Thursday, December 4, 2014

the favored one

About a month ago, my wife and I visited the Philadelphia Art Museum for a "day date" (which ended with a delicious Indian buffet!). Despite living relatively close, I had never trekked to the Art Museum, not even to run up the steps like Rocky!

I must say I was impressed by the different exhibits. There were definitely some weird pieces (namely everything in the modern period), but I thoroughly enjoyed much of what I saw. While Bethany took one million photos (give or take), I only shot the two below.


I forgot to include the label, but this piece depicts the announcement of Christ's birth. Mary is the girl in the corner. The bright light is the angel, Gabriel. In the name of art appreciation, I gazed at this piece for around ten minutes (my sister told me how she read that this is what you are supposed to do when you visit an art museum). After the ten minutes is when I decided to take the photos.

Why?

The birth announcement is a popular moment many artists have captured throughout the centuries. However, this one, to me, seems the most accurate.

"'Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!' But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.'" ~Luke 1:28-33

As I read the account in Luke 1, I envision something like this picture. Mary is a young girl, maybe sixteen years old. She does not have a hallow around her head. She does not have blonde hair and blue eyes, but looks something like an Israelite living in the Middle East around the first century. She is not living in a mansion or a glamorous room. Gabriel is not the focal point, in fact the artist is not even concerned with his physical form. The emphasis is on young Mary.

She appears meek and humble. Her face captures her fear, but her fear is not paralyzing. She is listening to Gabriel's wonderful news. She is processing what it means for her. The reality of bearing the Savior is slowly sinking in. And yet, Mary seems at peace. With everything likely raging within her, Mary sits quietly. She will eventually ask "how?" but not in a spirit of defiance or resistance. Her young mind is trying to come to grips with how Gabriel's announcement will come to be.


And probably, what I like most about this picture is how I can vividly picture this Mary confessing the actual words Mary record by Luke, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Saving, helping, keeping, loving

In addition to class, I must listen to lectures for my counseling class. And just we do in class, each lecture begins with a hymn, often times dealing with suffering, temptation, and the hardships of life. Today, I began a lecture on my drive home from work. The hymn they sang was Jesus, What a Friends for Sinners.

What a beautiful song about what Christ does graciously on behalf of His people!

Jesus! what a Friend for sinners!
Jesus! Lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
He, my Saviour, makes me whole.

Hallelujah! what a Saviour!

Hallelujah, what a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving,
He is with me to the end.

Jesus! what a strength in weakness!

Let me hide myself in him;
Tempted, tried, and sometimes failing,
He, my strength, my vict'ry wins.

Jesus! what a help in sorrow!

While the billows o'er me roll,
Even when my heart is breaking,
He, my comfort, helps my soul.

Jesus! what a guide and keeper!

While the tempest still is high,
Storms about me, night o'ertakes me,
He, my pilot, hears my cry.

Jesus! I do now receive him,

More than all in him I find,
He hath granted me forgiveness,
I am his, and he is mine.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

the old or the new?

Over the past week, I have been pouring over Ecclesiastes 7:7-14. It is part of a class assignment, but not simply school oriented.

Surely oppression drives the wise into madness,
    and a bribe corrupts the heart.
Better is the end of a thing than its beginning,
    and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry,
    for anger lodges in the heart of fools. 
 Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?”
    For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.
Wisdom is good with an inheritance,
    an advantage to those who see the sun.
For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money,
    and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.  
Consider the work of God:
    who can make straight what he has made crooked? 
 In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.

With graduation coming in May (Lord willing), the end of this particular stage of life is at hand. According to Solomon, this is a good thing. However, it also brings the temptation to become envious, either of what came before or what lies ahead. I find myself sitting in this very position.

On the one hand, I am envious of the consistency of life as it currently stands. While I am ready to leave behind the life of a graduate student, the schedule has been my way of life. The looming change will certainly disrupt everything I am accustomed to.

On the flip side, I am tempted to be envious now of what might be come this time next year. I want to be in full-time ministry. I want to take the wealth of knowledge I have gained into the church context. I grow impatient of the ivory tower condition common in higher education. 

Either way, the temptation toward envy sounds attractive, but it leads to a lack of joy and gratitude. Such an scenario is exhausting for myself and those around me.

I "bunkered" down with this particular passage because the it is primarily concerned with wisdom. Wisdom works against envy. It views envy as the destructive force that it is. Wisdom seeks the mind of God, and rejoices in the work He is presently doing.

I also appreciate this passage because of it's call for joy and trust regardless of the circumstance. Instead of relishing the days prior or holding high hopes for those to come, there is joy to be found in the present where our God is actively working.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

My wife is a special lady

Here's proof...







Yup, those successfully capture our first (or second) introduction as husband and wife.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Be Still My Soul

 Before every counseling class my professor has us sing hymns. Some are familiar, while others obscure and/or unknown.

Praise God for those who have gone before us, but given us glimpses into their joys and struggles, which we share in today. They are honest. They are passionate. They bring comfort. And we have the privilege of singing along with them hundreds of years later.

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.


Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.


Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.


Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

"mighty man of valor"

In Hebrews 11, the author includes Gideon as a man of faith. This has always left me confused.

When God shows up, Gideon blames God for Israel's suffering and oppression. He retells Israel's history of redemption, then accuses God of forsaken His people. Gideon fails to understand Israel's repeated failure to uphold the covenant. He disregards Israel's idolatry and unfaithfulness. Instead, he blames God.

On repeated occasions, Gideon makes God "prove" himself. He asks for a sign that it is really God who is speaking with him. Later, he wants God to wet a fleece with the morning dew, and then keep it dry the next morning. And after being given every affirmation, Gideon still needs to hear his enemies' fear before he is willing to fight against them.

Every single time faith was demanded of Gideon, he seemed to shrink back. His faith rarely seemed very faith-like.

So how does he get included in Hebrews 11?

I am still not completely sure, but what I started noticing was the amazing compassion of God towards Gideon. God demonstrated the heart of a loving Father towards His weak and feeble son.

After being accused of abandoning His people, God tells Gideon "But I will be with you." After being asked for a sign, God sends fire from a rock to consume Gideon's gift. God meets each of Gideon's proposals with the fleece without saying a word.

And the dream followed by its interpretation?

Gideon never asked for this. "Arise, go down against the camp, for I have given it into your hand. But if you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp...And you shall hear what they say, and afterwards your hands shall be strengthened to go down against the camp" (Judges 7:9-11).

God saw Gideon's weak faith and strengthened it. He gave His servant exactly what he needed exactly when he needed it. God was not angry, critical, or condescending. He poured out His love and compassion upon Gideon. He was not obliged to do it. He willingly and freely gave it.

Therefore, Gideon's faith was strengthened. And he did exactly what God called and equipped him to do.

I am not sure if I can find greater encouragement than that. I am Gideon. My faith is childish more than it is child-like. Yet God continually pours out His grace to me. He calls me to come and ask, but even when I don't He shows Himself the most faithful of fathers.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

a perfect ending

The spring semester ended May 22nd. Three days later, I married my best friend. 

Not too shabby!
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. ~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12


Saturday, March 29, 2014

the Beatitudes

Recently I have been digesting the Beatitudes. They are familiar to most who have been in the church for any given period of time. Even someone unfamiliar with the Bible has probably heard one of these at some point in their lives. People have quoted them for a variety of purposes.

These words are significant for a number of reasons. In the context, they set the stage for Jesus' teaching about the Kingdom of God. Christ came to bring the Kingdom and preached its arrival (Mark 1:15). The Sermon on the Mount depicts what life in the Kingdom looks like. It is the King teaching about the elements of His Kingdom. It reveals far more than outward compliance, but a heart that faithfully follows, obeys, and serves the King.

The Beatitudes begin the King's message. They outline what the blessed, fortunate, even happy life looks like under the reign of the King. It is a life opposite of what the kingdoms of this earth deem valuable and securing blessing.

Each Beatitude is packed full of good stuff. It would not do justice to breeze past them quickly. I am setting out to reflect and meditate on these twelves verses here. I will not necessarily hit them each day (hopefully by the end of the month of April), but I do aim to address each one on its own.

And as the Passion Week approaches, my prayer is that these Beatitudes will turn me from myself to the King who freely gives these blessings to those resting in His finished work on the bloodied cross, empty tomb, and glorious ascension.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

health and wealth?

What kind of assurance does faith provide? Sadly, many believe faith assures prosperity in this life. John Calvin, in agreement with Scripture, emphasizes an entirely different understanding of assurance.

...Scripture establishes this as the sum of our salvation, that he [God] has abolished all enmities and received us into grace...

...For faith does not certainly promise itself either length of years or honor or riches in this life, since the Lord willed that none of these things be appointed to us. But it is content with this certainty: that, however many things fails us that have to do with the maintenance of this life, God will never fail. Rather, the chief assurance of faith rests in the expectation of the life to come, which has been placed beyond doubt through the Word of God. Yet whatever earthly miseries and calamities await those whom God has embraced in his love, these cannot hinder his benevolence from being their full happiness...

...In short, if all things flow unto us according to our wish, but we are uncertain of God's love or hatred, our happiness will be accursed and therefore miserable. But if in fatherly fashion God's countenance beams upon us, even our miseries will be blessed. For they will be turned into aids to salvation.

~from Calvin's Institutes, Book Three, chapter II, section 28 (emphasis mine)

Monday, March 3, 2014

serving size

"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." ~Lamentations 3:24

When applied to food, a portion is defined as that which is "enough." A portion provides the necessary nutrients as well as sustenance for the individual. A portion is enough to meet the present need.

The same goes in the mind of the author of Lamentations. The Lord is his hope. The Lord satisfies. The Lord sustains. The Lord is enough.

I agree wholeheartedly with the inspired author of this text. However, I wrestle with the real-life application.

There are so many things within and outside of myself promising satisfaction. They tell me I will have "enough" should I simply get my hands on this or that. Many of them are even good things, gifts from the hand of God. But they are not and never will be enough.

Thus far in my semester, a great deal of emphasis in two of my classes has been on the believer's union in Christ. On the one hand this concept is complex, but it is also simplistic. In Christ I find everything I need.

Living out my union with Christ is what "the Lord is my portion" looks like. It means living as an adopted son of God. It means walking in freedom from the reign of sin over me. It means resting in the hope of what is to come. It means living a life of holiness through the Spirit within me. It means of all these and more.

The Lord is my portion. And the more I rest and walk in my union in Christ, I will find him to be more than enough for all my needs.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

love and intimacy

I took up the challenge of reading The Song of Solomon. Throughout history folks have held different opinions regarding how to study this particular text with some even avoiding it completely. I decided to read it because I am a firm believer in teaching the full counsel of God given to us in the canon of Scripture. Or to put it more simply, I am convinced that all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Without getting too much into the theories of interpretation, a first reading of the book centers upon the relationship between a husband and a wife. There are many practical applications to be found when reading this particular text.

Because of what Paul says about marriage reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5), a second reading informs and strengthens the Church's relationship with her husband.

The book itself is filled with expressions of intimacy. The husband and wife share a deep desire for one another.

Draw me after you (1:4)
Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful (1:15)
Let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely (2:14)
My beloved is mine, and I am his (2:16)
I sought him whom my soul loves...I will seek him whom my soul loves...when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go. (3:1,2,4)
You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride (4:9)
This is my beloved and this is my friend (5:16)

While I hope this intimacy becomes a mark of the relationship between my soon-to-be-wife and I, I desire more to have it mark the relationship between me and great lover of my soul, between the Church and her Groom.

I want to draw after, delight in, see and hear, seek after, and be captivated by the One who died and rose again to bring me life. I want to hold onto Him and not let go. And I pray the same for the Church as a whole. May our love for our Husband trump all other affections and desires. May it flow from us into a world starving for the true love poured out on us. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

working out

Because I started lifting weights again...


...And I've encountered just about every stereotype in this video at one point or another in my gym crossings.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

happy to worry???

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life...Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
~Matthew 6:25, 34

Do not be anxious about anything
~Philippians 4:6

I do not like these verses. And yes, I just confessed to not liking God's Word.

My anxiety and worry are much more significant in light of them. I like to think my anxiety is a mere character flaw. It is simply part of who I am that I cannot do anything about. Sometimes I even like being anxious. It allows me to be grumpy or stand-offish. It lets me wallow in self-pity. It fixates on everything going wrong. It reinforces me as the center of my life.

It is for this very reason, both Jesus and Paul remove the blinders masking anxiety and worry. They are not character flaws or passed down traits. Anxiety and worry are sin. They are sin I need to confess and repent of. They are the very things that sent Christ to the cross.

When put into this proper perspective, my anxiety is not so cute and harmless. It is far more hideous and destructive. If I included the verses in between Matthew 6: 25 and 34, the emphasis would be on God meeting the needs of His children. Anxiety is a lack of faith in my heavenly Father. It says He either cannot or will not provide for me.

The verses surrounding Paul's words in Philippians 4 would expose anxiety as a lack of contentment as well as thankfulness. If I had these, I would worry less and pray a whole lot more. Again, anxiety is not cute and cuddly.

I realize I do a lot of things in the name of anxiety and worry. Some of the things are obviously destructive: lack of sleep, irritability, laziness, apathy to name a few. Others may appear constructive: saving/not spending money (for fear of not having it later instead of desiring to be a responsible steward), talking with people (as an alternative to prayer), playing it safe (because I fear anything too risky) to name a few.

God's Word does not give us instructions for how to appease our anxiety and worry. Instead, He tells us plainly to put it to death. He tells us to get rid of it altogether. It is damaging to ourselves, but more importantly is an affront to the goodness, faithfulness, sovereignty, and compassion of God. I think it is time I start seeing my worry the same way my Father does.

Monday, January 27, 2014

not daunted by size

Life is tragically humorous. Two weeks ago, prayer came easy. I found myself in a class centered upon the subject. Over the course of the three hour classes, we prayed for roughly 30-45 minutes each day. On the last Friday, we walked through the streets of Philadelphia praying for the city.

Today, prayer is painfully difficult yet again. I do not have an 3-hour block in which I can pray. The day starts and ends busy. There is always something demanding my time and attention. Sadly, prayer becomes the first thing to go when it should be the first place I turn.

Why does this always seem to happen? The Praying Life spoke to a number of reasons why people struggle to pray. One of them has come back to me in the past two weeks.

Majesty and humility are such as odd fit. This is one reason we struggle with prayer. We just don’t think God could be concerned with the puny details of our lives. We either believe he’s too big or that we’re not that important. No wonder Jesus told us to be like little children. Little children are not daunted by the size of their parents. They come, regardless.

I have a false humility when it comes to God. I understand how big He is, so I convince myself He is not concerned with my little problems. They do not appear to matter in the grand scheme. I call this humility when it is simply spiritual arrogance. I think I will look better if I ask nothing of God. Instead, I demonstrate a failure to grasp how God's majesty works alongside His grace and compassion.

I love the last two lines of the quote; Little children are not daunted by the size of their parents. They come, regardless.

I do not have kids, but my nieces and nephew demonstrate this perfectly. Comparatively speaking, their fathers tower over them. My brother-in-law in six feet tall and my brother is nearly there. While the kiddos understand the size difference, they do not hesitate to run and ask when they are in need. Size does not matter, because the love and compassion welcomes them in.

Our heavenly Father is the perfect display of this picture. Yes, He is holy, majestic, transcendent, and wholly-other. And yet, He is gracious, loving, patient, kind, and tender. He tells us to come not in condescending fashion, but as Father who lovingly wants to spend time with and meet the needs of His children.

Prayer understands this and takes advantage of the wonderful blessing.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

removing selfishness

We don’t mind acting selfishly, but talking selfishly is embarrassing.

Here is yet another quote from A Praying Life which I found rather uncomfortable. In reality it hints at one more reason why I fail to pray.

I avoid prayer because I already know my requests are often selfish and self-serving. I am like James' audience when he wrote, You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! (James 4:2-4).

It is overwhelmingly easy to behave selfishly. Sure, someone might call me out on it, but that does not mean I have to really do anything about it. But if I cling to such selfishness before the throne of grace, I know it will need to be removed. Therefore, I avoid the throne altogether. That way I can keep my selfishness and continue living in it without the painful removal process.

Prayer is that process. It is aligning my will with the will of God. It is desiring what He wants over (and often times against) what I want. The more I pray, the more and more my selfishness is dealt with. This in turn leads to less and less selfish behavior. In a sense, prayer is admitting my own selfishness. It then asks God to remove it for the selfless love demonstrated perfectly by our Savior.

I do not want to act selfishly, nor do I want to talk selfishly. If this is a real desire, then I should myself praying far more than I currently do.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

allergies

My quest to write more has already staggered a bit with only one post in two weeks. Thankfully, I am not officially keeping track of my progress.

This week I began a one-week class on prayer. The actual title of the course is "Prayer in Gospel Ministry." I took it for two reasons. One, I lead our church's monthly prayer services and thought taking a class on prayer would provide me with practical things I could apply immediately. Two, the one credit now allows me to trade two 2-credit classes for one 3-credit class either next fall or spring. And with being married next year, I thought one less class would allow for more time at home (or least I hope).

On just the first day, I realized this class came with an added bonus for my personal prayer life, or lack there of. I would be forced to pray. I would have to do that which I complain I do not have enough time for. Both in class and out of class, some of my time would need to be spent praying.

And this is exactly what I need for reasons far beyond the busy schedule about to kick into full gear come the first Monday in February. I need reminding of my dependence upon God. I need focused time of intimacy with my Father. I need my allow submitted to the will of God.

I hope to post a number of these over the next few days, but a quote from our "textbook," A Praying Life (Paul Miller) in the first few pages put this very concept of dependence in front of my face.

We have an allergic reaction to dependency, but this is the state of the heart most necessary for a praying life. A needy heart is a praying heart. Dependency is the heartbeat of prayer.

Clearly I have needs. Not so clear is my inability to meet my own needs. I want to believe I am capable of doing anything and everything on my own. This is why I fail to pray.

It has nothing to do with time. It has nothing to do with the busyness of life. It has nothing to do with exhaustion. It has everything to do with my pride and self-confidence.

Until I realize how helpless I am, I will not cry out "Abba, Father!" And my helplessness is not simply in the moments when I've reached the end of my rope. It's also in the moments when I feel strongest. I am helpless at every moment of every day. I am needy each and every hour.

Once this reality takes root in my heart, I will find the joy, blessing, and gift that prayer actually is for a child of God.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

A New Year's Resolution?

2013 saw me write the least of any year in my blog's four-year history (I'm not including the inaugural 2009 year which actually commenced in August). This caused me to seriously consider calling it quits. I rarely felt like writing. School and life already captivate the little time I had. Even when I found the urge, I avoided it. The things I wanted to say seemed to be more "soap-box" oriented than holding any sort of value. I simply wanted people to hear my voice. And personally, the blogosphere does not need one more voice screaming "listen to me!"

However, part of me could not give up blogging entirely. It has proven a valuable outlet in the midst of all my learning (both in seminary and life in general). I would come back to things I read for class which did not exactly pertain to my education. I would process things going on both in my small context as well as the world at large. And as the name suggests, writing here allowed me to wrestle either with my beliefs and convictions or my circumstances.

I do not make resolutions for the New Year. They are typically shallow and quickly abandoned. Without providing a number, I will say my desire is to write more. 2014 will be a busy year for me. This does not include all the unplanned-for things that will certainly come my way. Writing will (hopefully) help me to process, keep perspective, and grow over the course of this year. And as I have written before, my goal is not to gain attention or increase my list of readers (I do appreciate those who read and pray my writing serves you well). If I increase or decrease, it is no skin off my back. Instead I write for the same reason I engage in anything,

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31)

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:17)