the loss of a friend

The week thus far has been a rather emotional one. For the first time, all the emotions are not related to what is going on in my classroom. There, I continue to plug away as I realize how worn out I am by all that has transpired this year (another post about that topic will be written in the next few weeks).

The emotional twist started with my journey home over the weekend. Whenever I am around my family emotions are always involved. I got to spend time with my sister, niece, dad, younger sister, cousins, aunt, uncle, and briefly, mom. It was a good time of reconnecting and enjoying being with each one of them. I am always reminded how much I take my family for granted whenever I come home to an empty house or am spending time with friends who have not been blessed in this particular way. I am left to once again thank my Father for all the rich blessings He has lavished upon me.

As ridiculous as this is going to sound, the highly anticipated end to my favorite television show also brought on some unexpected emotions. LOST have taken over my Tuesday evenings since my freshman year of college when it all began. Over the years, Tuesday has become a night of fellowship with friends on a consistent basis. It has also helped to establish new relationships with folks out here, which has been good for me. Aside from the need to now put forth more of an effort in attempts for fellowship, the show itself tugged at the old heart strings. For those who have never watched and, therefore, don't understand, LOST focused on the relationships between characters for the duration of its airing. You learned to love every character over the course of six years, and the way they chose to end the show did justice them. At times, I found myself holding back a couple of tears or swallowing a large lump that had formed in the back of my throat. Personally, I enjoy whenever television or movies can do this effectively. I welcome it whenever I can.

Those two items aside, the real emotional draw of this week revolves around the title of my post. First, I want to preface it by saying I do not mean to belittle anyone who has lost a genuine friend. I lost one when I was three, but can only remember crying and asking my parents when I would get to play with him again. I am close with plenty of people who have lost loved ones and do not want to poke fun at their struggles to cope. This week's loss is nowhere near the same level, but still significant.

On Monday, our family lost our lovable companion, Snickers. Nothing drastic, just simply the affects of aging.

Now I personally get annoyed whenever people refer to their dogs as a member of the family or with any other human terms. Snickers was not a human. She was not my 4th sibling or my parent's 5th child. She was exactly what I said she was, a lovable companion. She wasn't very fond of other people (especially poor Jordan), but she loved her family.

We got her when I was in sixth grade (I think), and last year was the most enjoyable time I have ever had with her. When I would come home from substituting, she would greet me at the door, tail wagging with delight. At night, I would head down to my "office" in the basement where she would follow. While I typed away at everything and anything, she would lay at my feet content. If I got up, she would follow until I found a place to sit. The best was when you pulled out a blanket because she would get excited at the opportunity to lay on top of it with you. As cheesy as it sounds, Snickers always made you feel like you were important (maybe because she couldn't eat, drink, or go to the bathroom without me). She wasn't overly big on snuggling unless it was on her terms. But when those moods came, I couldn't help but smile. I have a lot of family memories which include her somewhere in the picture, whether it's wrestling with my brother to see who she would come to the aid of (always him) or decorating her with all the Christmas present leftovers. Even those who didn't want her in the first place or grew tired of her down the line found some pleasure in her being around. Unlike what the movie says, I don't believe she's in heaven, but that's not important. She was simply another gift God blessed our family with. It will be weird when I head home, and she is not around, but that always comes with any loss no matter how small. The Big Guy will just need someone else to snuggle up with on the floor, which is why he's got grandkids, I guess.