willing submission

Since I have shared with nearly everyone I have come in contact with over the last week, I might as well make it "official" with a post. As of Monday, I left my position as a fourth grade teacher in order to pursue God's calling on my life in the area of ministry. What area might that be? Right now I am not sure. My goal in "taking the year off" was to plug myself into different avenues of ministry in order to get a feel of where God wants to use my gifts and passions to further the work of the gospel.

My first planned avenue was (and still is) missions. I believe God desires for me to give Him a significant amount of my time and energy serving Him somewhere. Since returning from Italy, I have been in contact with various missionaries and organizations. A couple of options have risen which we draw me out of the states for anywhere between 3 and 6 months. It's definitely a test of my comfort levels, but I am excited at what God will do in and through me.

The plan to forgo teaching is extremely recent as my original intent was to teach one more year, and then enter seminary next fall. Seminary is still on the table, but I finally warmed up to the idea of teaching being absent during my time in Italy. In fact, upon my return home I was not only ready to leave teaching behind, I was in full agreement. God changed my heart from reluctance to willing submission. I was ready (and still am) to dive out of the boat.

Unfortunately, my teaching contract is going to drag this process out longer than I expected. I understood the lateness of my request (two weeks before school), but I know God is more than capable of establishing His will. I went in today in order to prepare the classroom while they searched for my replacement. Now, it seems as though I will start off the year in the classroom as a "lame-duck" (my words not theirs) teacher until they find my official replacement. It's a significant downer for me given the change I underwent over the past three weeks. My heart's desire now is to be serving in one of the opportunities laid before me, not teaching. Thankfully, God works miracles, and He has options. He is more than capable of bringing in my replacement between now and the first day of school (roughly 1 week). He is also more than capable of changing my heart for however long He would have me in the classroom. He can also have me in the classroom for a time, while still being able to begin raising support and finalizing my destination. He could also go somewhere completely different. Either way I pray I can echo Paul's sentiments in 1 Corinthians 16:5-9 (emphasis mine):

I will visit you after passing through Macedonia, for I intend to pass through Macedonia, and perhaps I will stay with you or even spend the winter, so that you may help me on my journey, wherever I go. For I do not want to see you now just in passing. I hope to spend some time with you, if the Lord permits. But I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries.

I don't know what's in store, but I pray the Lord is permitting everything He has ordained for me, and that my eyes sees the wide door in front of me. Wherever that door may lead.