removing selfishness

We don’t mind acting selfishly, but talking selfishly is embarrassing.

Here is yet another quote from A Praying Life which I found rather uncomfortable. In reality it hints at one more reason why I fail to pray.

I avoid prayer because I already know my requests are often selfish and self-serving. I am like James' audience when he wrote, You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! (James 4:2-4).

It is overwhelmingly easy to behave selfishly. Sure, someone might call me out on it, but that does not mean I have to really do anything about it. But if I cling to such selfishness before the throne of grace, I know it will need to be removed. Therefore, I avoid the throne altogether. That way I can keep my selfishness and continue living in it without the painful removal process.

Prayer is that process. It is aligning my will with the will of God. It is desiring what He wants over (and often times against) what I want. The more I pray, the more and more my selfishness is dealt with. This in turn leads to less and less selfish behavior. In a sense, prayer is admitting my own selfishness. It then asks God to remove it for the selfless love demonstrated perfectly by our Savior.

I do not want to act selfishly, nor do I want to talk selfishly. If this is a real desire, then I should myself praying far more than I currently do.