mr. lonely

As youths my brother and I enjoyed listening to music. Given our small living quarters, the thought of playing both our music at the same time was impossible. Therefore, we grew to like the same genres of music or learned to tolerate where we disagreed. It was through music where we shared many laughs together. We would either sing to our hearts contentment or make fun of one another because of the song one of us was listening to and enjoying. One of the songs we both enjoyed was Mr. Lonely. Maybe it was because of our tendency to overvalue our boyhood crushes and heartbreaks, but one can only guess. We burned it on one of his mixed CD's in order to enjoy the song at a moment's notice. Those were truly some of the good old days.

Years removed I still find myself singing, or at least contemplating, Mr. Lonely. The premise of the song is a soldier stationed somewhere apart from his loved ones. He feels completely isolated, deserted, and alone. The songs finishes with the lines, lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely, I'm wishing that I could go back home as an official declaration of identity: a loner with nowhere to go. God's Spirit is challenging me through the books of Habakkuk and Isaiah against adopting this song as my own.

Once again, God shows how much we are like the men and women of Scripture, typically at their worst. While Habakkuk never declares his loneliness, his first complaint offers a hint at it. O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear? Obviously his biggest issue is God's seeming lack of regard for the injustices around him. However, he is also voicing his feelings of abandonment. He is struggling to sense the presence of God in the midst of suffering. He is asking, "am I alone?" He wonders whether the God of the Abrahamic covenant will be faithful or write off His people. He believes the former, but, in his heart, fears the latter. Here is a glimpse of what Christ experienced over the course of His final hours on earth. His disciples left Him alone and deserted without a friend. Jesus new exactly what it felt like to be alone. However, He trusted in the faithfulness of His heavenly Father in the midst of absolute peril. He did not resolve to despair, but labored on. Habakkuk's, like Christ's, feeling of loneliness remained only a feeling.

My problem is I am not like Christ or, even, Habakkuk. I take the natural feelings of loneliness and turn them into the sin of loneliness. How? I let them drive me to a place of despair because I actually begin to believe I am alone. I take on the identity of Mr. Lonely. Sure, I have plenty of support and fellowship with friends and family. There are people all around me able to cure my loneliness. Why else would God create us for relationships? Their job is to keep me from starting to believe in the reality of my loneliness. With them around there is no reason why I should despair. Why then was Jesus able to avoid such despair when all His human relationships fell apart? How could He keep from falling into the sin of loneliness when I struggle to get out of it?

Jesus didn't put his trust in relationships. He wasn't in them for their company. That was simply a bonus. He knew that every relationship, no matter how intimate cannot satisfy our loneliness. We need something more. The people around can help ease the pain, but they won't remove it altogether. Only our Father has that ability. Why else would He get up early and seek out His Father every morning? We fall into sin when we look for others to fulfill the role of the Father, Son, and Spirit. Our relationships should point us to our need for Him, not make us feel capable apart from Him. He is the one who gave us life, sustains life, and gives everlasting life. We should feel alone when we are removed from Him because the loneliness should draw us back. It becomes sin when we let it drive us further away and begin to embrace it. God knows this, which is why He offers us plenty of reminders about who He is and what He can do. The book of Isaiah is filled with these promises. They remove our loneliness as our eyes fix on Him who satisfies all.

...that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name...I call you by your name, I name you (45:3&4)

...even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs, I will carry you. I have made and I will bear; I will carry and will save. (46:4)

The Lord called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name (49:1)

...because of the Lord, who is faithful, the Holy One of Israel, who has chosen you (49:7)

Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands (49:16)