on the cusp

Come broken and weary

come battered and bruised

my Jesus makes all things new,

all things new

Hold on to the promise

the stories are true

that Jesus makes all things new

(the dawn is upon you)

Rise up, oh you sleeper, awake

the light of the dawn is upon you

Rise up, oh you sleeper, awake

he makes all things new

all things new

~Andrew Peterson, All Things New

Wherever 2010 found you Jesus is the King who redeems. Only He knows what 2011 will bring, and only He brings the newness our hearts desire. If not today, we know all things will be made new in the end.

Happy New Year!

beyond searching out

I don't understand the ways of God. I recognize my finite mind will never fully make sense of them. This doesn't keep me from trying my hardest to wrap my mind around them. As a new year dawns, my head still spins over His working in my life over the past year. If you had asked me at the beginning of 2010 to leave teaching and embark upon a two month stint in missions, I would have called you crazy. But God's ways and methods are definitely much higher and greater than my own. He's done nothing out of character for Him. He dealt with me the same way He deals with all His children and those who came before us.

As J.I.Packer puts its so beautifully,

Still he blesses those on whom he sets his love in a way that humbles them, so that all the glory may be his alone. Still he hates the sins of his people, and uses all kinds of inward and outward pains and griefs to wean their hearts from compromise and disobedience. Still he seeks the fellowship of his people, and sends them both sorrows and joys in order to detach their love from other things and attach it to himself. Still he teaches believers to value his promised gifts by making them wait for those gifts, and compelling them to pray persistently for them, before he bestows them. So we read of God dealing with his people in the Scripture record, and so he deals with them still. His aims and principles of action remain consistent; he does not at any time act out of character. Our ways, we know, are pathetically inconstant-but not God's. (Knowing God, p.79)

Just this past year, God dealt with me in each and every one of these ways. Some He used repeatedly in order to get me to where I am now. It wasn't easy being in the middle of it, but I am overjoyed at looking back.

seeing

The Sermon on the Mount is filled wisdom I often speed through when I am reading. Because of this, I slowed down my chapter reading rate to unpack as much as I can over the course of these three chapters. It seems as though each time I am sure there is nothing left outstanding a particular verse nearly jumps off the page. It's a pleasant reminder of how God's Word cannot be exhausted no matter how many times we may read it. There is always something to learn.

Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them... ~Matthew 6:1

I wrestled with the principle of this verse as the reality of my heading toward ministry started unfolding. As loving friends and family express their support and encouragement it becomes difficult to keep Christ in focus. Pride comes natural to me. I love hearing the praise of others directed at me. Frequently I am more motivated by the praise I know is coming than by loving and serving Christ. That is a dangerous place to be.

At times like these I feel like Paul. My new self wants to give glory and honor to Christ, while the old desires itself to be glorified. It's a battle I can't win. It's also a battle that has already been won for me. Through the power of the Spirit, I can serve Christ well with pure motives. I can be seen by those around me without fear of my head swelling up with pride. Instead, I can rejoice because I know Christ is at work in me. He is molding me more into His image while gaining all the glory in the process.

persecution

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. ~Matthew 5:10

Can you tell I have been going through the Sermon on the Mount? I have no idea whether or not my trip will face outright persecution. I know India is not always open to the gospel and those who preach it. There are countless stories of Christians experiencing a full range of attacks, some to the point of death. Part of me wrestles over this harsh reality. Regardless, this verse provides all the encouragement we should need when it comes to persecution.

At the very least, my presence will hopefully help those who are facing persecution to keep pushing forward. I cannot imagine the difficulty of going through each and every day expecting resistance and some aspect of aggression. It has to get tiring and discouraging. God promises, however, our struggles are not in vain. Whatever we are willing to lose in this life for the sake of Christ will only be added to the treasure we are to receive in heaven. As I head into my trip, I earnestly pray against persecution while recognizing it may be God's will for me to face it in some fashion. Either way, I hold before me the promise of God's Spirit to be with me, and the work I do in His name to further the kingdom.

light can't help but shine

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. ~Matthew 5:14

I love these two statements of Christ because of the matter-of-"factness" in which they are said. He doesn't encourage us to be a light or pray for us to desire it. He doesn't tell us to set ourselves up on a hill or stop hiding. Instead, He reiterates to all those who claim Him what they actually are: a light and a city.

A light will naturally shine. It can't help itself. As long as power is running through it, light will emit from it. It goes the same for those who are in Christ. Because of who He is, Christ can't help but shine. He is too wonderful, good, loving, holy (the list goes on) for people not to see Him. Therefore His people have no choice but to shine forth His glory. We can't help it. Of course there are days when the light is shaded by our failures and stumbles. This will continue as long we live in this fallen world. However, Christ shines nonetheless. We are the light because He is the light. It is impossible for us to separate ourselves from this.

A city naturally stands out from its surroundings. I can't think of a time where I accidentally stumbled upon a city. I always see it coming miles before I actually reach it. There are too many lights, tall buildings, and other wonders to see past them. Again, it is the same for those who are in Christ. Christ is the city. In the Old Testament there were cities that displayed the greatness of its rulers and those which provided a haven to those in need of protection. Christ represents both types. He is the physical display of the Father's glory, while being the refuge for those needing healing and rest. As ambassadors of Christ with His Spirit dwelling in us, we are those cities as well. We put God's glory on display by worshiping Him in all we do. We offer refuge to those in need by caring for all their needs. Of course there are days when our crime and corruption seem to dominate our city. This will continue until we are given our new bodies. However, we are still the city where Christ is King.

My trip to India is wrapped around my status as a light and a city. I pray all those who meet me will see Christ shining through me. As John the baptist said, "He must increase, but I must decrease." (3:30). He is going to shine regardless, but there is incredible blessings to be had when we let ourselves be the ones He is shining through.

Merry Christmas

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.

~Luke 1:21

This has everything to do with my trip to India. God is going to save people according to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross for our sins through the power of the Holy Spirit. We celebrate His birth today knowing what it would eventually accomplish thirty years later on the cross and in an empty tomb. We are free from sin and members of the family of God.

Merry Christmas!

hurting

I rarely venture out to the stores this close to Christmas. I try to have my shopping done at least one week before because people can get very nasty and impatient as Christmas gets closer. Sadly enough I heard one person say they couldn't wait until the day was over because then it would be done with (what happens when we put all the focus on the gifts instead of the Gift we have already been given). Having said that, there is one reason why I don't mind a quick stop for a few items. It is nearly guaranteed that I will see at least one person I haven't seen in a long time at one of my stops. Today proved this concept true once again.

I ran into a former boss from my high school days. He could be a tough man at times, but there was always a sense of genuine concern about those working for him. After telling him my plans for this upcoming year (and beyond) I asked him how things were going for him. Immediately his demeanor changed to somber and sorrowful. As it turns out his wife has been struggling with stage 4 breast cancer for quite some time now. Life for his family has stopped altogether as they attempt to care for their sick wife/mother. I offered him what little encouragement I could, but promised to keep his wife in my prayers. He said he appreciated it, because she could definitely use them. My mom, who was with me, chimed in about praying for him too as he struggles with caring and remaining strong for the rest of his family members. At this the tears couldn't be held back any longer. My mom gave him a hug as we shook hands once more before we departed. I looked into his tear-soaked eyes, which screamed of intense pain and anguish over his wife's ailing health. My heart let out a prayer for this man searching for a glimmer of hope.

What does this have to do with India? I really did not think much of anything until I thought of the look in this man's eyes as we left. That same look will be present in the eyes of many of the children who will cross my path. There will be children abused, entrenched in an empty, hopeless belief system, sick, lost, and everything else imaginable. They will be looking for me to provide the hope they need to press on. I myself cannot provide it, but Jesus Christ can. This is what I will bring to them. It's really all I have to offer.

Personally, I don't know if I am ready for this. Last year I spent rides home in tears over the broken lives of my students. I didn't know how to comfort them aside from loving them in the Spirit. While that's enough, it still breaks my heart. I desire nothing more than to see the agony and brokenness relieved. I know for a fact that many of my own tears will be shed over the next two months. I am naturally a more emotional person who wears everything on his sleeve. My prayer is for strength and daily reminders of God's promises through the tough times. If they weigh heavily on my heart, then I will be able to impress them upon the hearts of the Indian children longing for Christ and all that He offers.

And may this Christmas season remind us to pray for those around us who are broken and hurting. Joy is not easily found regardless of the season when our world around us lies in chaos. It only comes as we celebrate Christ's coming to redeem our world of chaos through His sacrifice on the cross and resurrection three days later. Here in lies the hope we have not only for this life, but also the one to come.

2 weeks...

...from now I will be on a plane heading for India (with a small stop in London). I am excited beyond words about what God is going to do over the next couple of months. As a build up I thought about posting every day until I leave in regards to some aspect of my trip. At this point, I have no idea if I have enough material to do this. But you can't ever know unless you try, so here goes nothing.

To prepare for this trip I was given a document filled with various bits of information about the country, its culture, and its people. One section briefly discussed Gandhi given his prophet-like status in the country. A Christian missionary once asked Gandhi how the gospel of Jesus Christ could spread into a country so heavily dominated by Hinduism. His response was as followed,

"...I would suggest you study the non Christian religions and cultures more sympathetically in order to find the good that is in them, so that you might have a more sympathetic approach to the people."

While this response has flaws in it, the principle behind it is one for any Christian seeking to reach people with the gospel. More often than not our witnessing attempts lack sympathy. We think people are crazy for believing the things they do. Sometimes we judge or look down on them because our minds can't wrap themselves around why anyone would believe a particular thing. Atheists, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, agnostics, Mormons (the list goes on) are not nut-jobs in need of medication. They are sinners in need of God's saving grace. Sympathizing with them doesn't mean agreeing with people or accepting their belief as "working" for them. What it does entail is listening and responding with compassion. We try to understand where they are coming from, what they are looking for, and then shed light on how the gospel applies. Basically, we need to use our ears and minds before we use our mouths.

I am not an expert, but I have spent time researching Hinduism. It is a very complex religion with heavy emphasis on family and works. These things are not bad in and of themselves. Christians also place high value on family (both physical and spiritual) and works (as evidence, not the basis, for our salvation. It is aspects such as these which provide a window into which the gospel can be woven. We can take what is noteworthy and explain how the gospel can redeem it for God's glory and our good. Our approach will seem less bombarding and more compassionate. Our listeners will see our love and desire for people and not proving ourselves correct.

con carne

For my Spanish speaking readers my title is fairly easy to interpret. "Con" means with while "carne" means meat. Put them together, and the title of my post is "with meat." Why? Good question.

When speaking about the Incarnation of Christ pastor Mark Driscoll would always use chili as his reference point. He would make a joke about chili isn't quite as wonderful without meat. Therefore he would use the phrase "con carne" to simplify the miracle of Christ taking on flesh while retaining His divinity. Just like chili with meat is still chili only with something added on.

The Incarnation of Christ is the reason why Christmas is in the top three of Christian holidays. The Incarnation must be a reality in order for Good Friday and Easter to have any significance (which is the same for the others as well. We can't have one without the rest). The other day I read Packer's chapter about the wonderful mystery of the Incarnation. Given the time of year, I enjoyed it even more. It was a pleasant reminder of the full weight of that Christmas morning roughly 2,000 years ago.

As Packer put it, nothing in fiction is so fantastic as is this truth of the Incarnation. Reflecting on the full scope of the Incarnation does reveal something utterly fantastic. There aren't words or thoughts that can be used to capture the full magnitude of it, but our worship should be all the more joyous because of it. God entered into time as a human, leaving the glory and honor constantly surrounding Him in heaven. He came to be the perfect sacrificial Lamb in full submission to the Father's will. Through Him God is glorified, His name vindicated, and our sin atoned for. I am confident no writer could construe a story as wonderful as this.

Another reason Packer gives for its wonderfulness is its incomprehensible nature. The Incarnation makes every other truth about Christ believable. Because God becoming a man, yet remaining God, is such an outrageous concept all the other mysteries can make sense. In Packer's words, Once we grant that Jesus was divine, it becomes unreasonable to find difficulty in any of this (atonement, resurrection, miracles, etc); it is all of a piece and hangs together completely. The Incarnation is in itself an unfathomable mystery, but it makes sense of everything else that the New Testament contains.

Simply put, this is the time of year when we celebrate the unfathomable. And this unfathomable mystery proves to be a wonderful display of grace.

take with a grain of salt

Typically, my ramblings on the sports world aren't found here. If you are really interested in my point of view then tap into the phone conversations between my brother and I. They are a real treat. Secretly we dreamed on doing sports radio together, but thus far our dream is yet to become a reality. We can't find anyone that interested in listening to our musings about everything sports. I think they'll come around eventually.

The real point I wanted to make today revolved around the Phillies signing of Cliff Lee. As a lifelong (only 24 years compared to my dad) Phillies fan, I spent a good part of today rationalizing the signing and giggling like a boy at the thought of a Halladay, Lee, Oswalt, and Hamels rotation. From a baseball perspective, it's borderline inconceivable. Philadelphia is not supposed to experience this kind of euphoria from their teams, especially the Phillies.

As I listened to sports radio at work, I kept hearing about Lee leaving money "on the table" in order to return to the Phillies. To be fair, he is making $120 million over the next 5 or 6 years. There is no threat to his overall well being by taking "less" money. However, I still give the guy credit.

Not many athletes will sacrifice money for anything, even winning. Yesterday's athletes might have, but not today's. They are too pampered, glorified, and, even, worshiped to say no when someone "shows them the money!" (see Jason Werth for an example) Lee chose to head to a place where he could use his very skilled talents to help a team win. He didn't want a stage where everyone could see him. While this will inevitably happen, the guy simply wants to play with a group of players dedicated to winning. I see nothing wrong with that. In the today's world of sports, I actually find it somewhat respectable. It is a breath of fresh air, if you will, in this stale, self-glorifying microcosm of society.

what did he say?

I was absent from my home church this morning due to my niece's baptism. In the sermon the phrase "put the 'Herod' back in Christmas" ushered from the lips of God's servant. My ears perked up almost instantly.

Typically we hear people talking about putting Christ back into Christmas instead of "replacing" Him with a subtle X. (Personally I see no problem with the X because long before people used it to "remove" Christ, X was understood to be an abbreviation for "chi," which stands for Christ in Greek. The X simply made copying easier for the scribes in the olden days. I actually find the use of the X in today's culture to be rather ironic. God must chuckle when we do things like this with the mindset that somehow we have finally fooled Him. Ah, the foolishness of man.) Anyways, putting Herod back into Christmas seems awfully close to heresy or some other gross error. He was a wicked tyrant who killed multiple members of his own family in order to preserve his kingship. Why would a tyrant be an important piece to remember in the Christmas story (and the redemption story at that)?

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. ~Isaiah 9:6-7

One sentence interpretation: Jesus Christ came, lived, left, and will come again as King, the only King. Matthew tells us that Herod knew this. He decision to put to death all males born in Bethlehem was a reaction of terror and fear. He feared the One "born king of the Jews." This King would overthrow Herod before Herod knew what hit him. Obviously, Jesus did not lead a revolt against the established authority, but He did something much greater. He life, death, and resurrection placed Him as King over all of creation once and for all, subsequently declaring every earthly authority utterly powerless against Him.

Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. ~Philippians 2:9-11

This King is the one born to a virgin and placed in an animal's feeding trough. To an extent our reaction should equal Herod's. Our hearts should tremble at the coming of this King. He may seem weak, but the Bible is clear about His absolute sovereignty over all creation (see Colossians 1:15-20). This includes the lives of both those who submit and rebel against Him. For those who submit, how much of your life do you allow Christ to reign over, all or parts? He's not a King who shares authority, but demands all of it. He is deserves that much considering who He is AND all that He has done for His rebellious people. For those who rebel, would you rather submit to His Kingship now or when you have no other choice? As stated by Paul in the above passage, all will recognize His Kingship. It's simply a matter of when.

So in this Christmas season, let us rejoice that Immanuel (God with us) has come. We no longer must live under the yoke of sin and slavery. Let us also confess where Christ is not King in our hearts and start living as if He was. Then let us rejoice because His Kingdom is forever, and He is a good, gracious, and loving King.

an early Christmas present

I received a present in the mail from a friend I made over the course of last school year. This particular gentlemen is a retired educator who spent last year as a volunteer in my classroom. His original purpose was to aid in whatever ways I needed throughout the day. By the end of the year, he was running small groups or working one-on-one with students who needed some extra help and attention. As rigorous as last year was, his presence made the days easier, if even by only a small margin.

As the year progressed, his activity picked up as well as his pen. He would document various episodes which occurred (both good and bad), type them up, and give them for me to read over. I think he wanted me to read it for pleasure, but I liked to use them as an informal observation of how I handled things in my classroom, both positively and negatively. Sometimes I would come away challenged, while others times encouraged by my progress. It was another unexpected blessing God gave me as I labored through each day.

Well, my friend decided to take all his documents and transpose them into a memoir of sorts. I believe his hope was to aid educators near and far by providing a glimpse into a specific classroom. The final result is roughly 150 pages of the journey my students and I went on last year. Some of the chapters revolved around my interactions with them, while others are more isolated to particular students. I am looking forward to bringing this book along with my to India as a pleasant stroll down one of the hardest years of my life (to this point).

If you would like to borrow it at some point, I can lend it out. If you would like to purchase it for yourself (yup, I figured I would help him advertise) look for The Village of Poe by Clifton Dwight Edwards. Hopefully, it can be a blessing to all who read it. I know it will be one for me.

the study of God

(from the preface to Knowing God by J.I. Packer)

...ignorance of God-ignorance both of his ways and of the practice of communion with him-lies at the root of much of the church's weaknesses today (p.12).

(and his one-sentence solution)

The highest science, the loftiest speculation, the mightiest philosophy, which can ever engage the attention of a child of God, is the name, the nature, the person, the work, the doings, and the existence of the great God whom he calls Father (p.17)

Where am I ignorant, indifferent, or simply uninterested when it comes to God?

bear witness

On this, the 2nd week of the advent season, portions of John 1 were read to remind us of John the Baptist's involvement in the coming of Christ. A verse I read maybe hundreds of times over jumped out at me as I listened this morning.

He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. ~John 1:8

John had one purpose during the time gifted him by God: bear witness to Christ. He wasn't there to start a revolution or gain a following. His very words to the religious folk around him was a testament to that truth.

I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, "Make straight the way of the Lord" ~John 1:23

What jumped out at me was my general attitude towards my purpose as a follower of Christ. Jesus does tell His followers that they are "the light of the world." We are called to let our light shine to those around us so they "may see our good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Unfortunately, my pride tends to place me in the position of the source of that light. I think I am the one who is shining instead of the indwelling Spirit. I need an attitude like that of John the Baptist.

I am expected to bear witness to the light. When it is faithfully shining through me, I give the credit to the Spirit for I know what I am capable of in my own strength. I don't shine forth in order to hear the praises of men or ignite a cause to take the world by storm. I shine to glorify the name of Jesus Christ. I shine to see Him gain the praises of men and take this world by storm.

here comes the bride

I have the privilege and blessing to be a part of the wedding celebration for a close friend this weekend. Tonight is the rehearsal with the actual ceremony being tomorrow afternoon. I used to be impartial to weddings. I knew I would enjoy celebrating, but I never had much anticipation heading into them (besides when the couple was family and/or close friends). Now I look forward to each and every one I get to be involved in, whether as a member of the bridal party or one of the guests. Some of it has to do with the couple, but most of it centers around the beautiful picture of what awaits those who are in Christ Jesus.

"Hallelujah!

For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory,

for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready;

it was granted to her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure..."

And the angel said to me, "Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb."

~Revelation 19:6-9

One day the Bride of Christ (the Church) will finally be ready for her wedding day. Until then, we continue to make ourselves ready by working out our salvation through the power of the Spirit. On that day, we will be in full reality what we already are (because of Jesus Christ) before the throne of God: bright and pure. All of our imperfections will be removed completely. We will be the immaculate bride dressed in white. Our groom will be Jesus Christ ready to usher us into His presence for all of eternity.

Weddings on earth provide a glimpse into our hope. We see the establishment of an everlasting covenant, joyful celebrating, reuniting with friends from long ago, worshiping of God, the presentation of a bride, and so much more. It should cause us to sit on the edge of seats and long for the day when we will be united forever with our Groom who gave Himself up for us.

new and improved

I got sick of the design for my blog. It was a bit dull and unattractive. Unfortunately, my colorblindness limits my creativity, but this should suffice. The background picture is one I took in Utah. It is the dry ground right before the rain. I loved the exposed earth with veins spreading everywhere. Then, when the rain comes the earth soaks it in with every ounce of strength it has left.

I want that depiction to be my view towards Christ. I am the dry, rain deprived earth. Regardless of how often I am spending intimate time with Him, I always want room for more. Given my upcoming winter plans (and every day for the rest of my life), I pray what David prayed in Psalm 63 everyday.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

time is short

I struggled over whether or not to write this post. I know a handful of people wrestling with the reality of death, and I do not want to diminish their pain. Death is a hard, unnatural (result of the Fall) reality of life.

I recently made my way through the accident chapters of Choosing to See. Even without knowing the Chapman family, my heart was wrenching over the pain facing them. I cannot fathom losing a child, let alone in the horrific manner in which they did. In addition to dealing with the permanent absence of a loved daughter and sister, various members are wrestling over the immense guilt for how the accident transpired. As I read, I couldn't help but pray for this family and other families dealing with pain such as this. However, the hope, faith, and trust the Chapman family expresses in Jesus Christ is a beautiful display of the Holy Spirit's power.

As much as I cried when reading the expressions of pain, I cried just as much in their expressions of hope. This isn't to say they aren't hurting. What's different is how they hurt. They do so knowing full well the guarantee of seeing their daughter and sister again. It doesn't negate the pain, but it redeems it. Our God of redemption is demonstrating His ability to take every horrible situation and redeem it for His glory and our benefit. Mary Beth acknowledges the immense growth in the life of her family as individuals and as a unit through their pain. That is nothing short of a miracle.

I guess this story resonated with me because of what lies ahead of me. As much as I am excited to head off to India, there is a level of trepidation as well. Part of my trip will involve bringing the gospel to places it has never reached. I have no idea how the residents will respond. Even while I am closer to the camp headquarters, there is still no absolute certainty about my security. As this realization began to set in, God reminded me of the very same reality here in the states. I have no guarantee of my next breath. As Psalm 139:16 says, in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me. God already has the day when I will see Him face to face stamped out. There is nothing I can do to change that. Personally, that eliminates any thought of God being out of control. Whenever (and however) I leave this earth is exactly how He planned it to be before my life even began. That's actually comforting to know and trust in.

This concept has transformed my prayers over the past few days. Before the focus of my physical prayers was preventing injury and other discomforts. While there is nothing wrong with praying for these things (see Christ's prayer in the garden), I am omitting God's will in those areas. For all I know, He might allow me to get sick to bring about something I did not expect. He might have ordained one of those days over there to be my last (or one of the days before I leave for that matter). In light of this, my prayers are more centralized to asking for His will to be done in all phases of my trip. I want my health to go according to His will. I want my travel to go according to His will. I want my strength to go according to His will. Of course, I would thoroughly enjoy His will being the same as my wishes. But if they aren't I will rest in the fact that His will is always best. As Paul says in Philippians 1:21, for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. When we neglect this truth, we open ourselves up to bitterness and false accusations against God. Every fiber of our lives belongs to Christ. He can (and will) do with it whatever brings glory to the Father. I pray my trip is nothing but a display of God's glory. Whether I return in a similar condition or not at all, God will be glorified. And I will be blessed.

giving thanks

Throughout Scripture we are called to give thanks. We are to give thanks for the blessings we have received as well as the circumstances we find ourselves in. Basically we are called to give thanks in everything. Today is simply the day where we make sure it is the focus and attitude of our hearts. For those who are in Christ everyday is Thanksgiving. I don't mean that in a cheesy, life is just peachy manner. Obviously there are days when it is very hard to be thankful. However, at the very least (and I don't mean least by any means) our salvation always lies in the hands of the One who does not let go. He is faithful when we are not, and that is worthy of much thanks!

Happy Thanksgiving!

singing

I enjoy singing. It probably goes back to my days in high school where I was a member of the choir. At the time I participated in it because it guaranteed an "A" without requiring any work beyond showing up. Looking back, I realize how my appreciation for music and song blossomed. There are times today when I miss singing/listening to songs in at least four-part harmony (don't get me started on the excitement that occurs when the four parts split up). Back to the point of this post, singing should be an important part of the life of a Christian. The Bible is littered with examples and commands for God's children to sing praises to Him. We should be excited to do so whether we are the greatest singer or someone can't find a tune no matter how had they try.

As I am wrapping up my tour of the Old Testament, I stumbled upon one of my favorite verses in all of Scripture. It provides a glimpse into eternity while showing us one more reason why we should sing.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. ~Zephaniah 3:17

One day, God will sing over His children. Now I have heard my fair share of good singers, but the thought of God's voice in song gives me the chills. Not only will He be singing, but His song will be sung over His children. It will be like when my mom would sing to me as a little boy, only with the greatest song and voice possible (sorry mom). This fills me with an eagerness to be in His presence listening for all of eternity. But until then, I sing to Him with all that He has given me!

I stole the book Choosing to See from my mother after it was lent to her. (I have given it back to let her finish since) For those who aren't familiar, it the story of Steven Curtis Chapman's wife, Mary Beth. It details her growing pains as well as the recent loss of her daughter during a freak accident in the family's driveway. I am not quite halfway through, and I am eager to finish it once my mom is done first. The book is an honest look into a lifelong wrestling match between God and one of His children.

At one part in the book, Chapman wrote about the struggles of being in the limelight give the popularity of her husband's music. As someone heading into ministry, I often struggle with trying to get my life perfect in order to show everyone around me that I am "qualified." I went everything to appear in order. Then I don't have to worry about any questions or challenges I may have in regards to my calling. To that thought Chapman wrote this,

People need to know that Christian leaders…preachers…whoever, are as cracked and broken as the next person. Maybe more so. Hopefully they are in positions of leadership, though, because they are serious about following Christ, and so people can see that real success in the kingdom of God is not about being strong and looking good and knowing all the right answers. It’s about continually yielding oneself to Jesus and determining to take purposeful steps of obedience, and the ragged reality that it’s all about God and His grace at work in us. ~Mary Beth Chapman Choosing to See pp. 70

Without a doubt, I am cracked and broken. Equally true, the Spirit works in spite of this. God's grace is greater and more powerful than anything I can imagine.

there and back again

It's been roughly three months since I made the decision to leave teaching and pursue God's leading in ministry. I have yet to experience any regret, and, hopefully, I won't at all. In fact, the past few months have brought along a overwhelming sense of peace. Life's not perfect, but where God has me right now is where I am certain He wants me. My prayer is to stay in that spot even as I move forward over the next few months and years.

Recently, however, I have grown frustrated with my lack of time and energy. Most of my frustration revolves around the absence of quality time being spent with the One who is leading me. My mornings start on the earlier side while my evenings end on the later. In between I never seem to have enough time to complete all the things I want. My desire to leave teaching one year earlier was supposed to give me time to seek God's will more actively, without as many distractions. I would be able to read, pray, study, write, meditate, fast (on occasions), serve, and a lot more with all this time. Everything started on that track until I quickly started filling up my empty time slots with an assortment of different activities.

Starting late last week, God started showing me reasons why I was so tired and void of any motivation to seek after Him throughout the course of my day. As I have been observing, comfort and control have slowly reentered the scene, particularly in the area of finances. I have more than enough to pay my bills, but I want more for the future. One of the strongest pulls I felt from God for this year was to let go of my desire for control in all areas of my life. When I did I felt liberated, but over the past few months I have allowed it to bind me once again.

A significant portion of my time these days is centered on making as much money as I can. My motives for doing so are not wrong. I won't be working for roughly three months. I need to start saving up so I can pay for seminary. My car is going to die any day now, and I don't want to be stranded. However, these motivations are trumping my motivation to spend time with my heavenly Father. He is the only One who can satisfy all my needs (Matthew 6:25-34). I started off with this being my goal. Now I am learning how much work and perseverance it requires to see that goal become a reality.

number one

Today is this young lady's first birthday. She looks a lot older than this picture, but this pretty much captures how we spend our times together. As uncle, I get to play the role of entertainer. I read books, stack cups, roll balls, and, occasionally, push the swing. As she continues to get older I enjoy the new things she is able to do. Talking is there, but not quite understandable and walking is right around the corner. I am looking forward to watching her grow and seeing how God brings her to Himself. Happy Birthday Lydia (even though you can't read this)!

a prayer for me...and you

I love the gospel! With each and every passing day, I am learning to love it more. Beyond that, I love the God who orchestrated it in eternity past. His sending of Christ to pay the penalty for my open rebellion against Him in the most wonderful thing I have ever heard. But it doesn't stop there. Not only am I offered forgiveness, I am but gifted Christ's righteousness and God's Spirit to give me a passion to live the way I was originally created to live. This is the gospel I am excited to share with the children of India two months from today. We had a team meeting this morning where I learned two of the camp sites we are heading to have never heard the gospel of Jesus Christ. God is graciously allowing me to join Him in proclaiming His salvation to a place kept in the dark for all this time. What a humbling thought!

During a brief devotional we read a passage reminding of us what we should be praying for as we prepare for our trip. However, I felt even more convicted to be praying this prayer as I interact with people here. My excitement to share the gospel cannot rest in India alone. There are multitudes of people needing to hear the same message, and it's our (why the prayer is for you too) job to proclaim it.

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison-that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

~Colossians 4:2-6

Election Day

The importance of this day reminded me off something Tim Keller said in his book Counterfeit Gods. I think it speaks directly to what many will be feeling by the end of today/tomorrow morning.

When either party wins an election, a certain percentage of the losing side talks openly about leaving the country. They become agitated and fearful for the future. They have put the kind of hope in their political leaders and policies that once was reserved for God and the work of the gospel. When their political leaders are out of power, they experience a death. They believe that if their policies and people are not in power, everything will fall apart. They refuse to admit how much agreement they actually have with the other party, and instead focus on the points of disagreement. The points of contention overshadow everything else, and a poisonous environment is created. (pp.99)

Later he goes on to speak about Christians remembering that sin, and not political parties, are the real problem in this world. Therefore, we can't expect everything to be turned around by those we vote into power. Our hope for redemption always comes through the gospel. Declaring doomsday as a result of any election is undermining the problem of sin and telling the world that the gospel is void of any real power.

diligence

It is wonderfully true what Paul writes. We are no longer under the law, but grace thanks to Christ's death on the cross. There is nothing we can do to earn God's love and favor. We have all of it in Christ. However, Paul also warns us not to view the grace of God as a security blanket in which we can sin all we want without any fear of the consequences. God's grace should actually do the opposite. We should be drawn to flee from sin in loving response for all that God has done for us. Grace motivates us to obey through a heart of thanksgiving.

Therefore obedience remains a vital sign of one who follows after Christ. No one can declare their love of Him, and then proceed to indulge in all the sins He has clearly told us to abstain from. It doesn't mean we don't slip and fall for the sin nature remains in us until the day we meet Him face to face. It does mean we aren't swan diving into sin or letting it reign over us.

Whenever God spoke to His people He reminded them of the commandments they were expected to follow. He knew the importance of them, which is why He repeatedly told them what He expected. Israel's continual falling away was a direct result of not listening to His words. This is why called emphasized the work it takes to obey.

You shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies and his statutes, which he has commanded you. ~Deuteronomy 6:17 (emphasis mine)

Obedience it not passive. It is an active exercise of the will. We can't expect to remain standing by occasionally reminding ourselves of God's standards or flirting with our sins. We need diligence. We need to pursue His Word our firm foundation. We need to daily choose following Him. We need to pray for the strength keep walking. We need to pray for diligence.

India updates

First a note of thanks to those who have given financially to help support my trip as well as those who have dedicated themselves to praying for me. Rather quickly I have seen the faithful hand of God in action. It's exciting to be a part of.

This past week I received back my Indian visa, clearing me for the entirety of my trip. There was a small mix-up with one of my proofs, but a quick fax from church cleared that up in less than 24 hours. From the legal standpoint, I am ready for my trip.

My ticket is nearing its purchase date as well. I received an email from the LCMI secretary giving me an update on the ticket status. As it turns out, the round-trip ticket will cost between $250-350 cheaper than budgeted. Another example of God's graciousness at work.

The discount will prove to be vital as the length of my trip has been extended by 2-3 weeks. I talked with Sanjay a few weeks ago about staying on to help train some of the native Indians in their knowledge of the basics of the faith. That way the different cities will have biblically trained people ready to meet with the children once the camps are over. My staying will all depend upon my fundraising, but the news of a cheaper flight is one step towards staying longer. I am eager to see how God makes this happen if it is His will.

The next step for me is getting my vaccinations. Personally, I am not at all fond of shots, but they are a necessary evil. I am still trying to figure which I need to get, and which I can be a little bit more flexible with. All in all the finer details of the trip are lining up rather well. For those who are praying, my funds, prayer support, and vaccinations are the biggest hurdles still facing me. God has been faithful thus far, and I look forward to seeing Him continue in His faithfulness.

Today is that guy's birthday. As you might be able to guess, when the two of us get together bad things happen (well at least bad things for my sister). We cause mass amounts of mayhem and chaos for all parties involved. There is no stopping us one we get each other rolling. Sometimes it is silly physical stunts while other times brilliant displays of our combined intelligence. We are just like a box of chocolates, "you never know what you're gonna get."

Technically Aaron is my brother-in-law seeing that he married my sister. The reality of the situation is that he is my second brother. He has been amidst our family for more than ten years, and we have established a relationship which is both fun and faith oriented. We exchange emails about things we are reading or specific lessons God is teaching us. As I made my decision to leave teaching, head to India, and then start seminary Aaron was an active member of my "braintrust." I respect his opinion and counsel because I know full well he is rooted firmly in God's Word. Those are the types of people whose value will never be known until we see the other side of eternity.

This will be Aaron's first birthday as a father. His daughter is nearly one year, but she was born shortly after his birthday last year. It is a joy to watch him interact with his daughter, displaying the love of His Father to her. His job keeps him very busy, but his passion for his family resonates in spite of that. He is another example for me of how to be a faithful husband and father to the family God blesses His children with.

(He's also a real treat to scooter with too).

think I'll go to Boston

I spent this past weekend traveling with a good friend to Boston. We went with the purpose of visiting a mutual good friend who returned to that area after graduation. For those from the Harleysville area, we hit up the Old Dutch Cupboard for some sugary sweets before embarking upon our voyage. We nearly polished off the entire supply by the end of our weekend, leaving only a few morsels in the center console for future snacking.

In the past, I probably would have balked at my friend's idea to drive out to Boston because I tended to be lazy and not easily motivated. I behaved that way for a majority of my college career, which, sadly, made me miss out on some great opportunities and experiences. Given the "here and there" coaster ride of the past three years, I have become less infatuated with avoiding opportunities to visit friends (even if they live farther than I would like to travel). God has blessed me with such an abundance of gospel-driven, God-honoring friends that I am excited about spending time with them whenever a chance comes along. My life is a testament to the value of true Christian community, which is why I was eager to make a trip up to Boston. (Despite the fact of it being the home of the Boston Redsox).

My time in Boston was nothing too fancy.

We toured the city,

indulged in some of the local favorites,

and caught up with our lives as we walked about.

It was a stress-free weekend from start to finish (minus the moments are unnecessary traffic delays). During the evenings, we watched baseball and discussed anything we may have missed during the day. For me, I got to talk basketball with one of the few people I know who still love the NBA, and follow it whenever they can. As I leave opportunities like these, I am grateful to God for the wonderful blessings of friends. He could have made us able to live in isolation. Instead He made us relational. It is certainly true that He is all we need, but He didn't make Himself all we get. Friends are another sign of the abundance God pours out upon His children for reasons still unknown to us.

my own benefit

Just in case anyone notices the lack of changes to my reading list, I confess I am in the midst of another reading slump. I've been in the battling it for roughly three weeks though some of it is due to outside influences. Phillies games tend to keep me up later than usual. Instead of heading to bed a bit early for the purpose of reading, I go to bed ready for sleep because being a fan can be rather taxing. Thankfully a lack of reading outside material is not detrimental. It is, however, like missing old friends. I plan of visiting them soon, I promise.

When the Phillies aren't playing I've been using my pre-sleep time for writing. This isn't new for me. I like to write about an assortment of things whenever I feel motivated. What is different is my writing has become a project. Two weeks ago I began writing a treatise on corporate worship. It continues to be a "hot button" issue for many churches especially when it comes to the music. My interest lies in the music, as well as all the other aspects of corporate worship. Everything done in those moments revolves around the glory and exaltation of our God. Anything we feel, gain, or enjoy is secondary. Sometimes we miss this concept. Services are often structured more for following tradition or creating comfort than bringing God's people together to declare His greatness to all. This makes me sad more than anything. God's glory should provide us with enough passion to make every worship service a God-filled experience.

To be honest I began my treatise (I really like that word) with an audience in mind. My main goal was not to gather information for my own engagement in corporate worship. Graciously the Spirit demonstrated, once again, the teachable and correctable nature of God's Word (2 Timothy 3:16). As I am reading, studying, and writing I am constantly convicted of my posture in worship. Am I joining together with God's people to give glory? Am I excited when God's greatness in put on display for all to see? Am I allowing the Spirit to move regardless of how I feel or the service is geared? On Sunday, the Spirit challenged me with those questions in the midst of my singing. He drew me back to some of the passages from my studying to alter my worship. Where I thought I would be teaching others, God's intent was to teach me. Personally, I love that about our God!

a (false)gospel experience

Who knew the local supermarket would be the setting for some false gospel proselytizing? I mean things can get pretty deep fairly quickly when perusing the bakery section, but during the consumption of a box of Mike'n'Ikes is surprising. In all seriousness I was caught off guard by the close proximity of this false gospel to my home. We like to think of situations like these being reserved for places "out there" without ever realizing they are right next door as well.

The conversation started simply with a man sharing some investment "wisdom" with my friend and I as we sat in the cafe section of the store. We appeased him by acting interested as he told us the wonderful benefits of buying stocks in gold and other metals. "Your yield increases by 300 percent," was the main pull of his presentation. As he carried on, we excused ourselves for some free coffee and cake samples at the other end of the store. On the trek over we discussed the focus of this man's life being money. He wanted more of it, but he also want us to get our hands on it as well. With no eagerness to head back to the table, we meandered up and down all the aisles trying to rehash our the conversation we had going before the lecture on gold stocks.

To avoid being the creepy guys who wander aimlessly around a grocery store we decided to head back to the table. Here is where the fun began. Apparently he was preparing to lay out all the cards while we took our recess. Suddenly we were being told how it was God's will for us to hear what he had to say because we needed to become rich like this particular gentleman. He sought after God's "prophets" for financial wisdom and was reaping the benefits. Apparently, he believed himself to be a "prophet" for the two of us. Before we knew it, we were encouraged to (and judge for not) take(ing) care of the widowed, needy, and fatherless. (Before I go any further, those are things the Bible says Christians are to do. I could serve those with less much more than I am now.) The encouragement was for monetary gain, while the judgment for our appearance as not overly wealthy men. According to this man, we were doing an adequate job, but there was significant room for improvement.

From here the conversation felt like I was warping from one Bible verse to another. Nearly all we taken out of context or interpreted contrary to what the rest of the Bible teaches. We were told Jesus was rich through the gifts of the magi; Abraham's blessing was riches beyond comprehension; the universe is ever expanding because the "true" followers of God are getting richer; prosperity in the Bible always refers to material possessions; shalom refers to peace in terms of our satisfaction with material possessions; and pleasing God by serving the poor is the best way to boost your savings account. We were indoctrinated to the "health and wealth" gospel to the nth degree. God is the magic genie who grants us all our wishes when we rub Him the right way.

Besides the sheer abuse of Scripture, what struck me most about our conversation was how little of a conversation it was. At first, I sat back listening to what this man was saying. I wanted to be "slow to speak," but more importantly "slow to become angry." I processed what he was saying with what I believe God declares in His Word. Eventually, my friend and I started chiming in.

"Wasn't Christ poor while on earth? Didn't he talk about having no place to rest his head? Didn't he pay taxes by fishing"

"What about Paul? He was beaten, worked for his living, went hungry, and had nearly nothing to his name. He talked about suffering a lot?"

"God's blessings aren't necessarily material things. Sure, He does give material things to His children, but there is no guarantee. He tells us to trust in Him for our basic needs, but doesn't tell us to serve Him in order to gain the rest"

"Doesn't the Bible warn us about suffering? We are told to expect it. Sometimes suffering has nothing to do with our sin or lack of devotion. If God wants us to be rich then what is the purpose of suffering?"

Unfortunately, as we asked these questions the answers never came. Instead, they were ignored or explained without any logical or coherent explanation at all. I wish I would have thought even more because the man had no regard for the problem of sin or the reason why Christ came at all. I would be interested to hear his take on these things. It can be hard coming back to those two issues when the conversation isn't directly centered around them. But his belief was based on a misunderstanding or complete ignorance of those two points. He talked about religion being bad because it makes us do things in order to gain a right standing before God. For some reason, serving God by serving others merely for the gain of material possessions is a better alternative. I would rather be concerned with the state of the souls of those around me than their bank account status. I serve God because of what He has already done on the cross, and not for what I can get out of Him.

As we left, I told the man that Wednesday night was the set day my friend and I usually meet. I'm sure he would love to talk with us as much as we would love talk with him. The difference is I could care less about how much money he is worth.

time to think

I spend a good portion of my days cleaning personal items damaged by fire or flood. While it's not the most exciting job, I do find it somewhat therapeutic. It's low stress, which is always good. It also leaves me a lot of time to think. Occasionally my allergies throw a fit, but they're spoiled anyways. My thoughts while cleaning have very little cohesion. They range all over the map. As a break from the usual posts, I thought I would share some of inner conversations from the past week.

• Why do humans love to hold onto meaningless junk? I have cleaned boxes and boxes full of "prized possessions." Some look like they haven't been touched in years, maybe decades. If I had my way, I would do less cleaning and more pitching. I understand sentimentality, but there's a fine line between that and hording. In addition to that, some of the homes I have journeyed to echo the same sentiment. I'm all for trying to remember the pleasantries of the past as much as anyone else. I still have various items from elementary school up through college. However, remembering the past shouldn't ever hinder our ability to live in the present.
• Right now might be the best time to be a Phillies fan. Regardless of what happens the rest of this postseason, we are living in the golden age of this franchise. We have three legitimate starters through at least next season and a young core to back them up. Our manager is also a genius when it comes to baseball (and not as much when he speaks in public). Having grown up through the Dark Ages of this franchise, it's nice to expect excellence from this team. I know some complain about the growth of the fan-base since 2008, and I can understand their concern. I have had many conversations with people who have no idea who Danny Tartabull, Greg Jefferies, Rico Brogna, Desi Relaford, and Heathcliff Slocumb are. These people probably couldn't even remember watching a game before 2006. While I wish every fan could ride with a team during the low times (see 2010 Carolina Panthers), I won't withhold a high-five or hug just because they jumped on the wagon later. Though I will get mad when they get tickets and I don't.
• The sport's media is ignoring the most pressing issue with the newest Brett Favre scandal. Being a distraction to his team and bad ambassador of the game are points Y and Z. A through X revolve around his failure as a husband and father. Here is a man who three years ago retired to spend more time with his family. After half a year with them, he felt the urge to play again. There was nothing morally wrong with this until this past week. Coming back has cost him his family, regardless of the final outcome. I pray for his wife who must be struggling with feelings of insignificance after her husband decided time with her wasn't satisfying enough to meet his professional and personal needs.
• With the first week of November right around the corner, the democratic process is the highlights of most news stories. Candidates are throwing their last-ditch efforts to get the votes of those on the fence. Unfortunately, they tend to use elementary school tactics in order to do so. Dragging your opponent through the mud is downright classless. If anything it guarantees a candidate to not get my vote. If only the rest of the voters would do the same. Then, maybe we would start to see some of the change we are all praying to see.
• Speaking of change in politics, I would love to see the rise of a legitimate third party in this country. I don't count the Tea Party as one, because they are essentially Republicans with an attitude (see Sarah Palin). The United States was never meant to be a two-party system. In fact, it wasn't meant to be a democratic system until Washington turned down the crown when nearly half the country seized at the thought of it. (He had the army and founding fathers behind him, so it was a legitimate option). I believe a lot of the problems we are facing are a result of the extreme polarization between the two parties. You can't like, agree with, or, even, vote for the other without compromising everything you stand for. Plus, the leaders of both parties are too self-motivated and self-interested to do what's right for our country.
• Hopefully, that's the last time I get into politics again. It's not what brings me joy at all. What does bring me joy? Waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of thunder and sight of lightning. Last night, I watched the storm roll through. It was awesome! The sky lit up like the sun was shining as the rain soaked the earth. Personally, I love that our God displays Himself in such a loud and glorious way.
• I used to hate hot apple cider. I would only take it cold. No exceptions. Over the course of this fall season, the drink has moved up on my favorites list. Add a little cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and nutmeg to that cup of goodness, and I am ready for a nice fall evening. In honor of my friend Chad, that is a nice cup of "hot apple Gary."

the cycle

Sin sucks.

Pardon my bluntness and mild level of vulgarity. But there is no denying the truth of the matter. As one who is redeemed, sin poses an even larger "suckiness" because, as Paul described, I hate and, yet, love it all at the same time. The Spirit within me wants nothing to do with it, but the flesh inside tries to hold on as long as it can. The only cure is to daily crucify the flesh to the Spirit. Unfortunately, that is always easier said than done. I look forward to the day when sin's defeat becomes a physical reality. All praise will be rendered to God like never before on that day!

Until then, I learn to hate, grieve, confess, and learn from my sins. While all are often arduous tasks, I find the grieving part to be the most difficult. Where is the fine line between Godly grief over the horrific nature of our sins and the worldly grief over the consequences and frequency? One leads to confession and worship, while the other opens the door to intense shame. Initial guilt is not necessarily bad because the Spirit can us it to bring us to the point of confession. When left it leads to doubt in regards to the forgiveness, mercy, grace, and love of the Father.

I find myself trying to "play the game" of dealing with my sin. Whether it is revealed to me or a swan dive right into, I immediately start juggling. It starts with a debate about confessing right away or letting it "sick in." Which do I think is the "holier" thing to do? Next comes rehashing the entire scenario again and again. Here guilt makes its home within. This way I can be "truly" sorry for what I done. It's not quite self-mutilation, but it's a close cousin. Finally, I convince myself that I have "suffered" enough. Now I have "proven" my sincerity before God allowing Him the ability to extend the forgiveness and freedom I am looking for. I mean I earned it, right?

This entire cycle is a disgusting twist of the gospel. God doesn't want to play games with me and my sin. He has every right to, but doesn't come down in His wrath over what I have done. Sure, I can be certain that discipline will come, but the motive behind it is altogether radical. He doesn't want to berate or dangle my sins over me until the guilt is too much to bear. He wants to remove them as far as the east from the west. His love and mercy draw me in with a desire to confess and find the freedom I desperately need. His discipline brings liberation not condemnation. He does it because He loves me and knows what's absolutely best for me. In this case confession, redemption, and freedom.

A song, Times, by Tenth Avenue North captures the struggles of my cycle while trumping them with the promises of God through Christ.

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends.

a friend who sticks closer than a brother

"A friend who stinks?!"

"No, a friend who sticks."

"Oh, you mean like glue or peanut butter?"

"Uh, sure."

I remember this from the beginning of a Steve Green song my family used to listen to when we were little. The statement is actually Proverbs 18:24. I used it to close out "the best best-man speech ever" (as coined by a certain bride and groom). Some might have thought I was merely tickling the ears of my brother, but someone sticking closer to me than my brother is hard to imagine. Today is his birthday, only he received his present roughly four months ago. This marks his first birthday as a father. (sorry Lauren I stole your picture)

As a kid I used Proverbs 18:24 as encouragement to keep putting up with the "older brother" musings I was typically the victim of. Either Christ would continually show Himself to be that friend (which He is) or someone would come along to demonstrate the truth behind that passage. Surprisingly, my brother filled that role as we both matured. His view of me changed as well as my view of him and overreactions to his displays of tough love.

Today, my opinion of my brother constantly evolves. I have had multiple opportunities to observe how he handles himself as both as a husband and father. Analyzing my findings reveals a man with nothing but unconditional love for his wife and child. He is willing to sacrifice and serve for the well-being of his family. As a single man with aspirations for a wife and family, I admire him as an example. He provides glimpses of what my heavenly Father is, and what He desires for all men to emulate. If you asked me what I could learn from him fifteen years ago, I probably would have said something along the lines of "nothing too important." Now there's a multitude of things that will last me the rest of my days on earth and all eternity.

the heart of a father

Hosea may be one of the most interesting and unique books in all of Scripture. God's call for Hosea to take a prostitute as his wife knowing she would never stay faithful is beyond perplexing. It appears downright crazy. Honestly, I would have significant trouble following a calling such as that. Feelings of frustration, anger, and bitterness would be expected. I mean isn't there a better (and less painful) way to demonstrate God's faithfulness to His adulterous bride than a real-life scenario?

If I were Hosea, I would have asked if one of those parables couldn't serve the same purpose. It could start something like,

"There once was a man, filled with compassion, who married a prostitute. Again and again, she returned to the empty lifestyle of her past. Again and again, her husband sought her out to bring her back home."

It would go deeper than this with details about the children and the resolve and perseverance of the husband. It could even finish with one of those statements that resonates in the ears of the listeners well after the crowd disperses. Who knows, maybe Hosea held a conversation like with this God after hearing the calling laid out for him. It wouldn't be that far-fetched.

As I keep reading, I am glad God chose to demonstrate His grace, mercy, love, and faithfulness in such a manner. It emphasizes the heart of the God who is both our Father and good husband. The warnings and pleadings depict a God crying out for and pursuing His beloved to until they come home. Hosea 11:1-4, 7-8 is my favorite display of this.

When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. The more they were called, the more they went away; they kept sacrificing to the Baals and burning offerings to idols. Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms, but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of kindness, with bands of love, and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws, and I bent down to them and fed them...My people are bent on turning away from me, and though they call out to the Most High, he shall not raise them up at all. How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I hand you over, O Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender. (ESV, emphasis mine)

Hosea not only heard God speaking these words to His children, but he experienced them himself in the turmoil of his marriage. Here was not a man married to an adulterous woman out of sheer obligation. He loved her in spite of her repeated infidelity. He could have given up on her at any point. Very few people would have held it against him. Instead, he echoed the voice of His Father. He refused to give her up or treat her solely on the basis of her wrongdoings. He was filled with compassion and grace towards his beloved.

Now if this is how a sinner saved by grace dealt with his unfaithful beloved, how much more compassionate and gracious is our God? He didn't just marry us, but formed us into His image. He nurtured us, grew us, healed us, and, most importantly, redeemed us. Yet we still pull away. God doesn't ignore this and will discipline (Hosea 10:10), but as a loving Father who wants the best for His children. He won't give us up, but will repeatedly show us His warmth and tenderness even though we deserve much less.

knowing our weakness

Around this time last year, I dove into the sport's realm (sorry 4thanddone.com for stealing your thunder). I talked about David Robinson's hall-of-fame acceptance speech because it was drastically different from the attitudes of most athletes today. It was gospel-centered in its delivery and message. I was in full support.

Earlier this week, I stumble upon this article featuring Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton. For those unaware he is a recovered alcoholic/drug addict who gave his life over to Christ when he reached the bottom. Since then, he uses his platform as an opportunity to declare the transforming power of the gospel. He has done numerous interviews and documentaries, which I would encourage anyone to seek out.

He looks like the stereotypical ex-con with tattoos just about everywhere. Some he has gotten since coming to Christ while others were the results of his lifestyle. The latter, he says, are daily reminders of where he's been and what he wants desperately to stay away from. One of the more recent tattoos has a list of items numbered by their importance. First is God followed by family with baseball being the fifth of five items. Under the list is an asterisk which says something to the effect of number five being impossible without one through four staying in their correct order. He understands his talents and skills as gifts from God, and he wants nothing more than to please Him with them.

The reason I bring this particular article up in because last year for one night Josh Hamilton fell back into his old lifestyle. Pictures were posted of him at a bar over consuming on alcohol and behaving as such. The media quickly ripped him up given his outspoken message. However, they quickly found out Hamilton had already confessed to his wife, children, friends, coaches, and teammates about the incident the day after it happened. He humbly admitted taking his eyes off Christ as he pursued his glory. His most recent decision reaffirms his commitment to the gospel. It should also be an encouragement to those of us who struggle with an assortment of sins. The Bible says to "resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). Josh Hamilton gave a great example of how to resist well and experience the blessings that come.

lacking knowledge

There is a serious problem in 21st century, western Christianity. It is a problem Israel faced as well. In their case, God intervened for the purpose of discipline and reproof, but eventually took more drastic measures to drive His point home (see Babylonian captivity). Hopefully, we will embrace the humility to heed God's discipline and warning.

When speaking to Israel through Hosea, God said, "there is no faithfulness or steadfast love, and no knowledge of God in the land...my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge...and a people without understanding shall come to ruin. (Hosea 4:1,6, 14)

Of course knowledge has the ability to "puff up" (1 Corinthians 8:1) those who pursue it for the sole purpose of looking better than those around them. Puffing up is a problem in certain places, but I don't see it as rampant as the other end of the spectrum. As we seek out knowledge and understanding, we do need to maintain an attitude of humility or be at risk of the opposition of God (James 4:6).

Simply put, western Christianity lacks knowledge. We don't know God (at least not the one clearly revealed in Scripture). We like to add and take away from Him based on our own experiences and preferences. Israel did the same. They acknowledged His power, love, grace, and mercy while ignoring His holiness, wrath, and supremacy. This gave them the "freedom" to follow other gods, bend God's laws, and take advantage of His grace. Sadly, I see the same thing happening due to our lack of knowledge of God.

Obviously, application is an important part of knowledge. Knowing about God is not enough. We need to take what we know and use it to grow in intimacy and service. However, we try to grow in these areas without having any foundational knowledge. The book of Proverbs speaks over and over again about the importance of knowledge in the life of a child of the Father. It starts with the fear of the Lord (1:7), and reaches farther still.

~1:6 let the wise hear and increase learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance

~1:22, 28-29 fools hate knowledge...then they will call upon me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently but will not find me. Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord

~2:3-5 yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God

~7:4 call insight your intimate friend

~8:14 I have insight; I have strength

~9:10 and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight

~10:14 the wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near

~18:2 a fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion

~19:2 desire without knowledge is not good

~22:12 the eyes of the Lord keep watch over knowledge

~24:4-5 by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches, a man of knowledge enhances his might

The Bible is clear about the blessings of knowledge and the consequences of ignorance. Contrary to popular belief, ignorance and relativism are not displays of humility. They demonstrate a lack of knowledge, which Solomon likened to foolishness. In his second letter, Peter encourages his readers to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (3:18). Why? Because Jesus told us to know Him is to know the Father (John 14:9). The more we know the less likely we are to follow the ear-pleasing sounds around us. We will run after God's Word because it is the supreme source of all the knowledge we need.

This all comes back to my recent musings and readings about the church. A lot of struggles western Christianity has with people abandoning church, the faith, and everything else Christian rests with two parties: the individual and the church. We are not responsible for the individual, but the church is on us. Are we preaching, living, and sharing the knowledge of God? If we are, we should be encouraged to keep pushing forward. If not, we need to stop trying to please men and focus on pleasing our Father. True, one day, "the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord" (Isaiah 11:9). What are we doing to lend the earth a hand now?

golden girl

Today is the golden birthday of my younger sister. She turns 21. My golden day was less significant because 11 is rarely surrounded by any hoop-la because eleven year-olds are typically looking forward to 13.

It's hard to believe my sister is already 21, but I tend to forget my own age too. For anyone who reads my musings, I have stated how I am rather fond of my little sister. She is a real treat to spend time with. Unfortunately, my life tends to declare my disdain for her given my trend to move wherever she is not (or at least that's how it's been recently). I do think the limited time we spent last year will be beneficial to our relationship in the years to come. She still asks questions, and I am slowly learning to be humble enough to do the same. She is insightful, brutally honest, and compassionate. And I could definitely use a little of each in my own life. I am eagerly waiting to see what God has planned for her as she continues to grow in her love of and trust in Him.

Happy Birthday Rach-rach!

(even though you like to mimic my napping skills)

above all others

I can't recall the exact title of this painting. It is located in the Vatican Museum. It is painted on one of the room ceilings as you make your way to the infamous Sistine Chapel. The title said something along the lines of Jesus crushing the heretics/false gods. I love the depiction of all other gods shattering before the cross of Christ. Before I took the picture, I remember telling Jordan, "that's awesome!"

I love the cross! What is more, I love how it stands alone. No other faith can claim their god coming to earth for the goal of dying to save those who want nothing to do with Him. Every Sunday morning I am reminded of this wonderful truth. I sing it's promises while listening to the reality of its effects. I enter fellowship with brother and sisters who encourage me to daily pursue the cross. Throughout the week, God's Word reminds me of the necessity and beauty of the cross. More brothers and sisters come along side to reiterate its purpose. Everything we do as followers of Christ points to His sovereign reign and rule over all other gods. Let all doubt drive us back to the reality of this beautiful painting!

the battlefront

Ever since I graduated Messiah my readings frequently come back to the church. What should it look like? How should it function? Are we doing it right? Are we missing something? Why does everyone seem to have a serious critique? Am I over analyzing or being nit-picky?

None of the books I read answered any of those questions directly. However, many have taken an honest look at areas where the church should be praised (a lot more than what some would want us to believe) as well as those where repentance is needed. My current reading selection, Why we love the church, is one of these reads. While the main goal is to provide glimpses of hope for the body of Christ as she stands today, the authors aren't afraid to admit the errors where the body has failed. However, they are emphatically unwilling to "throw the baby out with the bathwater" as many in the "Christian" sphere are more than excited to do.

The authors, pastor Kevin DeYoung and church layman Ted Kluck, each take turns writing the different chapters. DeYoung's are more pastoral, while Kluck's more practical. The balance makes the reading more enjoyable and, at times, humorous. The same goes with their first book, Why we're not emergent by two guys who should be. They are both honest, but unapologetic when it comes what really matters.

The following quote took me off guard when I first read it:

Church, while a place of fellowship and friendship, is also the place we go to train and prepare for war...Church, to us, should be as relevant as the gym is to the boxer, or as basic training is to the soldier.

At first I saw images of youth being drilled militantly in Bible passages about the corruptness of this world and the depravity of man (both of which are true), which could be used to scream on street corners. Unfortunately for some, they interpret the Bible's verses about war as being fought in this manner. It's not violent, but it can get there.

Our training and preparing for war revolves around knowing the Scriptures, and, more importantly, the author behind them. Church is the avenue by which we learn these through the means of expository preaching and fellowship with other believers. If we saw daily life as an active battlefield, I believer church would be a more significant priority. We wouldn't be quick to lower it on the list, fill the slot with sports and activities, or make excuses for why it's not working out. We would understand it's necessity for our survival. We would love to be under the teaching of God's Word. We would strive for unity with our brothers and sisters. We would be more effective in preaching the gospel through transformed words and lives.

As a conclusion to this point, Kluck includes a challenge from A.W. Tozer to those of us who ignore the battle raging on around us or those who fail to see the church as the God-ordained resource that it is.

You live on year after year as if there was no battle to be fought with sin, the world, and the devil. Oh, careless churchman...awake to see eternal realities in their true light.