sins of the fathers

I am not a husband. I am not a father. I have zero experience when it comes to loving a wife, lovingly raising children, and leading a home. I have strong desires to one day get such a chance should God desire it for me. But I am going to share some thoughts about that which I know nothing about based on experience. However, God's Word trumps experience. In it He tells all men how they are to conduct themselves as husbands and fathers. Therefore while I lack the experience, I am not lacking in the truths God has revealed about the two most important roles any man can have.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
~Ephesians 5:25, 33

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

~Ephesians 6:4

"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

~1 Timothy 5:8

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord"

~Psalm 127:3

"Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful.:

~Song of Solomon 1:15

These are merely a few of the many verses pertaining to husbands and fathers. The last is a reminder of how husbands talk to their wives and pour out their love for them in speech as well as deed. There are other encouragements for husbands in Solomon's book as well, but since this is a family blog I'll leave it to the readers to study those on their own.

My reasoning behind posting the above verses about husbands and fathers has a bit to do with my own desires, but more with some struggles for me as of late. The special needs camp was emotionally rough for me. One father (another showed up later) attended the camp as most are absent in general from the lives of their wives and children. It's very difficult to watch these individuals struggle daily without any support (financial, emotional, physical, spiritual) from those expected to lead their homes.

To top it all off, one of the counselors from the camp entered the hospital last night low on blood. She suffers from anemia, but is severely malnourished as well. Apparently, her father takes just about all of his paycheck to the local bar where he drinks it all away. The mother is left to work a physically strenuous job (which she can't everyday) just to put food on the table. Given her lack of funds, the family (two siblings in addition to the counselor) only eats rice with some chili powder in it. Vegetables, fruits, protein, fat, and other essential nutrients not served at the expense of the father's drinking habits.

While visiting her at the hospital my mind considered the above verses and the numerous men I encountered (through their wives and children) over the past week failing miserably. But the hardest part is how these men aren't even trying to succeed. This is where God's Spirit is teaching me to keep my emotions in check. Feeling angry over the immense pain caused by these men is not wrong (Ephesians 4:26). We just need to be careful that our anger doesn't lead us to sin. My flesh wants the anger to lead towards judgment and slander instead of prayer for these men and their families. My anger should also lead me to praying for all husbands and fathers, both those I know and don't. As Mark Driscoll likes to say, "marriage is for men, not little boys." Unfortunately, many are living as little boys with no clue to the immense responsibility they have to lead their families. Paul's warning in the verse from 1 Timothy is no a laughing matter. My anger must also lead me to evaluate my own life. While I am not a father, I can be instilling healthy practices and habits for when that day comes. Because I do not want to be anything but the man God's Word calls all men to be in relation to Him and the families He blesses them with.