on man...

Today was pretty much a terrible, rotten, no good, very bad day (for those who know the book by a similar title). My patience was pushed to the brink, and, thankfully, the Spirit kept me from going over the edge. I don't know what it is about some of these students, but I wish I did. Obviously, they need to experience the love of our Savior and the miraculous change He can orchestrate within. Sadly, my job description does not allow me to do that with my words, just my actions. I am left only (and by only I do not mean to minimize the role and effectiveness of prayer) to pray each and every day for these youngsters, and try my best to be Jesus to them because I fear it may be the only experience they ever have with Him. It's excpetionally hard on days like today, but on my way home I was reminded that it can be done.

How many times have I pushed God's patience to the brink? (Technically the answer is zero, because He is long-standing and merciful) As I rode home listening to whatever worship songs my Ipod would play, I was overcome with the sense of my own rebellion towards God. Even with a new heart and mind, I still act significantly worse towards my Savior, than my students act towards me. I know the Truth, and often times choose to act against it. I have experienced the grace and love, but neglect to let it saturate my relationship with Him. If I can get so frustrated with the students who talk back and refuse to listen, how is it that God can continually be faithful when I run away and take His blessings for granted? Grace. Where would I be without grace? It is what has saved me and what continues to sustain me each and every day.