world tells us. We live in a world where only the strong survive, and the strong men are those who stand alone. They don't need anyone or anything because it is a sign of weakness. Sadly, many men in the church embrace this very attitude. They refuse a band of brothers for fear of being vulnerable and exposed. They view sharing your thoughts, struggles, pains, and joys as feminine, when they are exactly what Christ and his band of 12 apostles did every single day for three years (and this group consisted of a carpenter, fishermen, and other manly men). The issue again comes back to the absence of a father to demonstrate these aspects of the Christian life for them in everyday situations.
Because God has graciously met these needs in my life, the sermon took on a different face. My call is not to find a father and band of brothers, but to follow the example of Christ (Mark 3:13-14). Christ was a spiritual father who helped form a band of brothers. If God blesses me with the gift of a wife and children, my responsibility will be clear as day. Deuteronomy 6 will be my mission statement until the day God calls me unto Himself. However, even if He chooses to withhold those gifts, my mission statement does not change. I am to make it my calling to aid in the spiritual formation of the younger generation. I need to exemplify by word and deed what Christ desires of me thanks to His sacrifice on the cross. Hopefully, it will encourage them to band together with intent of growing in Christ and being fathers to the fatherless.
Of course, I couldn't end this post without a word of gratitude to my spiritual father and my band of brothers. But I do not want to leave out anyone else who has been a secondary spiritual father over the years. I have had many, and I thank God for each and every one.
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