in the wake

Despite being six years removed from my days as a church youth member I still hold a fondness for retreats. I love the reorienting of our lives around Christ, and the continual work He is doing within us. I also remember the difficulty of coming back with the hopes of maintaining the "high" from the days prior. The desire is as high as ever, but it eventually wears away as the days drag on. Even though I am older and, supposedly, wiser I must admit a similar mentality creeping in.

Retreats make living out the gospel drastically easier. The natural direction for conversations revolve around Christ and His Word. God's admonition to the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6 becomes a reality. Whether waking, sleeping, eating, walking, or playing Christ is nearly always the center. This time around, I received the blessing of being a leader. It was an encouragement engaging in such conversations with the students or simply watching the students do so on their own. Now comes the hard part of pressing on in this spirit despite the reality of being thrust back into modern culture.

As our group of leaders departed, our prayer for the students revolved around taking the spirit of fellowship, communion, and growth into everyday life.

As for me, I went into the week with the purpose of being there solely for the students, my small group of 8 in particular. Little did I know God wanted to do some work in me while I served Him. Not long into the week, I became increasingly aware of one thing: God is not human.

Sounds basic and simple, right? The theme of the week revolved around trust. The focus started off horizontal, but quickly moved vertical. In my life, I fail to differentiate between the two. I like to place my trust in God at only the same level I place my trust in people. I place the finiteness of mankind upon the Creator of the universe. Instead of turning over everything to Him, I fear He will let me down like everyone I have ever known has done at some point in my life.

Proverbs 3:5-6 was the theme verse for the week. Obviously, I don't have the truths of those verses down yet, but the week showed me where my struggles really lie. I don't trust in the power of the God of the universe to sustain my every need. I can't wrap my mind around the truth of His sovereignty and faithfulness. The scars of human relationships have transferred over to my view of Him. And where God has me right now my trust is being tested. He is calling me out of the boat in order to step onto the water and run to Him.

For this to happen, I need daily reminders of who He is for the purpose of humbling me and shining His holy light directly at my lack of trust in Him.

The Lord reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad! Clouds and thick darkness are all around him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. Fire goes before him and burns up his adversaries all around. His lightnings light up the world; the earth sees and trembles. The mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth. The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see his glory. All worshipers of images are put to shame, who make their boast in worthless idols; worship him, all you gods! Zion hears and is glad, and the daughters of Judah rejoice, because of your judgments, O LORD. For you, O LORD, are most high over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods. O you who love the LORD, hate evil! He preserves the lives of his saints; he delivers them from the hand of the wicked. Light is sown for the righteous, and joy for the upright in heart. Rejoice in the LORD, O you righteous, and give thanks to his holy name! ~Psalm 97

What is there not to trust about that?