It's been a few days since the school year ended. The vacation aspect of summer has yet to take effect thanks to in-services, but there is a significant difference when the school is void of any children. The volume level is the most noticeable as well as the relaxed atmosphere amongst the teachers. These changes (and the gradual winding down) have provided time to think and reflect upon what has transpired over the course of this year. If I wanted to, I could set aside multiple posts to hit all the different lessons I learned. Unfortunately, that would be a lot of writing, some redundancy, and occasional topics which have very little value to anyone other than me. Therefore, I am going to skip the professional lessons, and zero in on those which God has used to further my sanctification.
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. (I Timothy 1:15-16)
Sin is a serious problem in every classroom. My classroom is no exception. The students bring their own sins into the room while dealing with the effects of those in their lives who have sinned against them. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about any of that. I can't reverse the effects of sin or make my students stop. However, there is plenty I can do about the sin so prevalent in my own life: confess and repent of it.
I mess up more things in my life than anybody else. This holds true for my classroom. A lot of the problems facing me had more to do with my own sins than those of my students. There were days I was proud, unloving, impatient, unjust, discouraging, angry, and plenty more. Instead of allowing the power of Christ to redeem my fallen classroom, I became a contributing member to its fallen nature. I was (and always am) in need of grace. My biggest struggles arose when I lost the message of the gospel Paul so eloquently outlined to Timothy. I am the worst sinner I know. If I don't believe it, then I have no part in the gospel. My ability to be an effective light to my students only comes as I understand my daily dependence upon grace. The more I understand my need, the more Christ will pour out His grace to flow through me to my students.
2. There is only one Savior, and I am not Him.
You are my witnesses, declares the Lord, and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed nor shall there be any after me. I, I am the Lord, and besides me there is no savior. I declared and saved and proclaimed (Isaiah 43:10-12)
I am not Superman. I can't save my students from their issues, struggles, pains, and/or anything else. I need to stop trying to play the part of savior. It doesn't fit me. There is nothing inside me capable of saving another. Basically, I need to stop thinking of myself as a functional savior for my students. The role of Savior belongs to Jesus Christ alone. Only He can take all the baggage my students carry around with them and heal them. He may graciously use me to ease the pain of the baggage, but I will never be the avenue for deliverance. When I try to play the part of savior I am successful only at inhibiting the work of the Spirit.
Unfortunately my pride wants to be the savior. More than anything I want to either be the one to change all the garbage in their lives or be the one to point them in the direction where that change can occur. Essentially, I want to have a hand in what Christ accomplished on the cross. I spent a lot of wasted effort and tears trying to do that very thing. I grew very frustrated when all my attempts failed to bring about the results I was hoping for. As I slowly released my desire to play the part of savior, Christ demonstrated His ability to save, and to do so miraculously.
3. His power truly is made perfect in our weakness.
But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (I Corinthians 12:9-10)
It has taken a long time, but I think this year taught me to embrace my weaknesses. The embracing isn't out of false humility, but expectancy for what God can do with my weaknesses. I can remember a couple of prayers where I gratefully thanked God for not making me Mr. Universe. These moments happened as teachers gave me compliments in areas where those close to me would say "wait, you're talking about Derek?" When people praised me for my weaknesses, pride found it hard to become inflated. The continual deflation of my pride brought with it more avenues for Christ to work through my weaknesses. I grew more willing to step out in faith as my fear of weakness subsided. The truth behind this promise took on a living and active element as opposed to a powerless statement Christians tend to throw around. I am still thankful for my strengths, because they are gifts God has blessed me with to serve Him. However, I look at my weaknesses as opportunities for God to receive all the glory, leaving no room for any other accolades.
As the summer progresses, I am certain more lessons will be revealed to me by the Spirit. Until then (by the grace of God), I will allow the Spirit to continue to teach me the deeper truths behind these lessons and help me better comprehend and adore my Savior.
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