time is short

I struggled over whether or not to write this post. I know a handful of people wrestling with the reality of death, and I do not want to diminish their pain. Death is a hard, unnatural (result of the Fall) reality of life.

I recently made my way through the accident chapters of Choosing to See. Even without knowing the Chapman family, my heart was wrenching over the pain facing them. I cannot fathom losing a child, let alone in the horrific manner in which they did. In addition to dealing with the permanent absence of a loved daughter and sister, various members are wrestling over the immense guilt for how the accident transpired. As I read, I couldn't help but pray for this family and other families dealing with pain such as this. However, the hope, faith, and trust the Chapman family expresses in Jesus Christ is a beautiful display of the Holy Spirit's power.

As much as I cried when reading the expressions of pain, I cried just as much in their expressions of hope. This isn't to say they aren't hurting. What's different is how they hurt. They do so knowing full well the guarantee of seeing their daughter and sister again. It doesn't negate the pain, but it redeems it. Our God of redemption is demonstrating His ability to take every horrible situation and redeem it for His glory and our benefit. Mary Beth acknowledges the immense growth in the life of her family as individuals and as a unit through their pain. That is nothing short of a miracle.

I guess this story resonated with me because of what lies ahead of me. As much as I am excited to head off to India, there is a level of trepidation as well. Part of my trip will involve bringing the gospel to places it has never reached. I have no idea how the residents will respond. Even while I am closer to the camp headquarters, there is still no absolute certainty about my security. As this realization began to set in, God reminded me of the very same reality here in the states. I have no guarantee of my next breath. As Psalm 139:16 says, in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me. God already has the day when I will see Him face to face stamped out. There is nothing I can do to change that. Personally, that eliminates any thought of God being out of control. Whenever (and however) I leave this earth is exactly how He planned it to be before my life even began. That's actually comforting to know and trust in.

This concept has transformed my prayers over the past few days. Before the focus of my physical prayers was preventing injury and other discomforts. While there is nothing wrong with praying for these things (see Christ's prayer in the garden), I am omitting God's will in those areas. For all I know, He might allow me to get sick to bring about something I did not expect. He might have ordained one of those days over there to be my last (or one of the days before I leave for that matter). In light of this, my prayers are more centralized to asking for His will to be done in all phases of my trip. I want my health to go according to His will. I want my travel to go according to His will. I want my strength to go according to His will. Of course, I would thoroughly enjoy His will being the same as my wishes. But if they aren't I will rest in the fact that His will is always best. As Paul says in Philippians 1:21, for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. When we neglect this truth, we open ourselves up to bitterness and false accusations against God. Every fiber of our lives belongs to Christ. He can (and will) do with it whatever brings glory to the Father. I pray my trip is nothing but a display of God's glory. Whether I return in a similar condition or not at all, God will be glorified. And I will be blessed.