Royal Rumble

I used to watch WWF wrestling at my old neighbor's house because my parents didn't like it (and rightfully so). My personal favorite was the Royal Rumble. It was when 4 men started in the ring, but as time went by more and more people started entering. The way to defeat an opponent was not by pinning, but by physically throwing them over the ropes and out of the ring. The only way to get this done was by catching someone completely off guard, or waiting until he was more tired than you. On top of that, the chances of you fighting multiple people at the same time were significantly high. As kid I loved to watch these displays of "brute strength" regardless of the fact that everything was staged.

My point of introduction is to give a glimpse of my last couple weeks. I feel like I am in the midst of a Royal Rumble, except no one is fighting against each other as all their attention is fixed on me. When I think I am ready to throw one out, another lands a shot to throw me off balance. I feel pinned in at every angle with no sign of relief. Probably the strangest part of all of this is my time spent with God is still as sweet as ever. I look forward to reading, studying and praying, but I agonize leaving that time. I ache physically, emotionally, and spiritually at the thought of heading back into the ring. I told my roommate the other day how I would love nothing more than to spend my days in presence of the Lord through Scripture, prayer, and study. I don't say this out of self-righteousness, but out of a genuine love for basking in the presence of my Savior. While this is obvously a wonderful thing, it is not so wonderful when I find it impossible to soak in His grace outside of those times. This makes the ring seem more like my "last stand." I am the tired wrestler who has been in since the beginning of the rumble, aimlessly swinging, and praying one of those swings lands somewhere. Part of me hopes one of my adversaries will fling me over the ropes, while the other clings to the last strand of hope I have left. I know He's in the ring somewhere, but the suplexes and flying elbows have made my vision blurry.