knowing my way

You search out my path and my lying down,

and are acquainted with all my ways...

You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is so high that I cannot attain it.

~Psalm 139:3, 5-6

I read this as part of our church-wide devotional designed to get us thinking about how our worship of God leads us to share the gospel with others. The entire Psalm speaks overwhelmingly about God's sovereignty and complete control over all of His creation. For me, it speaks significantly to my time in India.

In addition to reaching out to the lost with the good news of Jesus Christ, I am heading to India in search of God's will for my life and ministry. Six months ago I would have said India is simply an opportunity for me to serve God. I strongly believed the time there would give me valuable experience for a life in church ministry. Missions was never really an option. Recently this has changed.

At this juncture I am riding the fence. No longer do I see church ministry as my only option. It's still a desire of mine, but missions has slid its foot in the door as well. I would not be opposed to heading elsewhere to serve for a given period of time. India may be where God gives me a passion for a particular people group. This passion may lead me back to the states for seminary, into another country, or something I haven't even considered yet. It's all somewhat exciting and, to be honest, scary. I have absolutely no idea where God is going to lead me as a result of this trip.

Psalm 139 speaks beautifully to my lack of knowledge. God is not clueless as the direction I am going. He is the One leading (as long as I am continually submitting) according to His perfect will. He is not going to bring to a place where I must go at it on my own. His hand will ever be upon me. This doesn't mean I will have any clue as to my future in ministry. But knowing isn't where the comfort lies. Our comfort lies is the orchestrator of our steps. His ways are wonderful and too high for me to attain. Therefore I go trusting His illuminate my steps and use His Spirit to move me as He sees fit.