"when God shows up"

Apparently people like to say this a lot. I can't say how many stories I have heard where people describe things as going a certain way until "God showed up." I understand their point, but I never really liked that saying. It implies God being somewhere else, when His Word promises He won't. I think the more appropriate quote should be "God grabbed my attention." Or in my case; "God knocked me topside the head."

Ever since I moved, I have been looking for a church to become a part of and experience community with. My search led me to a handful of churches, but each one did not meet my expectations (hopefully you are more discerning than I was, and, even now, recognize my foolishness). In my arrogance, I acted like an athlete in the middle of a contract dispute; I held out. I took my self-centered attitude into every church with the intended purpose of finding its faults. Unbeknownst to me, my heart became hard to God's grace being displayed through these bodies of believers. My heart had become like Pharaoh: callous towards the blessings of our God because they weren't what I wanted. I took this heart with me to church this morning ready to fight.

I attending a service this morning where worship was the theme of the worship service. I brought my attitude in with me, assured that everything I would hear had already been impressed upon me. I would be told that God is the center of all our worship, leaving all our preferences and criticisms void. I would be encouraged to contemplate the vastness of God in order to drive my posture in worship. Finally, I would hear how worship incorporates all aspects of our lives, not just special occasions. As a matter of fact, Psalm 145 and Revelation 4 were the passages of the sermon, and they reiterated my assumptions. I had successfully listened to the sermon and convinced myself everything shared through the Word received a "check" in my gradebook. I was getting ready to leave in the same manner I came in; then God knocked me topside my head.

Graciously, the church decided to do most of their worship, in song, after the sermon. They wanted a chance for God's people to respond to His Word. I began with the half-hearted singing I took up before the sermon, still convinced of my righteousness. They started the second song, which I was completely unfamiliar with. I had to go from fake singing to a fake contemplation over the words. It was in this song, that God did the knocking. Honestly, I don't even remember any of the words, the style, or anything else about the song, because it wasn't the song that "knocked me over." It was our God overwhelming me with just how BIG and GLORIOUS He truly is! I stood bare before His throne with only my arrogance and pride to show. I was Job when God said to him, "Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me." And like Job, my mouth was rendered useless before Him.

But in His mercy, He granted me forgiveness. He did not leave me there, but drew me unto Himself through my Savior. In that posture, I worshipped the way I was created to. My heart acknowledged that, "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable."